How to Have Better Conversations Over Text In Order To Make It To The First Date - Amateur Levels of Success?

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-07-09T17:27:38+00:00

It’s just a psychology. Use same tricks as advertisement media does.

People engage with a content which is.

Sexual
Food
About themselves
Shocking
Provocative
Engaging
Short. Attention span is highly reduced by most people due to media.

For example.

“Let’s cut the bullshit. How spontaneous are you?” - it’s a shocking and engaging opener

“You seem like trouble” - provocative

“Tell me three interesting facts about yourself” - engaging and about them

“You are cute. But Taylor Swift is a red flag”. - provocative

“Which food u won’t be able to live without?” - food related

You get the point.

Using tricks of engagement you can keep her interested.

Just make sure they are not extreme. Sending dick picks is shocking but too extreme. You have to find balance.

Nabbzi · 2025-07-09T17:30:34+00:00

Ask to meet her earlier in the convo Source: been on over 500 tinder dates since 2015

Icy_Artist111 · 2025-07-09T18:01:20+00:00

Try to get her out on a date ASAP. That's why you're both there.

To get there, make it easy for her to respond while you're *guiding the conversation* - it's a bit like chess where you need to think a couple moves in advance, figure out what she's going to respond with, how you can move that towards a date.

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-09T18:40:58+00:00

You are trying too hard. The person who is trying too hard is the one chasing and the one who chases, gets rejected.

You don’t need to make interesting conversations with women. You don’t need to be funny and fascinating and a clown. You will probably have more success if you are a total dick and just engage with one word answers.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-07-09T18:35:11+00:00

I generally minimize texting to only setting up dates until I'm in a relationship. Phone/voice is preferred until we're a couple as it adds a flare of personality and tends to lead to less flaking in my experiences. If the date is several days out, I may just go ahead and add her on Facebook so she can poke around a bit. I regularly interact with family, friends and sometimes even business associates on there and so it gives some pre-congruence measures.

JackSquirts · 2025-07-09T19:00:17+00:00

I tend not to text much, but do offer a phone call if it's going to be more than a few days wait for the date. The power of your voice is so much greater than any clever text, even if you don't have a ton to say. 10 minutes on the phone is the equivalent to ~50 texts.

Match, fewer than 10 messages over a couple of days, move to text and secure date, a couple of touch bases, offer a phone call, repeat texting a day or two before the date. Match to date in a week or under 90% of the time.

Worth-Combination306 · 2025-07-09T21:53:09+00:00

I ask out after 3 back and forth messages. Spaced out one day each.

CharmingRejector · 2025-07-09T23:01:08+00:00

Don't use texting to have conversations bro. Use texting to plan meetups. Do minimal comfort just so you don't seem like a psychopath. Then pitch a meeting. Or presume a meeting. Or talk generally about something that she could meet up on, something social or otherwise, and test the waters. If she seems open to meeting you there, it's a green light. If not, dude, you're wasting your time. Tell her you've got shit to do, and that she should message you when she's ready to meet you. Obviously be smooth and courteous, but just don't entertain "converastions" through texting. You can get to know her IRL. Texting is for planning meetups only.

If the convo has gone stale for a while, or if you texted her last year, send a value text: A "haven't heard from you in a while" or a meme or a joke, but something that does not require a reply. This is a value text. It can be an update. THen if she bites, comfort for one or two texts, then pitch a meeting. Or test the waters "Hey did you know X has a concert this weekend??! omg you love that band too, lets gooo!" And then plan the party.

ChicoBrillo · 2025-07-10T04:40:02+00:00

If she's willingly messaging you assume she's interested. Most people don't want to be pen pals or get to know you over text, that is better left for in person. When I'm on apps my goal is to get off the app asap and then make a plan to meet (something easy, flexible, low pressure) for first date.

Icemangetit2001 · 2025-07-10T07:40:38+00:00

Mate, I'd also like to add most woman on dating apps have just very little interest of meeting up. It might be their own insecurity but from experience it's they just want their ego boosted. I'd say around 50-60% is there just for chatting.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-09T18:05:31+00:00

I suggest you read this reddit post on how to have fun conversations with girls, instead of asking girls questions.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-07-10T07:01:03+00:00

If you are on the apps, dont waste time asking about hobbies or whatever, go straight for the date, you can unload the questions then.

Matter_Still · 2025-07-09T19:24:52+00:00

There was a time when if it was Tuesday and if you asked a girl out for Friday, you had her phone number, and simply said, “Great. I’ll call you Thursday.

That was it. The questions were asked on the date, and the process worked beautifully, Guys found girlfriends, got laid, and some, even wives.

As I see it, the ridiculous reliance on social media—texting—is a major reason why there is so much disappointment. It is a compressed form of communication that does not allow for nuance. If I were dating in 2025 I would avoid it for the most part: “How’s your day?” Her: “I’m swamped. I hate Mondays.” Him: “I’ll let you go and try calling tonight.”

That would be it.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-09T17:21:14+00:00

For the life of I can’t figure out how to keep somebodies interest before the first date.

Before I try to help you, let me learn a bit more about you by asking you how do you FEEL about yourself?

Title	How to Have Better Conversations Over Text In Order To Make It To The First Date - Amateur Levels of Success?
Author	Extinction00
Upvotes	31
Comments	41
Date	July 9, 2025 5:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lvofwh/how_to_have_better_conversations_over_text_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-have-better-conversations-over-text-in.1556728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556728

Comments