Are pets a dealbreaker if you're not a pet person

PenelopeSchoonmaker · 2025-03-04T01:31:26+00:00

He can hire someone to come train the dog not to jump on you, if they don’t currently respect your boyfriend enough to respond to his commands. It is definitely something you should mention now though, and stop biting your tongue about, because it’s only going to lead to burnout and resentment.

Personally, I dislike dogs, but wouldn’t give up my dream man over one, because I’m going to outlive it. If my dream man had plans to have dogs his entire life, then maybe I’d reconsider. But that’s me, you need to decide what you can tolerate.

zibabeautie · 2025-03-04T14:37:50+00:00

It’s bizarre why you’d even date someone with dogs when you don’t like them? You just set yourself up for failure.

I’m a dog person but I only like my two dogs, nobody else’s so guess what? I never dated men with dogs lmao. It’s truly simple.

Those dogs are going to become a dealbreaker. He’s not going to dump the dogs for you and you’re going to end up really resenting this man if y’all move in together.

Only thing I can suggest (that I do myself) is mark off sections of my home that my dogs aren’t allowed in. Maybe suggest that? They can’t go in the kitchen (which ew they shouldn’t anyways) or the bedroom. Maybe start training them to keep off the couch so they can be with “family” but without being on your ass. There are compromises that can be made but you will have to accept this as your new reality. And then when they pass, he will more than likely want another. Maybe that’s when you can compromise and get a very small one that’s not as in your face.

SeaMuted9754 · 2025-03-04T14:56:46+00:00

Personally I love animals and I couldn’t date someone who would make me feel I am picking between my pets and them. Not that pets are more important than them but I can’t imagine my life without animals. I think this is a conversation on how much you really dislike animals and why vs how much he loves dogs and why. Easy sit down conversation over drinks at home.

If he gets another dog depending on a dogs personality is how easy they are to train. That’s not something you can always control. Though be apart of the next dog selection will be big because in making sure it’s a mellow puppy.

Ok_Outside149 · 2025-03-04T01:15:11+00:00

I don’t like pets so it would be for me. But I would not start dating someone with pets in the first place, it’s much harder to leave now you know how great he is. How long have you been dating? If it’s not been long maybe you will get used to it. If it’s been a while and you still feel dread going over then maybe just chalk it up to an incompatibility. You can’t live like that forever. I can relate, I hate going to my friends’ houses who have dogs

CountTheBees · 2025-03-04T00:57:52+00:00

Have you tried complaining about it, telling the dog off, or asking him for tips on how to get the dog off you? If you're afraid he'll get cross with you about it then surely you should start doing what you're afraid will make him cross to see if he actually gets cross?

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2025-03-04T07:14:04+00:00

So you are currently facing two options:

A) don't complain and potentially be stressed 24/7 in your own home

B) let go of a great man because of his dog

Could you try option

C) Convey to him how much the dog issue is stressing you out and how serious it is, ask his help to find a solution, and think together how it could work long term?

Realize that this is not only about the dog, but also about your own ability to stand up for yourself, communicate your needs, and navigate issues as a couple.

OkKaleidoscope9696 · 2025-03-04T11:07:36+00:00

This is a good question. Others can advise more than I can. I wouldn’t view the dogs and dealbreaker for this guy. However, I probably would voice your concerns about the younger, hyper dog to him.

serene_brutality · 2025-03-04T17:16:26+00:00

Never move in together, it’s as simple as that. Try to spend more time at your house than his, and let him know why if he notices. Obviously state it as tactfully as you can. It might be the end of you, but if it’s gonna happen because of the dogs then it’s gonna happen, better now than later when feelings are stronger.

thestoryofbitbit · 2025-03-04T03:55:12+00:00

Do you want to have children with this man? Think about the impact of dogs on a future home that includes babies and children--will it be safe for them? Will you feel up to the task of taking care of the dogs in addition to your human children?

I adore dogs in general, but I have to say that after I gave birth to my first child I began to despise my dog. It was really unfair because he was just being a dog!! But all the work involved in meeting his needs on top of being a mom (breastfeeding, keeping the house extremely clean, keeping the house quiet during nap times etc.) just felt impossible. My brother ended up taking the dog and it all worked out okay. But I couldn't handle the stress of parenting and having a dog in the house--I think the hormonal/protective nature of mothering just sent me over the edge about it.

If you don't plan on having kids, this seems manageable. But if you want babies before the dogs are realistically going to pass away from old age, give it a hard think.

sunshyneshanny · 2025-03-04T01:05:58+00:00

Watch some Cesar Milan & implement boundaries with calm assertiveness 👍🏻 it is actually good for dogs & it is good for you (also good for children for the future 👍🏻)

ActuallyASwordfish · 2025-03-04T10:00:54+00:00

I’m gonna go on a different branch and say while you don’t love or seem to enjoy dogs, if you do love him I would not voice this issue.

The dog is short term, most live to be like 10 at the maximum depending on the size. Idk how old the dogs are. Also the dog is excited because you don’t live there. If you lived there the excitement would die down and it would start to just ignore you.

He obviously does love dogs. You’re basically saying “choose me over something you obviously love” which doesn’t feel right to me. Making him choose seems really cruel especially after seeing each other for almost a year. You could’ve and probably should’ve ended the relationship sooner if you disliked the idea of dogs. In fact it seems like you don’t want the relationship and you’re just now looking for an out but can’t find one because he is a great guy… so you’re blaming the dog?

Also as a person who has a dog due to my husband (he loves the dog and I am more meh about it) it’s actually grown on me. The dog is super kind to our daughters. We have a built in security system. He basically cleans the baby food messes up before I get a chance to vacuum. Everyday my daughter talks about how the dog is her best friend and loves her the most. The dog is sometimes part of every man’s home fantasy.

If you had a cat, or whatever, for years and then your partner said, “We’ve been dating for several months and I’d like you to get rid of this creature that you love to be with me, someone who hasn’t even given you children or been with you as long simply because they like me too much.” To me it just feels not at all like the right way to handle the situation. Especially if you’re saying you wanna be with him.

The dog will eventually if you move in together settle down. You’re just new and exciting for now. Hell once you live together you can get it more training and your SO might even think the moon of that. I feel that voicing this will make you seem like a bitch (pardon the French) and lead him to dump you. I know several men who have dumped women for their pets, because in their eyes the lack of acceptance of their pets is actually a kind of a shit test. They see it as the woman testing how much control she has over her man etc etc… if you hate dogs and you know he’s a dog person leave. Don’t try and change him.

AutoModerator · 2025-03-04T00:42:14+00:00

Title: Are pets a dealbreaker if you're not a pet person

Author imnot1234

Full text: Hi, I'm 30f. I am currently dating the man of my dreams, kind, understanding, smart, protective, and we are discussing marriage in the next year.

One huge incompatibility is that he has dogs that are somewhat well trained. One dog is obsessed with me, and it leaves me exhausted and I feel so much relief whenever I am not at his place.

I am just not a dog person, and he loves them. He is understanding of my needs when I say I don't want them on me 24/7. But idk if I want to feel a dread coming home because I can't "relax" at home ever, or that I'll feel if I keep telling the dog, get off me, my bf will also be frustrated at me.

I love him more than I dislike the dogs around me, but i also just can't lie to myself to suck it up when I know I don't want to live with dogs.

I just want to scream so im venting here. What should I do..

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Ok_Lychee1258 · 2025-03-04T18:51:41+00:00

It is unlikely that you will end up finding someone 100% perfect. Having to settle for dogs seems like a pretty small downside to the whole relationship. If you are talking marriage, these are your dogs too now. Learn how to interact with them and train them in a way that makes you comfortable. Try learning to accept them. If you can't accept this now, are you going to be able to accept someone with kids as years go on (which are permanent) or flaws that your current man doesn't have? Remember you have agency. If you don't like the behavior, you can always do something about it. Train it. Also, talk with him about his future pet choices. If he plans on getting other dogs after these ones?

MoreThanPurple · 2025-03-04T01:13:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kitchen_Excuse8832 · 2025-03-04T14:21:36+00:00

Sounds like you made a voluntary and coherent terrible choice by getting with someone you know lives a life incongruous to your. If you leave now, you would definitely be the bad guy (and definitely doing it to yourself). Most red pill women that I know of are traditional and want kids. Understandably, dogs and children are not the same. However, if you want kids and think dogs are bad, you're in for a rude awakening. 😂 You can learn to like the dogs just like people can learn to like people they don't initially like. If you're open minded that is. If you love and support your partner that also includes his life.

If you're taking your issues to the Internet, you have your answer. You saw a bed of roses surrounded by shit and still chose to step in it. Why go this far into it and consider marriage just to destroy it because of a small inconvenience in the grand scheme of things?

Edit: you can also interact with the dog and train it yourself. If you think dogs should just know how to behave without engagement, you're just as bad as the circumstances your proposing

Title	Are pets a dealbreaker if you're not a pet person
Author	imnot1234
Upvotes	13
Comments	49
Date	March 4, 2025 12:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1j2yasu/are_pets_a_dealbreaker_if_youre_not_a_pet_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/are-pets-a-dealbreaker-if-youre-not-a-pet-person.1545553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545553

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