Reading this sub and other activities contributing to rumination

LearnGrowExist · 2025-11-07T15:22:39+00:00

This is a great observation, OP. Early on in the process for me, I told my therapist that writing was becoming this for me — something that seemed to help me process but that was starting to make me feel stuck in my emotional loop — and she expressed genuine surprise and told me how insightful and good that it was to recognize this and that it may be time to consider doing something other than writing/journaling for a while. She was right.

Sometimes you really do just need to take a break from whatever it is that is hurting you once you recognize it, knowing that even too much of the best things can become harmful to the right person.

BeginningProgress551 · 2025-11-07T02:51:51+00:00

I know exactly what you mean..

My YouTube recommendations got full of divorce stuff just from my changing of viewing habits. I had to go in and manually delete all of them afterwards because every video was something about getting them back, we're moving on, etc. They're not bad videos necessarily but just bombarded me non-stop.

It's been a couple of months for me since it all went down and I can feel myself turning a corner so I have stopped listening and watching divorce content completely. I feel much better as well.

FUMoney · 2025-11-07T00:11:46+00:00

Read the information that most closely aligns with your case, and your circumstances. The greatest value here is to predict future outcomes based on similar facts. And to use tactics that have worked successfully in factually similar cases.

You don’t need to be here four times a day for that. So moderate your use to only the most efficient and effective outcome in your divorce matter.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-11-06T23:20:11+00:00

Understandable. The line between camaraderie and unhealthy commiseration is pretty blurry, not to mention that all the slow motion trainwrecks constantly popping up can be alluring.

There’s always some level of help in hearing other stories and especially the helpful comments. If you can maintain focus on your situation and how to manage/improve/solve some of the issues and seeking support from the community, the benefit probably outweighs the cost. But try unplugging for a few days and journaling your thoughts/ruminations, that’s what helped me with the spiraling/curcular thinking the most.

Edit: Pinning this as it should be highlighted and discussed as I’m sure you’re not the only one but you had the courage to articulate it - thank you.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-11-06T21:11:21+00:00

Maybe try to unplug for a day/weekend from all electronics and see if that makes a difference.
Good luck with processing your divorce. Make some time to sit with the pain and let it pass through you.
Letting go is the hardest part. Wish you only the best.

No-Sympathy2810 · 2025-11-06T20:00:09+00:00

This is a very mature realization to come from. My seperation began in April and for a good couple months I consumed so much divorce content. It did in fact prevent me from moving forward. That fact you’ve arrived at this conclusion is proof that you’re moving on and growing. I would take a break from the doom and gloom and focus on positive changes you want to make. For me I realized that my situation wasn’t nearly as bad as a lot of the guys in here. Proud of you OP this is a sign to keep moving forward. This forum isn’t meant to be your final destination!

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2025-11-06T19:58:08+00:00

It's a support group with dudes who want to help each other. It probably isn't a good idea to go pain shopping trying to find stories that are worse or better than yours, especially in the initial stages of shellshock. But when you get to a point of emotional control, the value of the advice from seasoned dudes is priceless.

Hope you will come back around after you've run your own divorce gauntlet and share your experiences, wisdom, and knowledge to help others out in the future.

The very act of helping others navigate the worst period of their lives is itself therapeutic.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2025-11-06T19:34:42+00:00

I am feeling this also honestly. Very much a double-edged sword.

TheSmartLawGroup · 2025-11-06T18:49:40+00:00

I feel weird saying this here, but if this is affecting you, stop. I assure you that you are not missing anything. One of the best ways to protect your mental health is to shut off social media. Sometimes it helps to shut off the news, also. Unfortunately, it's just too easy to keep these diversions on to try to avoid your own issues.
Focus on what makes you happy. You do not need to be mired in other people's problems.
Social media is not designed to make you happy, it is designed to keep your attention and not leave the platform. I take breaks from it regularly. Many people will tell you that writing in a personal journal was their best relief from social media - you get to focus on yourself, and sometimes you even find your own answers to the issues of your day (not someone else's).

Reflog1791 · 2025-11-06T18:38:26+00:00

Program yourself to do 50 push-ups in the morning before checking the phone. If you can’t do 50 start with 10, then 25, etc.

It’ll make you feel good.

It is normal to wake up feeling shitty. Do everything you can to start the day on a positive note. Dancing in the kitchen with music on while making a coffee and a bagel after pumping out a bunch of push-ups is like a secret life hack.

Tasty_Dinner6530 · 2025-11-06T18:43:40+00:00

OP pls understand you are going through an emotional turmoil and while focusing on physical aspect you also need to understand the emotional aspect of this experience.

One thing that helped me were some learning from this book , it contextualized how brain / mind works and how to get a handle on “thoughts” as they spiral. The first thing is to identify them , and then to stop giving into them by realizing these are just thoughts.

You can take it or leave it tbh, different people have different opinions about it

The Untethered Soul: The Journey... https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1458727378?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Title	Reading this sub and other activities contributing to rumination
Author	Boglehead101
Upvotes	18
Comments	16
Date	November 6, 2025 6:24 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1oq6olw/reading_this_sub_and_other_activities/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reading-this-sub-and-other-activities-contributing.1565923 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565923

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