how often do you see "pick-me" behaviour, both irl and on the internet?

Kreeps_United · 2026-04-08T05:55:48+00:00

Online, all the time. IRL, not that much.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-08T06:34:24+00:00

Yeah, both sexes do it. It just gets framed differently. Women get called pick-me’s for trying to stand out to men, while men do the same thing by pandering, bashing other men, or playing the “I’m different” angle to appeal to women. Same behavior, just labeled differently depending on who’s doing it. The common thread is still trying to gain approval by distancing yourself from your own group.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2026-04-08T10:55:08+00:00

I see it on this sub all the time. And IRL, I've seen (drunken) physical fights between white knights. But I've not seen female pick-me behaviour for a long time.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-08T12:27:39+00:00

I see it online pretty often. Gotta get those clicks. Irl maybe a few true pick mes.

I’ve been called a pick me however because I don’t believe all men are shit and that the vast majority of men are just like the vast majority of men. Mostly neutral qualities that can be judged positively or negatively depending on the observer. With some real toxic tendencies thrown in for spice. There’s a minority of actually shitty people out there. But with 8 billion of us, that can still be “a lot” of people, relatively speaking. Also social media and actual media highlight the shittier behaviors because it gets more clicks and views, making it seem more prevalent than it is.

Foundthecure · 2026-04-09T18:31:28+00:00

I used to see it all. the. time. but this was like 10+ years ago during PEAK femanism in the u.s. plus i was very active in the music scene at the time so all my friends and people i knew were hyper left leaning and many were what you would call "performantive males" and like hard fucking core about it too.

I had friends who were not trans who would wear dresses because they said they "felt cool" but it was all for tumbler clout. such a bizare and cringy point in time. I no longer speak to any of those people.

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avocadolanche3000 · 2026-04-08T13:27:34+00:00

I see it all the time.

But these terms also get overused to the point of just being a blanket insult for anyone who doesn’t fully decenter the opposite sex. As if everyone has a moral obligation to never give men/women a chance or try to understand them or like them.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-08T14:35:55+00:00

Conservatism is pretty common in the US

anewleaf1234 · 2026-04-08T15:03:05+00:00

Sometimes you can call people on their bullshit without trying to get validation. They are just spreading bullshit.

I always find it odd that after you call someone out on their bullshit they claim you are a simp or a WK. "I can't be making horrible arguments, so they must be wrong..."

Calling someone a WK or a simp just seems to be a method of deflection and not reality.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-04-08T22:28:10+00:00

Honestly almost never, but that likely has a lot to do with the circles I hang out in and what kind of shit comes up in my algorithm (lots of queer shit, artsy shit, and clown related shit).

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-08T23:40:40+00:00

I think half of the time "pick-me" is a lazy way out of a discussion and a nasty way to try to enforce compliance with whatever echo chamber you're supposed to belong to, according to people.

You owe nothing to people who happen to have the same set of characteristics as you.

Sure, "not like other women/men" statements often ARE pick me behavior, but it's perfectly fine to distance yourself from behaviors and worldviews you disagree with.

I don't often see real pick me behavior irl, and half of the time someone calls it out online, it wasn't actual pick me behavior to begin with.

Pnina310 · 2026-04-10T05:53:57+00:00

Rarely, once in a blue moon

theminxisback · 2026-04-13T16:48:30+00:00

Offline, all the time. Makes it hard to be around people and keep friends. Online, all the time. Its inescapable

anomalocarus · 2026-04-08T01:34:08+00:00

Ive literally never seen a pick-me or whiteknight situation. I always see people talk about it, but ive never seen it happen with my own eyes.

Title	how often do you see "pick-me" behaviour, both irl and on the internet?
Author	Local-Willingness784
Upvotes	2
Comments	19
Date	April 6, 2026 10:48 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1see8j2/how_often_do_you_see_pickme_behaviour_both_irl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-often-do-you-see-pick-me-behaviour-both-irl.1577414 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577414

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