Addiction keeping me at a standstill.

bobbobbitybob · 2015-11-05T15:42:26+00:00

As a former games addict (6 years wasted) one advice:

Go cold turkey. It's hard. It won't be easy. Watch "Trainspotting" and pay attention when He said he's cutting himself off from the drugs. He had a plan, was prepared and took action.

COLD TURKEY, cut this shit straight away. It will be tempting... Lift, do sports, be busy! It will be better than anything. That's called comfort zone, run from it. I hope You will listen. Be strong, I know the pain.

tautologicoxymoron · 2015-11-05T13:47:52+00:00

Maybe this will help: you are fucking pathetic. Videogames don't qualify as addiction, you pussy. Man the fuck up and grow some balls.

TRPdating · 2015-11-05T12:50:31+00:00

Cold turkey is a mistake, you must supplement the absence of the stimulus you get from porn and VGs.

There is a part of you that wants to fuck bitches and be a hero. That's why you love those vices. But they are simulations, fake and empty. When you turn off the computer, you're back to being alone, and weak.

Don't give up anything right now, instead ADD lifting, eating healthy, meditation, and approaching women to your life. If you focus on those things for a few months, you're likely to see a reduction in your vices, if not from the fact you're leaving the house more, then surely from all the confidence you'll gain.

2comment · 2015-11-05T15:52:37+00:00

Friend, addictions are like ruts in a road. It's easy to keep falling back into them. Willpower is good, but it's like a muscle, which in your case is hardly used, it's hard to muster the strength steer and keep clear.

If you think you can really cold turkey it, do that. Sometimes it works but often it doesn't.

If you can't, start building the willpower muscle. Start off by sticking 10 minutes, half an hour, whatever you can comfortably into a positive activity. I don't care when you do it, but do it at a time so that you don't go right into porn/video_games right after. You're not trying to build up a pavlonian reward system where porn/VG becomes your reward for doing this stuff. You'll build the wrong attitude towards it; it becomes the boring shit you have to do before the fun stuff.

Every week, either up the activity time a moderate amount or choose to add another activity. Do this in increments. You do not want to burn yourself out at the starting gate.

People recommend removing triggers. Like moving the computer out of the bedroom or whatever. I'd recommend building your willpower by thinking. Everytime you want to do an unproductive activity, take a 5 minute walk first. Don't fixate on what you're trying to deprive yourself, focus instead on your goals.

Transition your masturbation to the shower. Men masturbate. That's just a fact of life. We just need to get it out of our system sometimes. Just jerk one out and move on, you have better stuff to do. At least you'll get clean doing so and will have to exercise your imagination away from porn.

Lastly, remember people slip up. Nobody is perfect. People are fixated on dates and performing flawlessly after such and such. They'll stuff themselves before Christmas and New Years and tell themselves "From January 1st on, I'll be good." Then they'll take a gym membership for a year and go there for 2, 3 weeks before quitting. Or on their birthday. Or get fit "before summer". They always wonder why they fail with those attitudes.

A 195lb with medium bodyfat who's been pigging out the past month is still better off than a 300lb man who's been eating perfect the last 3 months. The fat guy is in bad territory headed in a good direction while the thinner one is in okay territory but headed in a bad. Get realistic where you are at, at the moment, and keep aware of your direction. Everyone will stray, the important thing about willpower isn't to prevent every slip up, but to have the tenacity to set and perpetually reset your compass in the right general direction, even after travelling the wrong way for a short while.

Good luck.

rpkarma · 2015-11-05T13:09:38+00:00

It's not an addiction. You won't go through crippling withdrawals. Man up.

runningismycrack · 2015-11-05T13:17:33+00:00

You replace addictions with new addictions. Get addicted to lifting, cold approaching, and if you need to get your dick wet, dont use porn.

CocoaPill · 2015-11-05T13:31:16+00:00

I used to spend a big part of my free time playing video games and then topping it up with porn fapping... What helped me get off both was avoiding as much as possible to use my laptop.

That way I forced myself to find other pastimes at home, started reading way more and eventually grew out of it. hope this helps

FrameWalker · 2015-11-05T14:11:24+00:00

Leave your laptop in your car locked up or at work. Then go out and get some positive social interaction. Once you're feeling pretty good approach and get shit down a bunch. Lift and socialize until you're over it then approach more.

RXRob · 2015-11-05T15:46:19+00:00

Gaming is fine. But only allow it after you've completed a to do list. My xbox stays switched off until I've done the washing up, laundry, plant and pet feeding, and finances. Every single day of the year.

In my view porn is also fine, but you have to accept the side effect of your diminished attraction to real women. Personally I prefer a woman sitting on my dick once a week to a nightly wank.

GaiusScaevolus · 2015-11-05T16:25:15+00:00

/r/nonothingnovember. You picked the perfect time to show up and kick some bad habits.

MeatCurtainRod · 2015-11-05T16:42:00+00:00

Addiction is simply a popular social word for "habit you consistently put your efforts into". I remember years ago telling someone this: Good habits and bad habits are merely addictions. These are wolves that are fighting each other for your valued and limited attention. The wolves that win, are the wolves you feed.

Make it easier to feed the good wolves. Make it harder for yourself to feed your bad habits. Make better habits. Soon you will adapt and you will find it better to feed other good habits.

longerdistance · 2015-11-05T17:36:21+00:00

Just fill your time with something useful, then you automatically will stop thinking about it.

Merica911 · 2015-11-05T17:36:54+00:00

I'm not saying "don't" get off on porn and play video games but this is what I'm telling you to "do".

Gym everyday, meditation, clean your home, groom yourself, approach people as well as girls you're interested in, analogue hobbies (in a non digital form), read, connect with friends and family, etc, etc, etc.. You get the point.

Once you do all those things, jerk off away to porn and play all the video games you want.. BUT only once you handle your shit. Nothing wrong with video games and jerking off but there is something wrong but there's something wrong when you are nothing doing the following.

648262 · 2015-11-05T17:59:19+00:00

Disconnect your computer. Sell it even. The addiction is an illusion.

Don't want to? Don't want what; get rid of it, or develop? They are one and the same.

I know it sounds crazy, but just get rid of it. You do not need a computer.

ShounenEgo · 2015-11-05T18:52:36+00:00

Have you tried /r/pornfree and /r/stopgaming ?

vox_veritas · 2015-11-05T22:00:07+00:00

Here's a tip: just fucking stop. I smoked cigarettes off and on (mostly on) for about 10 years. A year and a half ago, I decided it was stupid, so I quit. My secret? I threw away the pack I had and never smoked again.

penguin_says_slide · 2015-11-05T12:28:35+00:00

Find a better addiction i.e. cold approach pickup

falafin · 2015-11-05T12:36:34+00:00

cancel your internet subscription and sell video games

then spend the free time on improving yourself

are you willing to do that?

Title	Addiction keeping me at a standstill.
Author	Davidreal
Upvotes	10
Comments	87
Date	November 5, 2015 12:16 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rmceq/addiction_keeping_me_at_a_standstill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/addiction-keeping-me-at-a-standstill.156136 https://theredarchive.com/post/156136

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