My mind is telling me no but my lady parts are saying yes

maroonwolf24 · 2025-07-26T14:53:37+00:00

I'll tell you my story, I waited till the 3rd date. We were making out and things were getting kind of hot. I had been celibate for 2 years at this point and I told him I felt like a virgin again and didn't want to have sex yet. He was super respectful and said he understood and no sex needed to happen. Idk what it is but being respected like that turned me on to the point where I basically jumped on him.

We are engaged and getting married in 2 weeks in a fairytale castle in France.

It's the person, not the timing. If he's a douche it doesn't matter if it's the first date or the tenth, he will always be a douche.

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-07-24T22:02:29+00:00

I know women, some who are even very respected here, who had first date sex and married him. Let's be honest, though. That's not usually how that goes. Is he guaranteed to drop you if you get sexual on the third date? No. Is there still a decent chance he'll no longer take you seriously? Yes. You, in particular, sound like you struggle with anxiety in new relationships, wondering why he hasn't texted, where this is going, etc. Getting physical isn't going to go well. If you're stressed this week, masturbate.

mishkaforest235 · 2025-07-24T21:12:38+00:00

You know the answer; that’s why you’re posting here. Hold strong :) don’t fall for the 3rd date propaganda. You can resist; you are worth more than this. Don’t give yourself away yet. He’s got to get to know you more; invest more in you emotionally etc. don’t do it (you will regret it!).

It’s great you’re excited about this guy; hold onto that feeling. Focus it into something else for now - get to know him more; let him get to you more. Right now he’s trying to get access to your body - but; 3rd date can’t be it ;)

Confident-Eye-1982 · 2025-07-25T10:17:44+00:00

Maybe it’s just being extremely cautious, but it’s hard to see how physical intimacy makes sense with someone who’s only been seen three times in total — especially on a page that’s supposed to promote a more conservative mindset

giozimmer · 2025-07-25T13:19:51+00:00

Way too soon!

IncognitoGyal7 · 2025-07-25T10:32:06+00:00

You're worth more than giving it up on the third date, too fast, too soon. Ask yourself what makes you trust him so quickly to give him access to your most prized and sacred body?

Try using a toy before hanging out with him if you know your attraction to him and sexual urges are getting hard to control. I wouldn't advise to go to his home on the third date, he may be testing your boundaries/feeling you out in a more private space. If you can't resist it, just make sure you get tested and get him tested too (Full Panel including HSV-1/HSV-2) before proceeding, many men do not regularly test therefore; do not know their sexual status. Just protect yourself at all costs!

Dionne005 · 2025-07-24T22:02:37+00:00

Toy?

sindyisdatchu · 2025-07-26T10:44:55+00:00

Mastu ate at home

Fantastic-Fudge888 · 2025-07-25T11:54:23+00:00

Pre-game baby!!!

Lots of self-pleasure leading up to and before the date = irresistible feminine energy

But don't go to a strangers home, you still dont know him.

I had no idea (the sheer innocence!) that it is an unwritten rule for men that home dates means you want sex!!!!

You still don't really know this guy... personally I'd rather see how a man handles rejection in public before finding out behind closed doors.

Stay safe, stay celibately slutty ✌️

Antique_Mountain_263 · 2025-07-25T20:43:09+00:00

You barely know this man. Do you know for sure he doesn’t have a criminal history? What is his family like and where is he from? Does he have the same morals and values as you as far as marriage, parenting, etc, go? One of the consequences of sex is having a baby. I know the chances are very low if you’re on birth control and take precautions, but not zero. Guard your womb until you know he is worthy of being a husband and a father.

PillUpAss · 2025-07-25T22:37:43+00:00

Frankly, there’s a lot of borderline feminist advice here. The make him wait game does not work. That guy that you’re interested in is going to read this as a lack of genuine passion or you will succeed in betafying him and lose interest.

I’m not saying you have to have sex, but making a game out of when you do starts things off on a very bad foot. You are not just training him that you’re going to make him wait and that you don’t have genuine passion for him - you are training yourself that you shouldn’t follow your instincts on a guy that checks every other box.

There’s an old whisper post about this where he actually recommends you sleep with the guy that is in alignment with where you want to go quickly. Based on my experience, I have to agree. The women that slept with me right away actually showed me they were serious. But then again, my RMV is off the charts (their words, not mine) so I know I’m bringing the rest of the equation to the table.

Jenneapolis · 2025-07-25T14:37:31+00:00

You can absolutely go to someone’s house and have a home date without having sex?! I actually really like home dates, it teaches you a lot about the person how they keep their home and how you both interact in that setting, which is in reality what most of marriage is like.

Only you know what the right thing for you to do is here. You don’t say your age but I do think that makes a difference here too. In short, I don’t think a third date is too fast for a home date.

IlIIlIIIlIl · 2025-07-25T20:29:14+00:00

From a man's perspective, when the sex first happens is inconsequential to the health and seriousness of any relationship. But I can't speak for all men. For example, I had sex before the first date then ended up marrying her. And before that, I went as far as cuddling naked with a girl for almost a month without any sexual things happening at all, and I consider her one of the two greatest loves of my life. I still call her My Lava.

RemarkableFlower7652 · 2025-07-28T07:45:59+00:00

If you dont trust yourself not to jump on him, go to a movie instead. You know yourself and you have a history of being anxious, so I think its safer to wait. Just follow your gut. If any part of you is thinking this is a bad idea, trust it. I think the kind or stories where it doesn't matter is when there is alignment with the head and the heart and they truly don't care about what happens. But if part of you is feeling guilt or hesitation, the odds that it'll backfire increases.

RedPillDad · 2025-07-25T04:44:04+00:00

He won't understand your struggles unless you tell him. You're attracted to him, want to take things further, but are afraid of ruining things if you go too fast or slow.

If the guy knew what he was doing he could probably have confidently assuaged your fears and scored by now. Nice guys don't know what they're doing and are just as afraid of ruining things. It gets awkward instead of sensuous.

You might have to give him more green lights to encourage his advancements. While cocky guys might barge forwards without your clear signals, the nervous, shy guys seem frozen in place.

tyyyy110 · 2025-07-24T22:06:32+00:00

If the energy and sparks are there, and you're comfortable, then let go and enjoy. You're an adult, thus there's no set time for when you "ought" to be intimate with someone. Just my .2

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ArdentBandicoot · 2025-07-25T21:40:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AutoModerator · 2025-07-24T19:43:53+00:00

Title: My mind is telling me no but my lady parts are saying yes

Author Neat_Visit_9184

Full text: I’ve been on a few dates with this guy. Tomorrow will be our third date. It’s going well and I’m behaving in alot better ways than I have in the past like boundaries, no anxious texting etc and being realistic. I’ve been celibate for about a year now and no romantic interest either. So it’s nice the first one I have after a year, seems like a good guy.

He’s nice, handsome, a little shy, and respectful. We had one short kiss after our first date and now on the third he asked if I wanted to hang out at his place or we could find a movie to go to or something else. I know most people say don’t do it bc of sex

But I’ve had a really stressful past two weeks. Haven’t seen him for awhile and honestly want to have a relaxing night in. But I don’t want to have full on sex bc it’s to soon but also the idea of getting intimate is so exciting lol!!! How do I get satisfied enough to wait or do I just need some self control!

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Title	My mind is telling me no but my lady parts are saying yes
Author	Neat_Visit_9184
Upvotes	47
Comments	53
Date	July 24, 2025 7:43 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1m8e7oe/my_mind_is_telling_me_no_but_my_lady_parts_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-mind-is-telling-me-no-but-my-lady-parts-are.1558000 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558000

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