No More Mr. Nice Guy

CcRemix · 2024-11-16T14:23:25+00:00

Changed my life FR

fiddsy · 2024-10-24T11:40:01+00:00

I feel like I didn't get much from it tbh.

I don't fit the bill of the description of a nice guy from the book.

I can definitely see how it would be beneficial for many men. Just think there are better reads out there.

dnbndnb · 2024-10-24T05:10:28+00:00

There’s a Reddit sub r/NMMNG as well

ArizonaSpartan · 2024-10-24T01:35:56+00:00

I had some work to do in this area. I find Gatekeeper a much better fit for me.

Appropriate-Shift564 · 2024-10-24T01:21:53+00:00

Read it front to back in two days last week. Too early to tell but I have be alot more open around women lately and more confident overall. I definitely felt connected to several themes in the book. Pleasing others before myself actually builds resentment in self which has a high probability to displease yourself and your partner.

It was eye opening and a breathe of fresh air for someone like me going through a divorce.

CryMeaRiver2Crawl · 2024-10-23T18:20:27+00:00

I listened for 33 minutes and realized I’m not a Mr nice guy! I think I was, at some point in time, but that changed and as I started setting limits to my wife’s behavior towards me, it eventually ended in divorce.

BarnacleBill25 · 2024-10-23T17:39:11+00:00

Try Dr. Aziz’s podcasts or his books, especially Not Nice. He’s got many exercises to help deal with the anxiety end of this.

Aziz interviewed Glover (see it on YouTube). NMMNG was Aziz’s introduction to what is now his profession, social anxiety.

I was part of a poorly moderated NMMNG group but left eventually because the red pill smell got too strong.

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-10-23T17:00:43+00:00

I have to concur with OP. I’m listing to this book now with about 2.5 hours to go.

I wouldn’t say I necessarily agree with 100% of the content so far but there’s a LOT there for me to process and reflect on.

I’m actually struggling now to find my tribe. I know WHAT to do and WHY, and I’m working on it; I’m in AA and I make a lot of calls to other men in my home group week over week, but I rarely connect or get a callback. I’ve been living in a new town near Nashville for about 15mo. The only family I have are my two sons (19 & 21) who live in CA with their mother and they’re hard to reach too.

I’ve also identified in the past 6 months that I have what’s described as an “anxious insecure” attachment style and it’s tied directly to the Nice Guy characteristics.

I haven’t found good resources to help directly with this anxious attachment in itself, and honestly think NMMNG has been my best resource so far.

Even though it’s not a 100% match for me, I feel I have the awareness to take what I can use and leave the rest.

bennyl23 · 2024-10-23T16:54:44+00:00

I just started this the other day and so far it definitely applies to me. Wish I had read it years ago.

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-10-23T16:49:44+00:00

I think we’ve all been brainwashed by the phrase “ happy wife happy life”

Chris_Chilled · 2024-10-23T16:38:40+00:00

I read it for business before I was even married.

Exact_Public_2958 · 2024-10-23T16:09:38+00:00

Oh God I recognize myself in the description of this book. I'm 51 and I struggle to commit to self help. I feel like it's too late. Think if I read this book I will collapse as it will bring home everything I hate about myself.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-10-23T15:20:40+00:00

Much of these themes come from the feminization of the west post the industrial revolution. The NMMNG book totally points this out.

And it's obvious after it was pointed out to me.

Before men had to leave the home to work in factories, boys were with their fathers, brothers, male cousins uncles toiling in the fields together. After the industrial revolution, boys were left at home to be raised by women, educated by women and thus seek the approval of women.

There is nothing wrong wanting approval of women. Women want a man out of man, not another girlfriend. A man shouldn't compromise his masculinity for that approval though. And that, gentlemen, is probably how we all ended up in divorce.

I am trying to maximize my masculinity too. I have much to work on.

capn_barnacles · 2024-10-23T15:11:05+00:00

Another good one with a similar theme: "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty".

CaliDude75 · 2024-10-23T14:59:07+00:00

I found it a lot healthier than The Rational Male, which I found a little toxic and misogynistic.

mrk177 · 2024-10-23T13:23:18+00:00

Love this book, it definitely helped me through some rough times and gave me understanding where I missing it.

Mangrove43 · 2024-10-23T13:14:57+00:00

Read Divorce Poison. I would Say it literally saved my life

EmotionSix · 2024-10-23T13:10:37+00:00

Why? What did you learn?

orussell03 · 2024-10-23T12:52:05+00:00

Another recommendation:

The manipulated man by Ester Vilar

Title	No More Mr. Nice Guy
Author	Puzzleheaded_Fun4421
Upvotes	83
Comments	31
Date	October 23, 2024 12:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ga9k2o/no_more_mr_nice_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/no-more-mr-nice-guy.1532734 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532734

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