How long did it take to stop thinking about/missing your Ex

ilikeburp · 2026-02-09T19:51:13+00:00

Immediately. My ex wife is evil. Not in the meme way. She tried to ruin me

midlife-madness · 2026-02-08T02:59:54+00:00

From the time I knew we were in trouble and tried to fix it, about a year. I stopped missing her when I finally let her go. This may sound out-there, but I felt such trauma and was in a really bad place. I had a mushroom trip (5grams), and it really let me grieve the loss of the marriage. The loss of my friend. The loss of my old life. I basically cried more than I have ever before. Going through that, on the other side it allowed me to see more of the truth that was there. What was actually happening. What kind of person she is, how she treated me and how it was much less that I deserve to be treated. It allowed me and gave me agency to focus on myself. Group work with other men, being in therapy, taking up old and new hobbies, connecting on a real level with friends and family. To try to be the best version of myself for me. Listing to my inner voice. Uncovering and holding boundaries.

I wish her only the best and would hope we can be cordial with each other, but it’s long over and grieved and I’m ready to move on with my life.

GoldCanvas · 2026-02-07T15:33:22+00:00

The time I left the house for the last time and slept with a new woman. For me, it was 24 hours. Been much better ever since!

LifeBeatsHard · 2026-02-07T10:51:26+00:00

8 months here and still the same as you... thinking and missing her every day - especially when I am eating some new food or in a place I know she would love and we would talk a lot about the experience/taste.

That gap is horrible and mainly the cause of my loneliness these days. In my case, we have not fought or there was nothing wrong (from my perspective, at least)... to make it worse, I helped her to pack everything, I drove her to the airport and hugged the worst hug of my life (not sure why I maybe knew internally what was going to happen). The idea was only for her to spend some time at her mom's house while I was finally finishing work and dealing with visa paperwork for our new country and place. Unfortunately, when I was very happy that all visa was sorted and we could finally schedule her flight ticket to the new place, she turned that into the worst day of my life by saying she would not go to anywhere with me, I never saw her again since that airport day.

So I have been going through good and very bad days. I still have no dreams or plans in life. I spend most of my time on working or exploring the new place. But no friends here, all my workmates have family and always have nice stories about their weekends... and even though I am surely doing the best of my weekend (today I walked 16km through the coast line), I still feel like shit and really miss her.

All the best, mate, I guess a few years for me, if I can ever get over this.

Correct_Mongoose_624 · 2026-02-07T08:30:42+00:00

Immediately- was relieved to be separated and then divorce, and chasing new women.

retired337 · 2026-02-06T23:18:10+00:00

You never will. But it gets easier to deal with

Interesting-Gap7359 · 2026-02-06T21:06:00+00:00

I’m close to 2 years and still think about her. I miss her and will never stop loving her. But we weren’t working and I have to remind myself that choosing to walk away was the right decision for both of us, no matter how hard. Accepting she’ll always have space in your heart is part of the process. In time you’ll think of her less often, but don’t focus on the end goal or trying to forget her. Just take everything day by day and don’t run from what you’re feeling. You’ll only delay your healing.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-02-06T16:19:30+00:00

Been there mate.

It will be about 2 years after divorce. You are just baerly starting. In a few years one Friday you will be driving to work and it will suddenly hit you holy shit I haven't thought about her all week.

From there if you don't have kids you can go months without thinking about her. But there will be things that trigger memories of her, even decades later. These will pass as quickly as they came.

It might help you to understand you do not miss her as a person. You miss your old identity as a husband. You will need the to spend these next 2 years building a new identity for yourself. There is no way to speed up the process, you just have to embrace the suck and carry on. Luckily for you, us men we designed by God to do just exactly that.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2026-02-06T06:56:31+00:00

About a year. Much better. Back to like 70% of my old self. After two years back to around 90%.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-06T05:50:23+00:00

It's not that you will never think of her again. It's that the thoughts change as you heal.
The thoughts move more towards memories of a past that you shared.
In the beginning if you were cheated on the mental gymnastics and rumination to me was all consuming.
You question everything and with trust gone you don't know what to believe.
I could not sleep while we cohabited until she moved out 7 months ago.
She disrupted my nervous system that much.
Since she moved out, my sleep return to normal and I don't wake up anxious with racing thoughts anymore.
Now I still think about her and her AP many times a day as we are still divorcing and have kids but now that I've met a new girlfriend I find I spend much less time thinking about the past.

I want to get to a place where I feel the same for her as for some serious girlfriends I had before I met her 27 years ago.

It all takes time. I want to ask you, what are your plans for making new memories without her?

safetydept · 2026-02-06T04:31:48+00:00

When I started seeing someone new.

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2026-02-06T03:54:59+00:00

In my situation, the moment, we got divorce papers filed (meaning decided to file for divorce not the actual divorce agreement) my mind switched to this is a person that no longer wants me so I’m moving on and this is a business deal now. I am responsible for my happiness and will not let another person dictate my happiness. Life is short and she is only one person in a world of many where I can be with someone that enjoys being with me. Not even talking about marriage or anything like that. I don’t understand your thinking if she had an affair. Move on bro!

NewPerformance7662 · 2026-02-06T03:41:58+00:00

Been divorced for almost two years. It took me about 18 months to realize I was letting this woman live in my head rent-free. The funny thing is, I didn’t actually miss her. Of course I still have my days, but they’re few and far between now.

I have an amazing relationship with my daughter, and I’ve started dating someone who’s truly a breath of fresh air.

All you can do is keep working hard every day. At some point you have to ask yourself: why waste time missing someone who cheated on me? Someone who shared your bed and said “I love you” while already planning their exit?

TheBKing1000 · 2026-02-06T03:32:03+00:00

Sorry man but you need to move on and go find some strange. Get a hobby. Work on being the best man you can be. Mine is dragging feet and still living under the same 1100sq ft apartment rent free for the last 7 months...this shit sucks

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-06T03:32:00+00:00

I'm eight years post-divorce. It took me about a year to get through my reconstruction period.

Invest one year into yourself for self-discovery, renovation and revitalization. Find things that you've always wanted to do, learn and experience and enjoy those things for a year. Develop your skills and knowledge in these things (rock climbing, playing a musical instrument, billiards, etc) and you'll find yourself making more time for them. If you do that well, you’ll have the foundation for a lifetime of happiness.

Then what you'll find is that after this investment in yourself, the women that come into your life won't be competing against other women for your attention. They'll be competing against things that really bring you joy and fulfillment. And it will take a truly exceptional woman to accomplish that.

Signs you are not finished with your post-divorce reconstruction:

You fear being alone.
You seek validation from a partner.
You’re still renting headspace to your ex.

When you no longer need to clutch onto a relationship, and you have your best self to offer, that’s how you know you’re ready. Don’t be surprised to find that you don’t have the time to date once you’ve started enjoying your new found freedom.

Title	How long did it take to stop thinking about/missing your Ex
Author	TheMindfulWarrior9
Upvotes	13
Comments	22
Date	February 6, 2026 3:25 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qx6lbo/how_long_did_it_take_to_stop_thinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-did-it-take-to-stop-thinking-aboutmissing.1572837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572837

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