Just need to vent

63daddy · 2026-01-12T15:42:29+00:00

Why enter a discussion based on a false premise? We don’t live in a patriarchy so why have a discussion based on that false assumption?

Feminism fights to advantage women. That’s may be good for women, but disadvantaging men clearly isn’t good for men.

I hear you thought about the narrative getting twisted. My girlfriend is no feminist but still, when I talk about a policy such a WEEA discriminating against boys in education, her instinct is to blame the boys rather than factually address the discrimination.

If someone won’t acknowledge facts and logic but instead wants to argue based on a fantasy, then it’s useless to have a discussion.

AirSailer · 2026-01-12T17:07:00+00:00

I divorced my (now ex) wife because of her behavior, most of which was based off of her gender views. Her views progressively became more extreme and she started in with feminist groups and started blaming all her problems in white men (also, I'm white). I think she eventually started seeing me as part of the patriarchy, and thus it became her responsibility to emasculate and belittle me in front of family, friends, and coworkers.

When Trump was elected (even though I didn't vote for him) our marriage went downhill FAST. Her FB mom groups became cesspools of anti-male hatred and she carried that over into our marriage. At one point she posted about some argument we had, then showed me the responses from the other females to prove how I was wrong and it was some of the most toxic things I've ever read online.

She refused to work and literally spent all our money. I had a middle-class income but we were in debt living paycheck to paycheck. Any mention of writing out a budget turned into me financially abusing her. Her monthly cigarette expenditure alone was more than my monthly "allowance". Yet the patriarchy was still keeping her down.. not her lack of education, or refusal to work, or poor financial decisions. She had zero accountability, and accountability itself became just another tool of the patriarchy.

Eventually I pulled the plug on the marriage. My friend, watch your step with her, she's travelling down a path that doesn't bode well for you or your family.

Global_Rate3281 · 2026-01-12T15:38:13+00:00

Maybe instead of using general and broad terms like patriarchy and feminism you can talk a little more specifically about issues. Like what is she speaking about exactly when she says patriarchy

World-Three · 2026-01-12T17:42:30+00:00

Yikes...

I know I'd say I wish I got some royalties on that patriarchy... Because whatever they're doing I'm not getting.

I can't really tell you not to be a yes man... There is a lot of stuff you'd have to uncover she's likely not going to believe. And you'd probably be in a breakup over Barbie situation before you're finished.

Gotta love being with someone you can't even talk to right? Living the dream! (This isn't a jab at you, but more just a realization that this is the stuff men in general are taught to look forward to.)

notahopeleft · 2026-01-12T17:55:26+00:00

I had a discussion with my wife too this morning.

She asked ‘why do all men cheat?’

I replied ‘why are all women bitches?’

I added that if you can make blanket statements about men, I can make them about women. This happened after months of me trying to tell her that intelligent people don’t make broad statements about a population that is in the billions. Because even a small % of them would be in the millions.

Hopefully this shock treatment does the trick.

MyFeetLookLikeHands · 2026-01-12T15:36:13+00:00

i’m confused about what you’re saying here

tilldeathdoiparty · 2026-01-12T15:47:00+00:00

Yeah….. same

Easy-Board4441 · 2026-01-12T21:29:30+00:00

It's funny how so many women redefine words to mean whatever they need to in a given context. The ambiguity helps them control the narrative no matter where the conversation is going.

If you really care about winning an argument, my advice to you is to never let your opponent redefine a word. Hold them up to the dictionary definition of the term. If they protest, point out that there's no way to have a productive debate unless you guys both agree on some basic definitions. In my experience, most normies rage quit the debate the minute you try to constraint them to formal definitions.

WeStandWithMen · 2026-01-13T04:45:14+00:00

I see this daily in family counseling and legal disputes, when words like “patriarchy” and “feminism” are stretched beyond meaning, honest dialogue collapses into ideological shouting, and the husband is automatically framed as wrong. It’s not about winning arguments at home, it’s about protecting peace, mental health, and mutual respect; if every discussion becomes a courtroom where facts don’t matter, disengaging is sometimes the smartest self-preservation. Healthy marriages need logic, accountability, and equal standards, not imported slogans and emotional dominance. If dialogue cannot stay rational, choose calm boundaries over constant conflict. This is exactly why men must stay legally aware and emotionally grounded.

Due_Long6062 · 2026-01-13T00:32:38+00:00

drop her!!!

Unique_Magician6323 · 2026-01-12T17:19:18+00:00

Agreed. Feminist/liberals have changed the meaning of all the words, so you never know how to convey a message or what message is being conveyed. I recently found out oriental is now offensive. Apparently, that happened in ~2010. As an Asian American, I have to say nobody consulted with me on that change.

ThePiachu · 2026-01-12T17:49:42+00:00

Men suffer under "patriarchy" too. People turned a class war into a gender war.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2026-01-13T12:42:42+00:00

Seems like a nightmare. If you have to always hold yea self in or ajust to her whims thats not a relationship I would be into.

Cause I could not live or mix my life with a person thats like that that I always have to ajust my self.

If its not give and take but always her way yea for me at least I would be fed up with that shit quite quickly.

Especially when understanding and feelings and making space for the other only cuts one way.

Your relationship seems soul crushing bro. Never gonna say what you should or shouldn't do but honestly come up for yeah self more. And respect yeah self a bit more. Dont just let yea be pushed in a villain role all the time just for having a other view or lived experiences.

Like patriarchy. All it means at basic norms is family first. It does not mean men first. Cause woen where way more safe way more protected in the past then now. All it means family and family first values above all else. So it means being selfish would be punished by society.

Cause your order of duties laid funder then just your self you had a clear responsibility to make your community beter together. So if you would toss trash on the floor people would say something to you. And some else would feel responsible to keep the community clean and safe.

So all patriarchy means is family first and being responsible for more then just yea self what also makes why each side had clear gender roles cause each sex has different strengths and weaknesses. But it also inline what each side found attractive of the other sex. Like in the past there where clear rules of to shown intent.

So women that where single you could see. Women that where in a relationship you could see. And married you could see.

There different ways that was shown. Some had a hair style or color hair clip or type of dress style.

Thats clear on one look knowing everyone's intent is kinda gone. What makes for the many issues.

But also cause clear intent is gone. And everyone thinks 15 different ways of ever single point. What women and feminism blames on men all the time. But its cause they break away from family first values and seek out selfish beliefs of me me me that everyone now a days only feels responsible for them selfs only.

Cause they make the patriarchy to make this evil thing. While its simply you gain from the community? Your expected to give back and bring value back into the community. So you owe other as you are owed your self.

Now a days its people feel like there owed stuff but they never owe anyone anything in return.

What is not how it works. And why values go down.

Cause feminism push that people owe them but they don't owe anyone anything in return.

What is against family first value. What means that men also slowly push for if im owed nothing then I owe you nothing.

Why actually in many ways things are less safe and people don't feel so responsible for others. Even do there millions of cameras everywhere. That helps keep it safe in many ways women feel less safe to walk outside then they did 20 years ago and before when there was more traditional values and more clear intent.

What makes you think right what it means when you owe no one something and so people say no one owe you anything in return really really means.

But thats in short what true patriarchy means and how its build up and how it worked. And what effect it has when you remove it

Hatenfury-VR · 2026-01-13T20:12:29+00:00

If you can't stand your wife's ideas maybe it's time to consider if this is where you want to be or not man.

I couldn't see myself working for and loving a woman who shits on me by proxy of ideology

itspinkynukka · 2026-01-14T06:11:54+00:00

I'll be honest it might've been worth being a conversation before the marriage

Clevererer · 2026-01-14T23:44:26+00:00

I've always found it hilarious that every woman, genuinely and truly, believes she and she alone knows the one actual and true definition of feminism.

TheRingGoesSouth · 2026-01-12T21:48:32+00:00

Maybe she is right from a certain standpoint, but I suspect she only repeats what other people say in order to feel smart. Maybe there is some truth to what she says, but it doesn't matter as she probably doesn't have a solution for the problem. So in the end, it's just endless talking without any effect. That's what I think is going on.

cyb3rfunk · 2026-01-12T17:29:02+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. I think it's a new equivalent of inceldom or fox news people. A group of people trapped in echo chambers that provide a narrative that pins blame for whatever evil they see in the world to a group of people (inceldom: women, fox news: left/immigrants, here: white men).

It's the classical story of people wanting a scape goat...

izmesoundz · 2026-01-12T15:39:49+00:00

Cool story

Title	Just need to vent
Author	lightbenderfm
Upvotes	135
Comments	66
Date	January 12, 2026 3:26 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1qaxspn/just_need_to_vent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/just-need-to-vent.1571006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571006

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