Divorce after cheating

Indepedence-david · 2025-09-02T08:20:43+00:00

Don’t beat yourself about it. You made a mistake Owen up and move on. Painful it must be nothing worse than living the rest of your life with someone who completely neglects you.

yeldellmedia · 2025-09-01T18:18:05+00:00

Bro u should never move out if its your own home/lease/mortgage. Hopefully thats not the case…. Plus your son is there!

Techdude_Advanced · 2025-09-01T05:18:59+00:00

Just adding it here that men always admit their mistakes and own up to it. The other gender will gaslight and never take accountability and blame their man for their actions.

SimpleStart2395 · 2025-09-01T03:07:51+00:00

Cheating is sort of a taboo but the lack of sex stuff is real.

I would probably stand up and just say it how it is. She didn’t take care of you in bed, so you found it elsewhere and because of the taboos in the world you got caught.

But you know you aren’t necessarily wrong and it is what it is. Be there for your son. He will understand the reality of life through you, something that will never be taught to him by any woman or society.

Either-Sport731 · 2025-09-01T00:15:24+00:00

Honestly, dude, just be there for your kid consistently. The divorce is going to happen probably. You "done goofed," but you can still be in your kid's life.

Best of luck getting sorted.

I get it. Shit gets hard. Just keep moving forward my guy.

funnyman6979 · 2025-08-31T20:13:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I’m not going to speak for the masses here, but at any given moment in the last 20 years of marriage two I’ve been married I’ve been on empty for a long time. I think however because I was the one cheated on in my first marriage, add to this after divorce I found myself in a paradox as a player on the other side between marriages, I’ve been close but walk away because it won’t fix things.

Good advice here as always, we’ve had people within our circle carry on ten year affairs and they’ve survived or maybe they haven’t who knows. But looking forward, one day at a time, honestly it’s human to focus on what we don’t have versus what we do have. Trust is hard to get back in any case but to come out better for all, accountability, dig deep, trust me the girl before this marriage we set the world on fire but for all the wrong reasons.

But word of advice, even though I’m not in the same place don’t be everyone’s punching bag either. I learned affairs there’s two sides, you acted on it but staying and not giving back or lack of engagement and respect isn’t healthy all around either. Not an excuse but it does take two here, good luck you got this.

Retying3043 · 2025-08-31T19:18:51+00:00

My opinion is just get the divorce. The relationship will never be the same. Years can be wasted trying to “make it work,” when it may be better to just move on.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2025-08-31T18:52:37+00:00

I did the same thing years ago with my ex. She then found someone else when I was ready to commit. Sadly once the walls are built by our mistakes, they become impossible to break down. But there is hope, I remarried and have a new perfect family. In addition to my new daughter my 2 daughters I had with my ex are 100% secure and we have a great relationship. I thank God daily for this second chance. Life is 100% all about second and third and fourth chances brother. I was 40 when it happened. We are never too old to live again. But we must first admit our faults and then also forgive ourselves for progress to happen. If we remain selfish and blame others, there is no hope. You will make it brother.

jakerr17 · 2025-08-31T18:37:04+00:00

I (38m) am in a very similar boat as you. I was also the wayward one in our marriage and it cost me a lot. Take the time to own up to it and take accountability for your flaws. Work on guilt and shame, and show up. Every day. Put in the extra effort for you son and allow you stbx time and space to grieve. Immediately let her go or run back and fight hard.. there’s no in between. You’ll find peace eventually, but you’ll prob write through a few journals to even start to get there. Stay grounded.

Hour_Dust_1766 · 2025-08-31T17:19:24+00:00

Divorce tip i knew, never move out of the house first. Even if you did wrong it removes your leverage.

Relevant-Key4610 · 2025-08-31T17:10:15+00:00

Unfortunately, no one tells you the true story. I have been in your shoes and for a far more time than a year. I have cheated numerous years, because I have been looking for the perfect relationship where I get the love, connection, emotions, and the hot sex. The relationship at home was dead, no communication, no love, she wouldn't reciprocate and she was a disaster to live with. Well few years ago I found it and decided to come clean with my spouse about it. At that moment, I realized that I lost all the things that matters to me, my kids, my house, my financial stability, my friends, etc... I can relate to what you feel brother. Listen my advice for you is this and its gonna be the unpopular advice here. If you feel like you can make this work, go back and fight for it with your wife and kid. If you feel its beyond repair, then your only option is figuring out the best way to deal with your kid and find yourself a new purpose in life, make more money, and try to enjoy the remaining days with another woman, which I am sure you will find at some point. But again, if you can go back and make it work, I'd take this option any day

Due-Fix-1038 · 2025-08-31T17:07:34+00:00

You start by being accountable, which you are certainly doing. Use this moment to grow as a person.

The accountability has to stretch back to the challenges you were having with emotions. See a therapist and discuss it.

But most of all, go easy on yourself - it takes time to heal.

KoalaFast5753 · 2025-08-31T16:58:15+00:00

She wasn’t giving you emotional care? Not physical care? What exactly were you looking for and why was she not providing it? Did she speak to her about it multiple times?

Title	Divorce after cheating
Author	martinjulius
Upvotes	17
Comments	29
Date	August 31, 2025 4:53 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1n4zre4/divorce_after_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-after-cheating.1560969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560969

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