Question about disclosing finances

nb10001 · 2025-12-26T12:21:44+00:00

It seems like there are a couple of red flags here that definitely warrant further investigation. The first thing I’d suggest is to talk to your lawyer directly (they’re supposed to catch these things) and make sure they’re fully on top of it. If you're not getting clear answers, consider bringing in Privin private investigator to help dig into her finances. It’s definitely not uncommon for someone to try to hide or manipulate financial documents during a divorce. A professional investigator could verify those credit card statements and e-transfer patterns to see if something’s off. You deserve transparency!

No_Common_7141 · 2025-10-18T21:22:23+00:00

To be honest im going through the exact same thing right now and yes its red flags all over and as far as talking to your lawyer im not sure about that either cause I think society is bias towards men and unfortunately I have a woman lawyer im about to fire because she has even given my wife advise well how do u know ur asking because my ex tells my daughter everything and she told me that so unfortunately if I were u I would look through it all and question her you know her best and if she acts shady about it then bring it up to ur lawyer and make sure you tell them this is fraudulent and we must take action cause my lawyer never even turned in all my documents I have on what I have personally paid to fixing the house and meanwhile my wife was spending all her money on an affair MAKE THEM PAY FOR BEING A SHITTY WIFE.

Particular_Car7127 · 2025-06-23T19:26:21+00:00

She is giving her mother thousands of $$$ to hide money (assets) in plain sight, which is an old divorce trick.

Did you get a standard set of orders telling you/her not to get funny with spending? She is obviously dissipating marital assets.

CaptJaxParo · 2025-06-23T17:02:00+00:00

For people who are going to start divorce make sure you download a copy of adobe professional so you can edit PDFs. Download your bank statements and redact and black out the account numbers and other information. Also on your credit card statements redact the date and location of the purchase. My ex is using these two track where I am and then break into my house and steal my things when she sees that I was somewhere else. She was also logged into one of my accounts to track me off of. Do not underestimate what these people will do when they divorce you you are no longer a team and you need to protect your data and not hand it over so easily

Confident-Crawdad · 2025-06-21T23:07:02+00:00

If your lazy-ass lawyer won't subpoena records direct from the source (from paycheck to final expenditure, every credit account's transactions for at least the last six months, longer if she chose to leave because she was setting that shit up for a long time before clueing you in) find a lawyer who will.

She's sending thousands of dollars down an invisible rathole, my brother. That's 100% not in your best interests.

lewtus72 · 2025-06-21T13:39:43+00:00

The thing with debt is it's your responsibility to pay hers and supposedly she has to pay yours. She could be fudging and not have any debt to just to get you to pay more You want the transactions? Not an Excel sheet she made up

PghSubie · 2025-06-21T10:56:09+00:00

I would expect that you would be more worried about undisclosed sources of income, and not care at all about her expenses. What she chooses to spend money on, short of illegal drugs with kids in the house, is no longer your problem. Just make sure that she isn't making more income than you thought

Snowbirdy · 2025-06-21T09:54:27+00:00

Your lawyer can sub poena credit card statements (and bank statements) directly from the bank. That’s how I found a bunch of shady stuff.

CA_Poppy_25 · 2025-06-21T05:41:09+00:00

I am going through the discovery phase now and will submit my Income and Expense next week. Answers to your questions:

One of the credit card statements I am submitting allowed me to download 2 years worth of spending, so rather than giving a statement from the past 2 months, I opted to give 2 years...but my cc company just lists the spending with no monthly balance. It doesn't show an ending or current balance, but my court documents do AND the cc report I'm submitting is clearly from the cc company and not a spreadsheet or document I created.
I have subpoenaed records and when I receive them, the senior paralegal just sends the docs to me. I go over it on my own and sometimes plan my next move based on what I see. My lawyer also goes through it with a fine tooth comb and strategizes her next move from that. Maybe your lawyer is doing the same and has not commented yet.

From my experience, you can submit interrogatories to your wife to find out what these e-transfers to the MIL are for. The interrogatories can ask many different questions, but in your case, it can ask if she has supported anyone in the past 12 months (state name, age, address, relationship, and amount), has she received financial support from anyone in the past year (state name, age, address, relationship, and amount), and to list any gifts she has given without your consent in the last 2 years (name recipient and gift value). Interrogatories seem very intrusive to me, but it's part of the discovery process and if someone is not being transparent, then we have no choice but to demand answers. I personally think the money your wife sent to her mom is a misuse of marital funds, so you should pursue it and get half of it back.

You could ask your wife to save attorneys fees, but do you trust her to tell the truth? Interrogatories are answered under penalty of perjury and there are legal consequences if your wife lies.

Diona_Noise_3958 · 2025-06-21T14:31:25+00:00

Request clarification through your lawyer. Transparency is crucial in these situations.

pk2at · 2025-06-21T02:55:13+00:00

oh gosh, here is one more. Why on earth do you disclose everything asked by her lawyer? Is he your friend or did he threaten you with perjury? Its essentially shooting yourself in the foot on step 1. A tip for you, there is close to zero you can do if she hides any money. So why not at least have some spare change under your mattress?

Unusual_University14 · 2025-06-21T02:26:37+00:00

If you want evidence you need to go through your lawyer.

Yes, you should review the documents and let them know your concerns. The alternative is they do it, charging their hourly rate. Let the lawyer do the lawyerly things that you can't do for yourself or you'll start getting huge bills.

Now, what you do about it kinda depends. Without knowing the full scale of the marital estate it could be a few thousand "isn't worth fighting over" (yes, it sucks). Just file away the suspect transactions and if its a significant dollar amount compared to the value of the estate, then you can adjust the financial split.

I'd ask for the monthly financial statements in PDF, personally, and not excel. If she says no, then I'd consider asking attorney to subpoena credit card companies directly.

Several_Industry_754 · 2025-06-21T01:23:25+00:00

So you can ask her directly for things. If you think she’s lying then you do financial discovery.

Slowloris81 · 2025-06-21T01:20:20+00:00

If you have a lawyer you need to go through your lawyer to get discovery. Definitely point out the discrepancies to your lawyer and they should follow up as appropriate demanding that the deficiencies be corrected.

Question about disclosing finances

2 on her own personal chequing account, I’ve noticed a few monthly e-transfers to her mother for a few thousand dollars at a time. She is currently living with her parents, so it may be for rent or something, but the values are not consistent. Is this something I should be flagging with my lawyer?

Comments

Title	Question about disclosing finances
Author	Emotional_Bike2699
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	June 21, 2025 1:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lgkf6f/question_about_disclosing_finances/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-about-disclosing-finances.1555148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555148