How do you handle being tested/challenged?

ChicoBrillo · 2026-04-12T22:53:11+00:00

The old advice is "agree and amplify". So if somebody says you're boring youd say "Yeah I'm afraid to leave the house tbh".

Generally though, I just laugh at these kind of comments. It's just banter, nothing to take that seriously, and you should be able to laugh at yourself anyway.

WhoCaresAnyway83 · 2026-04-12T23:41:12+00:00

Agree and escalate

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-04-12T23:33:54+00:00

they are doing it for the sake of doing it

It seems that way, or that’s what I thought too when I first started the journey. It comes so naturally for lots of girls or women that they just throw this kinda shit like it’s nothing to them.

But you gotta look at this from the bright side. This situation is much better than them just saying some one-liner sentences which put you in disadvantages (trying to carry the convo, etc). In reality they do this because they love drama, tensions, and love being playful (even at times at your expense). So don’t take it too seriously.

how can I respond in way not cocky or defensive but still build attraction?

Being witty or quirky requires some skills. If you got caught off guard, just give her your weird face as if she just said some silly/goofy stuff. The point is don’t disagree with them as it will make you sound defensive either way even you don’t intend to.

Or say same templates like “yep, you’re (always) right” or “damn, you know me that well!”. These kinda templates always work whatever they say about you either in positive or a negative lights.

Key-Proud · 2026-04-12T22:48:04+00:00

Don't defend. But instead agree with them.

girl: "As if you aren't now"

Me: "you think I am boring now? You should check me out in bed. I am am piece of plywood"

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-13T00:11:51+00:00

- Sometimes, when it's going really well they'll say something to challenge you, or be contrarian or disagree when it feels like they are doing it for the sake of doing it

You take things to the playground. As in: "that's it, you are now my arch-nemesis", that's it "i hate you" (as a joke, non serious tone).

Because rule number 1 of dealing with women when u are flirting and trying to seduce them is to never taking them seriously at all. The moment you let them get underneath your skin, you start acting like u have to prove u are right and she is wrong, or u try to explain things logically o u become emotionally reactive, u lose.

- Like this one girl i went on a photowalk with, who unprompted told me an objectively great photo I got of a hawk taking flight wasn't really impressive.

You simply can say: "omg that's it im spanking you, you silly girl" or acting like a mister drama king in an exxagerated way "UHHHHH!! How. Dare. Youuuuuu!. That's it, im not taking you to dinseyland anymore"

It doesn't have to be logical because the point is to deliberately act non serious about it to show you don't give a shit, and are just playing. That's ironically when a woman can feel safe with you, because it shows you don't let her influence your emotional behavior or get triggered easily which is the most masculine thing you can show.

Jironasaurus · 2026-04-13T00:16:39+00:00

A few solutions actually. But the key to every solution is to simply be unshakeable. Meaning, it does not trigger you or hurt your ego in any manner at all. And you can achieve that by:

Remaining humble
Flipping it on her through reframing
Agree and amplify (personally, I don't care for this very much. It also becomes very obvious when you keep doing it with each test)
Using it as an opportunity to build togetherness

So with your example, the first one would look like this:

HER: "Your photo really isn't that impressive"
YOU: "Well, you win some, you lose some. Who knows, I might take an amazing one later"

Second one would be something like this:

HER: "Your photo really isn't that impressive"
YOU: "I know I know, you're intensely jealous right now. Let me teach you how to take award winning photos..."

Play this out with a cheeky smile and just be fun. Don't ever be serious. Serious just means you are affected.

Third one:

HER: "Your photo really isn't that impressive"
YOU: "You are right. It's the worst! Please, show me how you do it, Master. Show me now"

Again, fun and playful. The later part of this response is basically (2), where you flip it on her and challenge her back.

Last one:

HER: "Your photo really isn't that impressive"
YOU: "Maybe you can help me then. We'll take winning shots together. And then we'll submit to Nat Geo magazine and become world famous photographers..."

Instead of seeing her as antagonistic, turn that around and make it all about teamwork. This works very well because it shows her you aren't affected, subtly implies you're all about being an ally rather than competitor, and also encourages her to play along with you.

GreggJ · 2026-04-12T22:44:42+00:00

General principle of life:

Take people's words for it. If they tell you you're boring, you need to ask yourself if you wanna be with a person that considers you boring. If not, let her go. If so, I question your self esteem and self respect, but you do you.

If they disagree with you, continue asking her questions to see what her point of view is, and see if it's a deal breaker, etc.

If you discover she was not being truthful, ask yourself if you wanna be with a person that is not truthful when she feels like it. If not, move on. If so, I question your self respect, but you do you.

Very simple really

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-04-12T23:50:38+00:00

Lookup how to pass shit tests

CTEcowboi · 2026-04-12T23:16:03+00:00

Laugh at them

georgeofthejungle71 · 2026-04-13T00:06:22+00:00

Depends... If it's an off the cuff joke and a one time thing, laugh it off and carry on.

If it becomes a trend, you can either call them out on it and ask why are you being so negative to me etc, or just move on. When I was younger I'd have cared a lot. Now that I'm in my fifties and, it feels like things have reversed with women being pretty easy, if a woman is doing that to me, call her out on it and if she digs in on it and won't acknowledge it was crappy I end things and move on. I'm too old to play games. Wish I had valued myself more when I was younger.

SpiritedExercise7164 · 2026-04-13T01:29:39+00:00

This is play behavior. I think it's called flirting???

These are the best kind of girls to be with. I will very quickly get bored if I'm not challenged and being kept on my toes.

TubbsMcGee_ · 2026-04-13T03:11:06+00:00

Hold frame, don’t justify, reply with flirty/funny remarks, exaggerate a bit and be unbothered. Example to what she said to you: “Well it was used on the cover of a natgeo magazine but yeah I’m sure you could totally do better” say with with a sly smile/jest at her.

HauntingAsparagus2 · 2026-04-13T10:59:55+00:00

I think its also important to know when to cut things off with a girl if shes being too difficult

If they overdo it or test above their worth, i let them go. This shit is supposed to be fun

Miss_Galoldriel · 2026-04-13T12:37:38+00:00

If a man says anything like that to me, I'm out of there. It's crappy behavior and an instant turn off.

Edit for clarification: If you accept behavior like that just to get in someone's pants, you're going to look like a person who doesn't have standards and will let people walk all over you without showing them any consequence. You can of course choose not to care what they think, but if you keep on taking their crap, you're sending yourself the same message.

1slycoyote · 2026-04-13T03:15:33+00:00

They aren't worth being with.

Title	How do you handle being tested/challenged?
Author	W127nb1wd3bW1wd1
Upvotes	18
Comments	22
Date	April 12, 2026 10:36 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sjswzq/how_do_you_handle_being_testedchallenged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-handle-being-testedchallenged.1577799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577799

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