It’s been about 14 months. I’ve made it this far and was doing ok, but I’m kind of freaking out. I’ve increased my drinking and done some dumb stuff like drinking in the car. I’m scared I’m going to do something really dumb. I know my son is worried when he sees me drink. I usually don’t when he is with me. The last few weekends have been benders.

I can’t get basic stuff done in the apartment. I’m so sad for my boys and the pain my wife must be in. I have no history of addiction, no infidelity. She just said it was a toxic relationship. I do struggle with depression and have gained so much weight. Just can’t seem to get a hold of things. The divorce is always lurking in the background. I go to therapy and am on meds and luckily like my job, but this fear and hopelessness keep coming up. I hope others of you on here are doing well.

Take Care.