Long time lurker , first time poster.
I ‘m married since 11 years, with two boys and a house. Three weeks ago my wife asked for divorce. We had lasting difficulties in our relationship, but nothing deal breaking in my opinion (no infidelity or violence). She blamed me 100% for the situation, saying I was emotionally unavailable, that my swiping the house was badly done, and that I forgot sometimes to dry the sponge after cleaning.I won’t lie, it felt like gaslighting, but I still acknowledged my part. I am in no way a perfect husband, even if I contribute more than her both financially and in tasks.
Three weeks pass by, we are still under the same roof and working out, albeit slowly, the logistics of our separation. I did notice her change in attitude. She kept her phone close, changed the code, texted all the time, and went out every night while I kept the kids. Deep down I knew, but I only accepted it when a sms on her ipad mentioned an ongoing affair, way prior our breakup.
Turns out cheating and monkey branching is not just a concept, but a very real concept I couldn’t fathom the woman I loved capable off.
I am angry. I am sad. I am disappointed with my judgement. And I wonder, how to coparent with an untrustworthy ex wife, who has shown she is capable of putting her own pleasure before her kids?