Author: divorce attorney Scott Byer

In my experience as an attorney, the most common job of a woman who divorces her husband is a nurse. Infidelity rates are the highest among nurses. & Teachers , there’s a lot when it comes to teachers, because teachers are predominantly female professions. So it’s women who spend a lot of time with other women, and they spend a lot of their time talking about how much their husbands suck or men suck.

But I think statistically the highest would be homemakers. Like homemakers I hesitate to use the term stay-at-home mothers because once a kid is in their school years, you’re not sitting at home darning the socks and making elaborate meals. It’s usually like you’re just not working.

Why is that? Well, I think a lot of things in our society has gotten much easier than they used to be. If you ever watch on YouTube some of those “Life in the 1800s,” “Life in 1700” channels, you see how much it takes a wood stove, you know, like that’s a whole thing.

I guess, why does a housewife or a homemaker slash housewife why does she divorce her husband? I think idle hands are the devil’s plaything. You know, the tasks that used to be incumbent on a homemaker are very easily done now. And so like, if you read The Unabomber's manifesto, Industrial Society and Its Future he basically talked about how the pursuit of our basic needs, like getting nutrition, hydration, shelter, is gonna get so unbelievably easy that we have to create what he called “surrogate activities,” which is like things to chase after and do to make us feel like we have purpose in our life.

Because really, most creatures on the earth other than humans are trying to make it through the day and not get eaten...., and possibly eat enough to make it. Humans we’ve got that down !!.

Like, come on, you don’t need a whole day to make an apple pie now. I could go on my phone and have 3 apple pies delivered here from three different places within a half an hour !

So when you were a stay-at-home mom in 1920, you were washing the cloth diapers. And a lot of times you were doing it with a wash basin. You weren’t doing it with a washing machine that you just stick a pod in, press the button, and go about the rest. You’d go to the grocer or the butcher and you would buy the things to make a meal, and then make that meal for your family. It required quite a bit of effort. There was inequality the man was out working. Traditionally, men were in workforce, women were at home.

But stay-at-home mom is not a hard job. Like hot-tar roofer that’s a HARD job. Landscaper that’s a hard job too. I’m not saying it’s not an important job but They’re kids& You are breaking rocks !

But we all want to feel like we’re working hard& we’re needed.& we’re accomplishing something difficult.

And when you don’t have that, when life becomes too easy, when the struggle is removed, people start to go insane. They start to create problems where there are none. They start to look for drama. They start to look for conflict. Because the human animal needs resistance it needs something to push against.

And when you take that away when everything is handed to you, when the house is clean in 30 minutes, when the kids are at school 8h a day, when the food shows up with an app you’ve got 6-8h a day of Void.

And that’s when the mind starts to eat itself. That’s when you start scrolling TikTok for 4h. That’s when you start listening to your girlfriends who hate their husbands. That’s when you start convincing yourself that you’re oppressed, that your life is harder than it actually is. And eventually you blow up the one thing that actually gives your life stability which is the marriage, the family, the husband who’s out there grinding.

So yeah, I think stay-at-home moms, or homemakers, especially once the kids are in school full-time, have the highest divorce rates because they have the most free time. And free time + no real struggle equals destruction. That’s my take.

Author: divorce attorney Scott Byer, full video

----------

My view: Totally agree. My mother, born in the 1940s in a third-world country in Africa, told me how hard life used to be in 60s but then it was normal for everyone

- wake up at dawn to let the animals out, feed them, take care of them
- They had to walk 5–10 km just to fetch firewood and carry it on their backs
and handle everything by hand including making bread & cleaning clothes
-plowing land
-killed cow? They had to clean the skin for hours to turn it as a carpet
- After cooking and cleaning, they even had to spin wool from the sheep to make thread then clothes.

When she came here, with gas stoves, running water, and not living with ten people from the extended family, she took it as paradise even if she still had to cook bread, wash dishes, and clean clothes by hand !

-->Imo, Any woman that wanna be a SAH without even a kid is a big red flag & sign of extreme laziness. I saw many in such case: guy come at 7pm, dirty palce, no warm meal for him, no kid, she is not working, but wife still in pajamas & asking him to go now to the restaurant at husband 'expense...