My only regret.

Jwoot1111 · 2026-06-08T12:22:58+00:00

I think this is common. I also would have left when she got her DV. But I didn’t.

If I had, I’m sure I’d always wonder if it was fixable and blame myself for the damage the divorce did to the kids.

I’m 1 year post her dv and things are somewhat better but she is slipping back into the drinking.

DependentBeat1205 · 2026-06-08T04:11:03+00:00

If you have not done so you should tell your parents the truth or a PG version of what happened so that they will stop wondering what happened and trying to “fix” the problem. They could also run interference for you with the family.

DependentBeat1205 · 2026-06-05T15:37:56+00:00

I read your posts and I must commend your grace in handling the divorce. If I were in your shoes I would have scorched the earth. I would have told FIL, FB’s wife, friends and family the reason why we’re separated.

If FB’s wife is unaware that her husband is cheating on her, I would let her know after the divorce was settled. Anyone who is being cheated deserves to know the truth.

There is nothing you need to regret. You did what you thought was best at the time.

Just-aMidwestGuy · 2026-06-05T11:57:20+00:00

We can’t change the past. And no reason to dwell on it. Eyes forward friend, live your best life.

Admirable-Builder788 · 2026-06-05T03:47:52+00:00

I feel that. I was given the ultimatum of "let me find another woman so I can explore my sexuality or I'll kick you out of the house you paid for, divorce you, and take your son". That was 3 years ago, and now I'm in a high Conflict Divorce with her saying every false accusation she can against me, and while I have the proof and submitted the proof proving she's lying, its still overwhelmingly exhausting and soul crushing.

tonyway7293 · 2026-06-05T02:03:32+00:00

“You are deploying soon… you should get a hall pass to have sex with other women… you are coming home to me anyway so why not?”

“I have a fantasy where you watch me have sex with another man”

“My co-worker Matt says he jerks off to the thought of me”

And a bunch of other MAJOR red flags all within a very short abrupt timeline when she started losing weight on a GLP-1.

10 years together, 5 married, no kids (THANKFULLY).

Finally laid it all out that I have been paying attention and it won’t be tolerated. She instantly filed for divorce.

She isn’t with a guy which is a bit bizarre. She abruptly left a beautiful home (which I got to keep) to a crappy 2nd floor rental and is on all the dating apps.

I guess she just wanted to be a whore at 35 after losing some weight? FOMO on exotic D?

Good riddance!

Firm_Enthusiasm4271 · 2026-06-05T18:06:23+00:00

You were trying to hang on and hope she would change, dont blame yourself, please allow yourself to heal

cleanstart2026 · 2026-06-05T01:54:54+00:00

Same hear it was our 2nd year on it and she mentioned that I should of dipped out and saved me from alimony

Maseworld · 2026-06-05T00:07:58+00:00

She'll will/has recovered. Got what she wanted. Now you, good luck, brother.

UrAristotle · 2026-06-04T23:55:44+00:00

I regret not kicking her out the night she told me about her affair. I somehow thought I could salvage things.

Never again.

funnyman6979 · 2026-06-04T23:54:33+00:00

Agree, I know there may be zero to latch onto but I can tell you I didn’t know my ex thought it was acceptable to have an open marriage.

I recall saying why couldn’t you just be honest it wasn’t like I was pulling in CEO pay at the time but just be human.

Bar was set too high apparently

Thanks for sharing, I have a point too I think about which was affair number one should have been it. All she did was make an even larger mess and I have to wonder still today what those extra four months cost me aside from financially, but when I tried to pack it got very ugly and unfair still is really.

JayRock1970 · 2026-06-04T23:50:17+00:00

Mine asked for ethical non-manogamy 6 weeks after our honeymoon. My answer was f'k no. She told me she was leaving the next day. Left and completely ghosted me. Didn't even know where she went. 1 year out, divorce is almost finalized.

I ain't sitting at home while my wife, who I married because she said she wanted to feel loved and safe, goes out and gets ravaged my other men (or women). F'k that. She can go live her hedonist lifestyle see where it takes her.

Rare_Psychology_8853 · 2026-06-04T23:18:03+00:00

There are hundreds of similar stories. r/openmarriageregret

No-Succotash6237 · 2026-06-04T23:15:23+00:00

Everywoman I know that has ever asked for an open relationship has already cheated.

IrresponsibleInsect · 2026-06-04T23:13:40+00:00

Mine tried that and I was like, TF no.

I was a controlling narcissist then for letting "letting her be who she wanted to be." Go figure.
Who she wanted to be was not a married mother of 7.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-06-04T22:54:59+00:00

There are lots of men here that wish they did not do the pick me dance and just filed earlier to get it over with.

Not sure why people ever think opening a marriage would be a good idea.

Title	My only regret.
Author	General_Luck2963
Upvotes	89
Comments	44
Date	June 4, 2026 10:48 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tx36wu/my_only_regret/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-only-regret.1582088 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582088

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