I will say this. I genuinely believed her at a certain point because I realized she had never lied to me in our 15 years and was always loyal. So when here reasons were understandable and she had multiple chances to tell me if there was another guy, she denied it and swore on our children.

Well, this week I finally had a couple hours alone with her as we waited at the car dealership. And I asked again, and what do you know…she admits she’s in an emotional relationship with another recently divorced childhood friend of hers. She says they have not even kissed but that yes long term she does see the relationship developing.

So I’ve been grieving this week. Again. Realizing she had this guy in mind the whole time.

Now the tricky part. Our kids are not aware. Oldest is 15 and thinks her mom is her hero. If she knew about this…my daughter would be angry. But it can’t come from me right? I need this to happen organically and let her mom be the one to tell her? I told her mom she needed to soon or I would but she said she wasn’t ready yet to do so because we’re still not finalized divorced and there’s no physical relationship yet. I made her swear again on that but it means diddly now. It’s been so hard this week not to tell my girls about mom’s lies and their next life of 3 step brothers. I knew this hurt would eventually come and I’m standing and dealing with it. I almost wondered if she was trying to trick me to see if it would make me collapse or start drinking again, tempting but no. My kids need this steady calm version of me right now.