Some trans men are so in denial it makes me mad

rocksnstyx · 2025-05-16T17:38:05+00:00

Theres a reason there are vastly more trans women than trans men.

UltramanGinga · 2025-05-16T09:02:43+00:00

Nora Vincent killed herself after 11 months of trying to date as a man. She was convinced men live life on eaay mode.

throwaweigh96 · 2025-05-16T14:50:11+00:00

I actually kinda feel for trans guys because they're signing up for what's essentially the life equivalent of a naked Dark Souls run with no weapon.

They don't get the physical benefits that come with being a man, and they lose whatever social benefits they had as a woman— the latter being worse depending on how much they "pass."

JudgementalChair · 2025-05-16T12:23:57+00:00

I have a cousin AFAB who started the transition to male. They made it approximately 3/4 of the way through transitioning, had multiple surgeries to appear more masculine, did HRT for 2+ years. They started going be he/him pronouns for a short period of time, then like you say, OP, did a complete 180.

They now identify as non-binary, they're engaged to a cis male who's a really great guy, and they essentially live their life and represent themselves as female but use they/them pronouns.

I've talked with them a few times about why the pull back because for years, they were hardcore about transitioning, and their response was that, they really struggled with the affects of testosterone therapy, like overwhelmed at times by how it hit their system. They also didn't outright say it but alluded to the fact that their peer group's behavior changed towards them during that period of time. Their long time friends were supportive, but people in their age group who didn't know them well, perceived them as male and treated them differently than how they had grown up accustomed to being treated, and as surprise to no one here, they did not like the way they were treated when they were perceived as male.

I love my cousin, but it does kind of make me sad because they truly believed men had it easy and they wanted to be male so bad, but they got a harsh reality check after making irreversible alterations to their body. I'm just really happy that they found a nice and understanding guy that truly cares about them

panickimg · 2025-05-16T14:57:59+00:00

Trans man here. I saw some trans men like that and it was infuriating. I know misandry is real, I've seen it in real life and online. I've felt it myself and I know it is. It's so hypocritical to hate men for things that women also do. Because that's usually the case, they hate for the stupidest things. Of course there are bad horrible men, but there are bad horrible women also wtf. I don't understand why they think all men are assholes. It's like they ignore what good men can do and only think about us when something bad happens. And this goes for all the people —don't matter gender—hating men. It's always the same because they deny men being seen as a soulless human being when we just need love and empathy for everyone.

LumpyAbbreviations24 · 2025-05-16T16:17:18+00:00

The amount of propaganda some people go through is mind blowing

Negative_Leather_572 · 2025-05-16T08:50:59+00:00

I'm a trans dude and uh yeah I was groomed by multiple women and still get told I'm lucky. I'm a white dude too.

Xel2024 · 2025-05-16T18:18:45+00:00

That's gotta be the most hilarious and ironic reality check...

greysterguy · 2025-05-16T14:28:12+00:00

Watching other trans men say things about hating men is... interesting, for sure.

I think transitioning only drove me further down this path. Like - wow, guys do have it pretty rough.

And while I think transandrophobia is real, I think there are two types of it. There's the ways that trans men specifically are discriminated against in society and by transphobes, and there's the way trans men are rejected by groups within the LGBT community, if that makes sense.

Like, for example, it's not an uncommon experience for a trans man's LGBT friends to be supportive at first, but once the guy starts medically transitioning, those same friends starts pulling back, because he's a "gross man" now. This is both transandrophobia and misandry. In fact, transandrophobia was initially called transmisandry, but people would get so caught up screeching "misandry isn't real!!!" that they wouldn't listen to any of the actual points, so the term was changed.

Ultimately, transandrophobia usually stems from either transphobia or misandry, just aimed specifically at trans men. I don't think it's an invalid term, but I think it should absolutely be recognized that most intra-community transandrophobia absolutely stems from misandry, which is both real and a problem.

No_Taro_6903 · 2025-05-16T09:27:53+00:00

What absolutely INFURIATES me is that it's absolutely fine when women are being men. They are free to be men basically with zero issues But the minute men want that pussy privilege. No. Evil man. It's just so funny everything turns into male hatred, just look at the immigrants, whilst I don't want them coming here either, calling them all rapists, murderers just because they are all male is another one. And men don't face discrimination 🤬

Disastrous_Tie_8259 · 2025-05-16T09:59:44+00:00

They think they have it easy, but in reality, they are classified as people with (gender) identity disorder. The suicide rate among trans men is insanely high compared to normal women. It's crazy.

mrmensplights · 2025-05-17T18:15:10+00:00

Cognitive dissonance.

They have a very ideological and unrealistic world view deeply interwoven with their identity and reinforced by peer groups. When faced with evidence that their world view is deeply flawed and incorrect they can do one of two things:

First, they could begin the difficult process of reevaluating their core beliefs, restructuring their world view brick by painful brick, rediscovering themselves free of the ideology and reforming their very identity, while likely losing and having to find a new support system and peer group - and doing it all alone after having already undergone a radical physical transformation.

OR. They could just perform some mental gymnastics and "Not Not Not" themselves into a concept like transandrophobia. This let's them keep the ideology, keep the identity, and keep the tribe. They may even be able to turn it into increased status among their peer group due the nature of the ideology.

Very few people have the strength of character to go with the former when they are already so deep in.

Real_Fennel165 · 2025-05-17T01:24:39+00:00

being a biological male is worse imo because you never get to go back and experience the benefits of being a girl. it’s like a naruto sasuke situation of what’s worse, having that and losing it, or never having it to begin with.

DecrepitAbacus · 2025-05-17T05:46:34+00:00

A good friend of my niece from decades ago when they were teenagers has flipped several times now. "They" are also a long time client in my tax work. I do look forward to seeing "them" each year but I'll have to wait until next tax season to find out "their" current incarnation.

Negative-Trust4691 · 2025-05-16T17:29:46+00:00

If you pick apart what is happening in a ''transman's'' brain, then you realize it's just autoandrophilia 80% of the time. They may start taking hormones and want to larp as men (it's a fetish for them), but deep inside, they will always retain female thinking structures. They will eternaly think as women do.

They will settle with the side that empowers them the most, moral or not. It's a callback to woman's agreeableness. Hence why they will never be (real, biological) men.

Whole-Initiative8162 · 2025-05-16T12:53:38+00:00

The whole trans ideology is built on sexism. They literally have 1940's sexist propaganda on their flags. The trans ideology is the belief that being or atleast seen as your biological sex is inherently wrong.

SleepParalysisKing · 2025-05-16T15:01:49+00:00

I’m a trans male and I’ve never heard of this in my life. Most trans men I know just call it misandry. What the hell is transandrophobia lmao that’s the stupidest term I’ve ever heard

plainoldusernamehere · 2025-05-16T18:55:40+00:00

Stop calling women trans men.

Electrical_Disk_1160 · 2025-05-16T14:27:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ffynidwydd · 2025-05-16T10:19:12+00:00

what "transdropphobia" means? /genq I have never heard it yet. I only seen "transandrophobia" as a synonym for transmisandry. Is it misprint?

MarionADelgado · 2025-05-17T04:29:28+00:00

Just so you know, the anti-women stuff comes from the long period of feudalism, and into the Renaissance. In that period, men were presumed to be trying to be chivalrous, diligent, and above all pure and faithful, and whoops, lo and behold these Daughters of Eve come along and tempt us towards evil.

But the vital momentum for feminism comes out of the Victorian era, where women were assumed to want to be chaste until marriage, civic minded, the more useful parent, and many other positive things. But whoops, lo and behold, these ravaging beasts, these Sons of Adam, come along and ruin good women. Repeatedly.

Yes, nth-Wave feminism tended to exaggerate the anti-male stuff, but the real issue is a legacy of tradition, ironically enough.

BluedHaze · 2025-05-16T17:10:56+00:00

I think that's an extremely small minority of transmen and most, if not all, of this is on the internet. I'm a transman myself and know many in my irl community. None of us are that way at all in person. To be fair, where I live plays a huge role in how well trans individuals do in my community (people here get access to a lot of professional help during transition and access to support groups as well for free).

I think this is a symptom of some people being chronically online due to isolation and being easily influenced/manipulated. Unfortunately for them, it alienates them even more from themselves as men and alienates them from their own community (other transmen and allies).

I don't think people like this have a good support system in place during transition and it ends up harming them and leaving them isolated. They are the people left behind, leaving them vulnerable to extremist thoughts and ideologies.

This is just why I think this is happening to that specific group.

Title	Some trans men are so in denial it makes me mad
Author	Electrical_Disk_1160
Upvotes	627
Comments	132
Date	May 16, 2025 8:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1knw1cu/some_trans_men_are_so_in_denial_it_makes_me_mad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/some-trans-men-are-so-in-denial-it-makes-me-mad.1552325 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552325

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