About 18 months into a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. She cheated. I won't go into it but if you've been there you know what it does to you. I was in a really dark place for a long time, darker than I let on to most people around me.

Writing this because about a month ago I met someone. Been on a few dates before her and felt nothing, genuinely couldn't be bothered. Then this woman turns up and she's kind, funny, really pretty, we like the same music, share the same values, sex is great. We're both in our 50s. I actually feel like myself again.

But here's what I want to say to anyone reading this who's in the middle of it. She isn't the reason I feel better. She's a bonus. I started feeling better before I met her, when I stopped waiting around and started doing stuff. Gym. Swimming. Took six months and went travelling to get my head sorted. By the time she came along I was already in a betterr if not decent place.

So if you're newly separated or staring it down or a year in and still feel like you're underwater, it does get better. Not overnight, and not because someone saves you. You do yiu and then life opens up again.

Be kind to yourselves. You're good men. You'll be alright