So after years of dating, gaming, approaching and having some relationships here and there, I’ve reached a bit sour but probably rewarding conclusion.

I’ve dated and approached hundreds of girls, but the common pattern I noticed is how it just never works out and there is always some sort of situation or “something that happens” that makes it impossible for things to move forward, mostly into a relationship.

I am a handsome guy, educated, I make women laugh, think and have a good time, I have a good lifestyle and basically things a lot of women would like to be part of. But after meeting and dating tons of them, it just never worked: flakes, ghosting, excuses and anything you could think of. If things seemed to move along, there always ended up something happening: a new guy, a trip, a job, studies, but there was always some sort of excuse. Only once, after maybe more than 500 girls, I met one who wanted to be with me and didn’t play games. All was great but then she started pressuring to get married and have kids, which made me realize she was viewing me more as a tool to achieve what she wanted than being “in love”. Anyways, it was always “working out” for the rest but never for me. 

This got me thinking into how much is this worth it? Or is it even worth it considering the constant deception that this brings, there is always going to be some sort of situation in your disfavor, so is it even worth the struggle for little reward if you don’t plan on having kids?

Before having that relationship, I would see guys with a girl and think to myself, wow, he is so lucky, but now I also see couples with strollers and the man always has an expression of regret and wanting out, so now I don’t think the same: I think, he is probably trapped and although I feel l want a relationship, I’m actually lucky no woman is sticking with me: I can focus on myself, work, and don’t have to deal with in laws, things I don’t want to do and so on. 

Some of you might say, but you just haven’t met the right one. Sure, but how many more do you have to meet for that to happen? I think 500 is a fairly big number. I compare it to going to the casino and keep on betting on the slot machine, thinking the next one will be the win, being like dogs chasing the carrot. 

All of this got me looking into Buddhist philosophy, in which it states that desire is the root of suffering, so the cure is to stop desiring. Not thinking of becoming a monk, but facing harsh statistics from personal experience as well as other men, I see that this is something we all go through. Also, there is this phrase: “psychopathy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.

So is this a cycle we are never meant to fulfill? If you end up getting laid and then she or you decide to leave, you end up lower emotionally and energetically than you were as if you would have avoided it all together. Food for thought.