It’s been a while since I posted, but I just had a huge victory today and thought I’d share because it’s actually pretty hilarious.

So today, I had a phone hearing with the state attorney about child support because my STBX decided to split and try living off government assistance. I have four kids, so I was mentally preparing for the worst possible outcome. Even the state attorney warned me before calculating the numbers that it was going to be high.

Here’s where it gets funny:

Privately, me and the STBX had already discussed $1,200, and I had mentally prepared to accept it. But once the state attorney ran the actual numbers, they calculated $825 based on my income, custody time, and the fact that I cover all the kids’ medical. Obviously, I agreed immediately, and she declined.

So we go back and forth, and I offer $1,000 as a compromise. She agrees, and the state attorney starts writing it up.

Then the real chaos starts.

Turns out, my STBX had failed to send in the necessary paperwork that the attorney had requested months ago, so she was scrambling to email everything last-minute. The state attorney calls her out on it and then compliments me:

“Thank you, Mr. X, for coming prepared and sending your documents on time.”

Meanwhile, STBX is fumbling through lies about child care—saying our kid is in daycare when he’s actually getting kicked out because she didn’t pay the bill. The attorney stops her and asks, “Is that true?” She tries to cover, but at this point, the attorney sees right through her.

Then, another hilarious moment.

The attorney suddenly stops and goes: “Wait, you said you make X amount, but your paystubs reflect otherwise.” Then she turns to me and says:

“Mr. X, it’s only a couple of cents difference, but if you want, I can recalculate everything.”

At this point, I had to mute my phone because I was so thrilled that the state attorney was basically roasting my STBX. I laughed and said, “There’s no need, you can proceed.”

So the attorney finalizes the paperwork, and when I get it to e-sign, I notice something crazy:

Instead of $1,000 or even $825, the final amount says $823.

I signed it instantly like nothing was wrong, and surprisingly, so did my STBX.

Final Thoughts

I don’t know if this was an honest mistake or if the state attorney adjusted it on purpose after seeing through my ex’s nonsense. But either way, I thought the state was going to destroy me, and instead, I walked away with one of the best possible outcomes.

At the end of the day? I feel free now.