Would a man seek a lifelong relationship with a woman who has kids?

NoAntelope2026 · 2025-04-03T03:40:50+00:00

I entered a committed relationship with a mother of two children. I treated the children as my own and devoted myself to their care and upbringing. Mother still kicked me out after 13 years. Now I have no relationship and I miss the children terribly. It's a bad deal for a man.

lastlaugh100 · 2025-04-03T03:34:04+00:00

How about dating a single dad of two kids?

NiceParkJob · 2025-04-03T03:20:21+00:00

Honestly, i would rather have a serious relationship with a woman who doesnt have kids. I really hate the idea of breaking up after being emotionally attached to the other partners kids. It can be very hard on young kids. Also, if its a bad breakup i will have to pay child support aswell as spousal support(as a stepfather). She would have to be very special for me to consider a relationship. That is just my honest opinion as a healthy 32 year old single dude.

Yamariv1 · 2025-04-03T03:19:09+00:00

Nope

Tumor_with_eyes · 2025-04-03T04:06:43+00:00

Some guys will. I don’t think most Men will.

I wouldn’t.

Inreflectdan · 2025-04-03T04:48:08+00:00

All I’m gonna say is good luck

Salty-Safety-9195 · 2025-04-03T03:22:38+00:00

🙅

Both-Ad-9225 · 2025-04-03T12:15:10+00:00

There'd be conditions 1. Don't expect me to be a surrogate father 2. On our dates,, don't expect me to pay for both you and your kids dinner 3 I'm an adult also, so if I get disrespected by them in anyway and I have to correct them, don't go against me .

Darklubrix · 2025-04-03T13:01:48+00:00

what do you mean with
"Are there healthy men out there who would be willing to date a single mom or have a serious relationship with her?"

what is healthy? Am I wrong in thinking that if I example would not date you, then I am not healthy, then I am unhealthy and should become healthy (date a single mother) ? because if so, then this is just shaming men.

I don't know if this is a serious question or not?

edit: Am I willing to date a single mother, well that depends entirely on what she expects of me? ... the question is "make it worth it"

JACSliver · 2025-04-03T14:03:55+00:00

It depends on the man. I, for one, would not seek a relationship unless she wants to have kids with me.

AnxiousTurtleDuck · 2025-04-03T15:24:58+00:00

I’ve attempted dating women with kids before. It rarely yields good results.

My first date with a single mom brought her kid along. I totally understood her situation and knew good sitters were expensive. Then, I got screamed at for trying to connect with her kid through Pokémon. Apparently, she didn’t want her kids being influenced by Japanese culture even though she knew I was an avid anime fan.

Another woman, with two kids, went behind my back and spoke with my ex girlfriend. My ex has bad psychological issues and a myriad of charges on Case-net for stalking, harassment, and abuse. She told my date a plethora of lies about me and my date ultimately stoped speaking with me “just to keep her kids safe.”

Long story short; It’s hardly worth our time. If they’re not controlling, they’re too skittish. I doubt all women are like this, but when the odds are so high why should men take that risk? I can’t even imagine what men go through when the relationship gets more serious.

gopu-adks · 2025-04-03T04:42:11+00:00

You're in the wrong sub.

AdSpecial7366 · 2025-04-03T11:52:28+00:00

How is this related to MensRights?

bifewova234 · 2025-04-03T04:05:22+00:00

My dad left when I was 3. My mom had several boyfriends over the years and they didnt suck.

Qantourisc · 2025-04-03T05:48:29+00:00

There are a lot of downsides, she better be worth it.

laselma · 2025-04-03T06:56:02+00:00

I wouldn't even date prime Bar Rafaeli with 2 kids.

flowingwisdom13 · 2025-04-03T06:33:43+00:00

Men: pay attention to the shaming with the use of “healthy”. If you ain’t dating a single mom, it’s because you ain’t graduated to healthy male status

The_SHUN · 2025-04-03T03:22:57+00:00

Never, doesn’t matter how many green flags they carry, I ain’t taking care of someone else’s kid, and single moms always carry some form of baggage, sorry.

Mixed_cruelty · 2025-04-03T03:24:46+00:00

be a decent person try to be open to it and take good care of a man who does decide to and you should be ok. A good woman can make life better. Definitely wait a bit though if you’re still in the process of a divorce. Thats gonna be a tough sell

hustlors · 2025-04-03T12:13:09+00:00

Hard pass

butterspread1 · 2025-04-03T12:14:38+00:00

NoSpinach4025 · 2025-04-03T12:15:09+00:00

Nightwynd · 2025-04-03T04:16:42+00:00

I'm a single dad with an autistic kid. Yes I'd date a single mom. Take a year or two to get yourself right and ready to date. See a therapist. Wish I had, but didn't have anybody to push me to it. I've learned.

This-Top7398 · 2025-04-03T03:11:17+00:00

Probably not but I could be wrong though

Iamscaredofpeople69 · 2025-04-03T03:46:04+00:00

Im sure it can happen . Some guys might not be bothered by the kids and might even empathise or sympathise with your situation. Just keep in with life I guess and the right person might come along.

RevelationSr · 2025-04-03T10:25:11+00:00

PIF_Daddy · 2025-04-03T10:56:10+00:00

Nah.

Tiger4ever89 · 2025-04-03T11:53:26+00:00

The question begs for generalization. i would rather ask ''would i date myself knowing how i am and what situation i am in?'' if you are a decent person, and the answer is (YES) than i see no issue... course some men wouldn't date single moms for that specific or more reasons.. but generalization is never the case.

redditme1 · 2025-04-03T18:17:23+00:00

Absolutely not.

redspikedog · 2025-04-03T05:51:40+00:00

Unfortunetly, a man would prefer a woman fresh out of the box who he can call all his with his own original beautiful craft and creations, or kids. Not take care of something that isn't even his.

There is no benefit of any kind taking care of someone else kids. I see none biological children as "I wanted him for sex and his children, but you for daddy bank account and security". It almost feels like your wife or girlfriend cheated on you before even dating you and now you have to take care of her mistakes. This is how I see it.

I have met so many women who were single mothers and they had interest in me, but I turned them down just for having kids. I can't do it, I have to respect myself. It makes me look like a less valuable man. I also would hate to get divided attention between a little cock blocker and me, let alone spend money on the child. Worse, I already know, hell, us men already know that the biological dad is STILL IN THE PICTURE and the mom will sleep with him behind my back to get something out of him. She can say otherwise, but we all know that a woman will do "anything" for her kids.

If I had a wife who died and had 2 children, I think it would only be fair to stay single or find a new wife that has 2 of her own. I think that would even out the playing field.

I will not have kids until I have more than a million in my bank account, incase one passes away. I don't want another wife. I don't want my wife to suffer either if I were to pass away. I want my kids to grow up with who I think will be a great mother.

Wololo2502 · 2025-04-03T07:19:54+00:00

Find a guy in the same situation.

hendrixski · 2025-04-03T11:04:15+00:00

I married a single mom. I was a single father with primary custody. She had sole custody. The marriage is great but being a stepfather is the worst disappointment. I was excited to be a stepfather and now I advise young men to avoid it at all costs.

My son had very positive expectations of what a stepmother was. He was very open to it. My stepdaughter had heard one story after another about stepfathers being bad. She didn't see me as who I am for the first 2 or so years, instead she superimposed some popular narrative of what I'm supposed to be. It's a little bit better now but she's a teenager now and that's just a rough age for other reasons.

The systematic sexism against men in the media does ruin prospects for stepfathers. AND there's no awareness of this dynamic among single mothers so they're not allies upfront and thus don't know to provide the support required for stepfathers to be seen as people by the kids. It's heartbreaking. I do not recommend stepfatherhood to anyone.

jcruz18 · 2025-04-03T11:06:42+00:00

The truth is yes but only if you lower your standards.

Clan-Destin · 2025-04-03T12:21:51+00:00

I dated a woman who had 3 children from three different fathers, I loved the children like my own, I was there for each of them including the mother, I helped her get training to be able to work at home, I took the children to school and sports, I took them on weekends and vacations and I made sure that the fathers came back to see their children

In the end she got back together with one of her exes and I had less than 3 days to leave the house, despite the children's disagreement, despite the fact that I did everything for them. I didn't just lose my relationship with her but with all of them

I found out not long ago that she did some shit and lost custody of the kids, fought with her ex and the training I paid for her was for nothing.

Yes I did everything for her, for them, no I wouldn't do it again.

I think this question should not be posted here but in a general forum, rightly or wrongly

AirSailer · 2025-04-03T16:23:57+00:00

There are plenty of men out there who are open to being in a relationship with a single mother of two kids. Unfortunately for you, they aren't the type of men you are willing to date.

redspikedog · 2025-04-03T05:58:21+00:00

ME ME ME ME!!!

UsedBeing · 2025-04-03T13:10:59+00:00

My wife was a single mother. After being married for 30 years and I love my stepson, we went through some really rough times. We are in a great place, but the journey was tough and we went through some bad, bad times. For me, it was worth it because my stepson has ended up being a great man and my wife of 30 years has been a warrior and my rock. It is possible, but I only had to deal with one kid, and the more you have makes it a little more difficult to find someone. Ask yourself if you would allow the man to discipline your children. That was a problem between my wife and I at times and it came close to undoing us at times. I would say it was possible for you to find someone but it might not be easy. I do wish you luck, it worked out great for me, but the journey was not one I’d like to repeat.

Main_Avocado_8545 · 2025-04-03T16:36:33+00:00

Nope, nope, and nope.

PuzzleheadedSlide774 · 2025-04-03T20:02:21+00:00

Personally single mom is the dealbreaker, I don’t want to take care of another man’s children and the ex to be still around somehow. It’s the case for a lot of childless single guys from what I’ve seen, especially younger ones.

I think the best option is a guy who’s a single dad honestly.

PieceOfPie3000 · 2025-04-03T04:19:45+00:00

I’d be okay with it.

aerial_coitus · 2025-04-03T06:28:22+00:00

Nope. Wrong sub.

alwaysvulture · 2025-04-03T06:33:44+00:00

I never thought I would but then I met my partner and we were just 100% right for each other. We clicked right away and it didn’t matter about the kids.

jack_avram · 2025-04-03T12:42:09+00:00

The problem today is that even relationships without children have become extraordinarily more difficult, largely due to the steady erosion of values like family, community, decency, and honest communication. While modern society may be more accepting of broken families, human nature hasn’t changed. There’s a growing disconnect—a widening gap—between our deep-rooted human prospects and vitality and the more alien values this society increasingly seems to represent.

Still, have faith—there’s always someone out there who’s willing. Too often, we grow jaded and forget the power of simply opening ourselves to more windows of opportunity. In a digitally distracted world, we’re ironically less exposed to genuine human connection. We’re caught in filters, perceptions, and algorithm-driven polarizations that pull us further from our natural state of being.

szopongebob · 2025-04-03T17:58:20+00:00

I wouldn’t consider it

redspikedog · 2025-04-03T04:26:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

L0RIR0 · 2025-04-03T05:40:40+00:00

Not a man either, but I do know where you’re coming from.

First of all - it’s too early to be thinking of that if you’re not even divorced yet.

Focus on the children and the transition they too are going through, work & then work some more, and heal your wounds -including trying to understand why did you pick & stayed with that kind of man-.

As time goes by, maybe he too will self reflect and you two will manage to have a decent coparenting dynamic for the sake of the kids’ emotional health.

That whole process took many, many, years for me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m raising boys, so it was more than important for me to be 100% there for them, instead of parading random dudes.

It was just as important to know that when I’ll be ready to start dating, I’d be able to provide my partner with the time, focus & attention he deserves.

And that he’ll be my partner, not a sponsor and definitely not a “casual dad” for my kids.

So while it’s too early to be thinking of that, despite what the internet might tell you, there are great single dads out there and/or men that aren’t against dating single moms. It’s a preference, after all, and everyone has the right to have theirs.

Good luck & don’t skip essential steps!

sgtm7 · 2025-04-03T05:54:22+00:00

When I was young, I either went with at least 5 years older, or those with a kid. The reason was because childless women my age, were too immature for me. In my older age, the chances of finding a childless woman was pretty slim to none.

Gleichstellung4084 · 2025-04-03T15:17:19+00:00

I can give you my perspective. I assume you are looking for a healthy relationship, i.e. one that is not creating confrontations with your children and one that fulfils you personally.

The option with a "good man" is open with good chances, if this man has excluded the possibility of children from his life (which is also depending on age). This way... he gets a "prefabricated family, with the key in the ignition".

If this man has his own children, logic and several commenters here say, that it will be easier to make it work. Nonetheless, in my own opinion there are way too many moving parts, so the "lifelong" part becomes quite more difficult.

You would have to be sustainable on your own in the basic scenario and also preserve some energy for the man (i.e. take some time to look nice, address his needs etc).

If that helps you, all men dating out there have previously met single mothers.

On top of that, a woman with children also has some benefits (on top of the problems she carries) on the dating market compared to one without.

Careful-Ruin-44 · 2025-04-03T17:56:28+00:00

I understand the majority say no, but it did work out well for me. I was a divorced dad with full custody of my two boys. I met and ultimately married a divorced mom with two children. That was 36 years ago and I have an excellent relationship with my stepdaughter - she always introduces me as her father and I walked her down the aisle (along with her bio dad) when she married. I now have a super close relationship with two teenage step-grandsons. It worked out really well for me - but this may be the exception rather than the rule.

Title	Would a man seek a lifelong relationship with a woman who has kids?
Author	Dimijada12
Upvotes	1
Comments	67
Date	April 3, 2025 3:06 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jq7qah/would_a_man_seek_a_lifelong_relationship_with_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/would-a-man-seek-a-lifelong-relationship-with-a.1548476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548476

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