Dying for answers lol

chips_and_hummus · 2025-05-21T20:25:02+00:00

Because they don’t have to worry about you trying to make a move, they’re taken. There is no risk of you interpreting things incorrectly because you should know not to hit on someone who is taken. So they can just be a normal friendly person. A single girl who is uninterested is less likely to be fully nice and friendly because guys confuse that for flirting and make unwanted moves on them. To avoid that they have more of a guard up.

topher_atx · 2025-05-21T21:04:33+00:00

How old are you? I think I can maybe help you... I did really well with women when I was around 17 or 18 years old. I'm 38 now, and only in hindsight do I see why I did well: My junior year of high school I joined the wrestling team and started lifting weights for wrestling. This did two things. One it burned fat from all the cardio and trying to make certain weight classes, and two it built muscle. I accidentally got lean & mean and the ladies noticed! Later when I put on a little fat, and maybe stopped lifting, attention from women vanished. Now looking back I can see I did well lean & mean, but when I reverted back to a more average physique interest would disappear. Luckily at 38, I'm back in peak condition and could make my old high school wrestling weight again.

Moral of the story: Start getting DEXA scans, and try to get to 10-15% body fat percentage. Count calories everyday, and weigh yourself everyday. And lift weights everyday as well, even if you're cutting so you don't lose muscle. Getting lean and adding muscle makes you more sexually dimorphic or "manly." Its a scientific way to increase your sex appeal.

With that being said, you're going to want to wear clothes that show off your physique. If you wear big baggy t-shirts ladies won't know you look good naked. So you need to wear premium t-shirts that fit fairly snugly and are form fitting. They don't have to be ridiculously tight, but tight enough women can see you've got pecs and nice shoulders, and maybe the sleeves hug your biceps.

If you're young, college age, or early 20s, social circle is important. So make sure to make school friends, work friends, etc.

Just know, it will still be tough even after you're in shape. Young women get an overwhelming amount of attention. But young women also have a lot of competition from the other hot young women. So if you get yourself in peak physical condition, the ladies will notice, and one of them will scoop you up eventually.

Loud_Contract_689 · 2025-05-21T21:31:30+00:00

I noticed the same thing. Super friendly girls are the ones who aren't attracted to me at all. The ones who ignore and avoid me turn out to have a secret crush on me.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-21T21:41:38+00:00

Because taken women aren't in the game so they are more relaxed and not in "asses this guy" mode. They also get an ego boost from male attention and it also aligns with their primal mate-switching strategy, which consists on keeping men orbiting around, just in case as a backup plan, even if they are in happy relationships.

They are not neccesarily thinking of cheating, but they are also not burning bridges, because they know it's important to hedge just in case, even if you are not too attractive for them.

Women who are single however are in "asses this guy" mode, so they are more likely to be more picky or more selective. Meaning that they are more likely to test you more, challange you more, to see what type of man you are quickly before wasting any more time on the "wrong" guy.

- I'm not the best conversation starter, so for me, it's very difficult to talk to them if I tried to because I'd have to carry that conversation. It's way easier for me if the girl actually has something to say or talk about.

Unfortunately for you, this means you have to learn. You can't just settle for hoping the girl carries the conversation because when they carry the conversation, it never leads towards something romantic or sexual, they lead the conversation towards platonic territory. As a man it's your job to lead the interaction, and lead towards romantic and sexual territory if you don't want to get friendzone.

Also note, that just because she is taken does not mean that a guy can't pull her. In my experience, taken women are way easier to seduce than single ones, not because they carry the conversation though, but because the danger of being caught combined with problems in their relationship makes it a potent cocktail of emotional vulnerability and forbidden excitement.

The risk sharpens the tension, the secrecy amplifies the intimacy, and if there are cracks in her current relationship (boredom, neglect, emotional disconnection) you become the escape, the contrast, the thrill she hasn’t felt in months. Now, you might be too ethical for that, fair enough. Just letting you know of the possibilities.

If woman are just "nice" and you are also "nice" the problem is lack of tension. You are being too polite, too agreeble, too conflict and tension avoidant, filtering yourself too much and sticking with safe platonic topics that don't create any emotional excitement which can lead to the woman rejecting you politely or friendzoning you.

If she is the one carrying the conversation about platonic stuff and you don't break that comfort at all because you are happy to be able to have a conversation and don't wanna risk ruining it by saying something risky, then you will not get any girl.

Desirings · 2025-05-21T21:46:22+00:00

Maybe you unconciously act more normal and calmer around married or taken woman, because you feel like you dont need to impress her

eablokker · 2025-05-21T21:50:36+00:00

Did you ever think that the girls who are taken, are taken because they are good at being friendly, talkative, and flirtatious, and the girls who are single, are single because they are not good at it? Or the single ones are the most picky, anxious, avoidant, have bad attitudes, and thats why they're single? Maybe it has nothing to do with you.

Do you have any examples of women who flipped dispositions once they became taken, or became single?

ptsdbagz · 2025-05-21T20:25:22+00:00

Do you know these women are taken before you start talking to them? Same question for the single ones?

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-21T20:28:54+00:00

Continue to talk to more people and become more comfortable in social situations. It sounds like you place way too much pressure on yourself and need to lessen your anxiety. I agree it's ideal to get a woman talking and then you can focus on being a good active listener. But there are no set rules.

Just know that people tend to find it boring when others' go on long tangents about themselves. However, as a guy, this is actually good for you because it provides you with a lot of informational ammo about her, her likes/dislikes and so forth.

Don't try to look too deeply into patterns of single vs. taken women. It probably means little and you are likely misinterpreting their kindness for flirting. If a woman ever says "I have a boyfriend/husband," just move along whether you believe it to be true or not. You'll get many rejections; just chalk it up to gaining experience.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-05-22T03:08:23+00:00

Nobody can give you a good answer. Because what you're asking is a loaded question. It's like walking up to a millionaire and asking him "what made you successful." What is he going to say? You need to ask something more specific to get better feedback.

I ahve a library of over 40 posts, 80 thousand words on solving this exact problem. You can slowly read through them and come back with a more precise question.

Leading-Ad-4085 · 2025-05-22T21:51:12+00:00

He's sometimes when a girl is really secure on her relationship, she will flirt with yoji because she feels like you aren't a threat to her couple and she likes the attention.

The tricky part is if you have skills her little game becomes serious (under your leadership) and she actually falls for you.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-05-23T03:51:24+00:00

If you can hold a fun flirtatious conversation with the "taken," its just great practice for the singles. Your perception of failure with them could just be bias or somehow you have nervous energy during those moments.

Title	Dying for answers lol
Author	Excellent-Nothing189
Upvotes	6
Comments	37
Date	May 21, 2025 8:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ks7zfl/dying_for_answers_lol/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dying-for-answers-lol.1552767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552767

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