Not Going to Make It

Easy-Historian5376 · 2025-06-20T01:10:45+00:00

She might have BPD

roshi-roshi · 2025-06-17T03:04:03+00:00

No one is that powerful to ruin someone else’s life. I swear our exes were dealing with family of origin stuff and years of resentment they ever brought up.

Remarkable-Bit-8029 · 2025-06-16T19:47:08+00:00

Hey I've messaged you in chat a couple of times. Xx

divorceCourtisABiz · 2025-06-16T02:00:51+00:00

If you are paying child support, nobody going to arrest you. You need to start with rebuilding your confidence. That fear will destroy. Its not your POS wife that will kill you. Please find it within you to realize that youre not scared any longer. Once you do that, you can progress and further your recovery. We have spoken before. I deleted my account thinking i am done with reddit after my recovery was complete. I am back again. I am sad to see youre still in the thick of it.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-06-14T23:35:52+00:00

The answer is and always will be gym. Join one that is open 24/7.

Everytime you think of your ex go lift. Everytime you think of picking up the bottle go lift. Everytime you think of eating processed food go lift. Everytime you lay awake at night and can't sleep go lift.

Every divorced guy I see that joins my gym always starts off rough. After 2 years without fail they all end up jacked AF, have an attractive playmate they bring to workout with them, and have huge smiles plastered on their faces.

Il_Valentino · 2025-06-14T09:55:04+00:00

first of all do yourself and your kids a favor and take care of yourself. get some fresh air and go jogging, this will help clear up your mind and get some much needed dopamine into your brain. next thing is you should realize, according to your statements, that you did NOT fail your family. your wife failed your family. your only mistake was to believe in marriage but everyone does mistakes. you've hopefully learned your lesson that modern marriage is a trap, that vows are just empty promises and that courts spit on husbands/fathers. lastly your wife is probably not a "sociopath", she is just a selfish human being, as most humans are. The difference is that men extend their selfish desire to protect both their kids and wives, women only have a natural self-interest for their kids.

keencone · 2025-06-14T06:30:06+00:00

Whether she’s a sociopath or not doesn’t matter dude, and you’re going to drive yourself crazy 4realz and/or leave your children fatherless unless you find some pathways to get your mind off of it… get back in touch with some real shit that involves your body and the natural world.

If nothing else, take a moment to acknowledge that you feel stuck in an infinite swamp of despair and consider it might get worse.
Just keep slogging, that’s a win sometimes. You won’t be in this shit forever but is sure does feel like that when you’re there

Spared-No-Expense · 2025-06-14T05:25:14+00:00

I'm also 17 months on — to the day — from when she first dropped the bomb. The reason you have no closure is because you have no answers. I spied, poked, and prodded like Sherlock Holmes, and don't regret a second of it. If I hadn't, I would still think she was the angel I will regret my whole life that I let slip away — instead of learning how evil she really was (and perhaps many women are — and very, very likely your ex-wife too) — which makes it much easier to move on, and to realize your life is going to be so much better once you heal and either find someone who actually cares about you (at least for the first couple years or months), or find that you don't really need that anyway. The marriage was a facade and your spouse was a literal stranger who lived with you for many years. Would you really want to extend that another 30-40 years, just to give your children the mirage of a happy mom and dad, and make grandchildren visits more logistically simplified, and more picturesque? How often do you even see your own parents and them your children? We're talking about less 5% of the time, or even less. Why live a fake life for 95% of your waking hours just to make that last 5% more similar to a family sitcom? Do you have 50-50? Make it count when you're with them — love, fun, listening, parenting. And make it count when you're not — self improvement, making money, and doing all the kinky shit you fantasized about your wife doing but she never even came close.

bopapocolypse · 2025-06-14T05:22:39+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is a hard road to travel, and there are good days and bad days. It’s going to take time and a lot of work, but if you put your energy in the correct places, you will gradually detach from the emotions around your divorce. What your ex-partner does and thinks will matter less and less. You will accept that you may never get the answers you want. You won’t be negatively triggered by memories. Your anxiety will decrease, and you will feel like yourself again. But all of this requires you to be proactive.

I worry so much about my kids.

Put them in front of everything you do. They need you more than ever and it’s your responsibility to be the best possible version of yourself for their sake. Keep your thoughts and actions focused on their wellbeing.

am slowly killing myself with food and alcohol on the weekends.

You need to take steps to address this immediately. It might be creating new, healthy routines to replace unhealthy ones. It might be seeking help from trusted family or friends. It might be talking to a therapist. But breaking this cycle is critical to your physical and mental wellbeing. And, unlike other areas of the divorce process, this is something you can control.

I wish you luck. Hang in there and feel free to DM if you want to talk more.

MrWorker2030 · 2025-06-14T05:17:12+00:00

No she’s doing what society and social media expects nowadays from her. Choosing an opportunity, regardless of the consequences.

Women these days are entitled to do everything they want. They can do anything without fearing for negative consequences or financial repercussions. The media tell a woman she has a high sexual market value, even she is jabba the hut. This environment was well constructed to reduce men to an ATM. Nothing will change her way of thinking: “I’m doing the right thing!” Nothing! I repeat: Nothing!!! This is a brainwash that started in her childhood. Her way of thinking is also well constructed and not free.

The cause can be everything what she sees a benefit in. Normally an other man is the cause. Women leave for a better life (something new) even if everyone can tell it’s a bad choice! Her nature is driving her! Her decision can be the worst possible way for the people around but she will never take a step back! This process started half a year ago. Women play the role until the time is right!

The only way to make it through is to stay strong and loyal to your kids. You have to wait until they want answers. Maybe she will cause some reasons that you will get them back. Don’t do things that will take the respect of your children from you!

Warning: if her plans doesn’t work out, she will tell you that she wants you back! (But only until she can do this stunt again). Don’t believe it. Or take countermeasures.

Even if it’s living hell: Be there for your kids!

nonotmeporfavor · 2025-06-14T05:04:43+00:00

This is tough to read because I can completely understand. When someone just changes course without any real reasons other than they chose to do it differently. I don’t think that any outside circumstance will make it better. You gotta dive into yourself that’s the purpose of all of this. The purpose of your situation is to teach you that only you are going to save you. No one is coming to save you. Here’s the truth, you don’t need anyone you don’t need your children. You don’t need your ex-wife but what you do need is you. You need to know who you are and you need to know that you are safe and that you’re there for yourself. You’ll be OK you’ll get through this. Prioritize your sleep, get some sun and stop running from yourself. You’re not going to die for what you’re feeling is a spiritual death. You’re dying to yourself you’re dying to your past and you’re dying to your future which means all you have left is the present and what you decide to do with it.

You’re not alone and there’s a lot of of us who have felt this pain. Learn to love yourself and that’s all you’ll ever need.

Stop drinking alcohol. You got this!

Title	Not Going to Make It
Author	roshi-roshi
Upvotes	16
Comments	30
Date	June 14, 2025 4:44 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lb0ad8/not_going_to_make_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-going-to-make-it.1554869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554869

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