TLDR: Stop giving away your mystery due to neediness and fear of silence.

To be more mysterious, all you need is to exhibit a little more restraint. It’s really not that deep.

The modern man has been conditioned to give away his mystery and power in the early stages. We’re told that women adore vulnerability in men.

We react in kind by projecting our romantic hopes onto strangers, by spilling emotions unnecessarily and confessing our traumas in hope of sympathy. However, this nothing more than Covert Contract-laden sympathy fishing.

These steps are common sense and serve as simple reminders.

  1. Shut the fuck up and listen more. Nice Guys a terrified of silence. They fill up the space with meaningless chatter, or turn dates into interviews. Get comfortable with silence, and actually listen to what they’re saying, instead of plotting how to keep the conversation going.

  2. Don’t be as reactive to what she says. You don’t have to laugh at every joke, or agree with everything she says. Nice Guys are afraid to be less reactive in fear of appearing like a jerk. If something she says doesn’t elicit a strong reaction, no reason to pretend.

  3. Don’t divulge all aspects of your history and personality immediately. Guys will tell a woman all of the major events of their life, and their full emotions on the first date. This is insanity. Vulnerability has to be earned slowly over time.

  4. Be more succinct and less expressive with your messaging. There’s no need to send paragraphs of text, rife with exclamation marks, spilling of feelings, and emojis. It’s not necessary.

  5. Stop being so damn available. Being evasive on purpose for a reaction is dumb. However, where men make a mistake is that they forget about their lives, obligations, career, and purpose whenever they meet a woman. It’s ok to be busy, she’ll respect you for it. Don’t drop your life for a woman.

  6. Show, don’t tell. Women are action oriented. If you have feelings for a woman, don’t barrage her with compliments, expressions of feelings, or promises. Do something thoughtful based on a passing comment she made. Lead and handle planning/logistics on dates. This will leave a far greater impact, without giving away your mystery.

https://holdyourframe.substack.com/p/how-nice-guys-can-be-more-mysterious