Ex Dating a black guy

RespectInevitable479 · 2026-07-03T10:39:26+00:00

Let her go she’s an ex for a reason

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2026-07-02T13:41:42+00:00

Hey man, congratulations on discovering an unconscious racial bias. We all have ‘em, and they often bring up conflict between who we think we’re supposed to be and what we feel. I’m not saying it’s good, but you can address it.

Would you find something to latch on to about any guy your ex was dating? Likely. It just happens that you are fixation on race.

You don’t have to like him. But the response to racism shouldn’t be colorblindness, it should be anti-racism. Race is a thing, it exists, and when we try to say that it doesn’t matter we get caught up in our heads because, guess what, it does matter.

So we have to grapple with the cognitive dissonance of a truth (race is a social construct that is a real thing in our society, we all have different lived experiences based on how we’ve experienced society because of our race, there are real and meaningful cultural differences between people of different races and ethnicities) and an erroneous belief (if I pretend I don’t see race and treat everyone the same, I will be a good not-racist person and get a pat on the head).

Look into active anti-racism (the Kendi book, groups like SURJ).

And then you can say “Fuck this asshole in particular” instead of “Fuck this [racial slur].”

TypicalOcelot7933 · 2026-06-29T04:12:18+00:00

Is there an age gap between the two? Could that be bothering you as well?

iSkeetOnFeet · 2026-06-23T06:37:26+00:00

She's taking the soul pole bro. Just imagine she's getting railed by foot longs all day and it will accelerate your healing. She belongs to the streets now.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-22T23:58:49+00:00

The first step to working on it is acknowledging you feel it and being honest with yourself about. Your doing a great job. You know its not healthy, you realise its hypocritical to think this way, and you arent excusing yourself for thinking racist thoughts. In fact you are trying to figure out where they come from and how to stop them. Thats more than most people do.

You can give yourself a little grace because you are clearly in an emotionally volatile place right now and none of us were really thinking straight for a while when our exes left us.

I think bring it up with your therapist, i think that her being a woman of colour might actually help you in this case if you otherwise value her input and she has a good idea of your character.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-06-22T22:08:31+00:00

I would have thought that any color of dick would have been good enough to be totally disgusted but because this is not enough for you I would strongly suggest a different therapist. Sometimes you have to 'shop' around until you get a therapist that can help you to find out how to move on. Plus find out what you want out of therapy as there are various specialties within the field like CBT, ACT, psychoanalists etc.

Few-Leading6107 · 2026-06-22T17:41:49+00:00

Hey I seen your responses and also seen you said 28 years of marriage,yeah that tuff brother but honestly her with a black guy I don’t think is racist it’s probably her wanting to try something different out of her life especially with the same guy for 28 years honestly I suggest you do the same and try something different it’s probably best and you might like all the different things you try out there but Godspeed as hard as it is I just say think about the positives more then the negatives the biggest positive one you really have is freedom

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-06-22T16:03:23+00:00

Nothing wrong with you brother. We get it.

Its like if she gets together with a richer dude or a dude with a bigger dick.

But what you should be feeling is indifference. You aren't with her anymore. You still need to heal from that scar.

Sammi-416 · 2026-06-22T13:37:39+00:00

🫵🏾😂😂😂

Wooden_Back_7900 · 2026-06-22T12:07:26+00:00

I want to bring this up in therapy but my therapist is not white. I don't want her to think I'm a racist.

Key_Display_4189 · 2026-06-22T10:44:41+00:00

What does appointment hipocracy on race exactly mean?

The_Okay_Baboo · 2026-06-22T10:41:09+00:00

I think this is my favorite reddit post. Thank you for sharing. I definitely will be checking back in later. LOL

intheyarbles · 2026-06-22T10:36:29+00:00

rodogwos · 2026-06-22T10:33:00+00:00

At least you now have all the closure you need

ProSurgeryAccount · 2026-06-22T10:30:46+00:00

Why do you care about his race, weirdo?

federally · 2026-06-22T10:29:42+00:00

You should delete this and figure out WTF is wrong with you

Title	Ex Dating a black guy
Author	Wooden_Back_7900
Upvotes	0
Comments	41
Date	June 22, 2026 10:26 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ucgu1l/ex_dating_a_black_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-dating-a-black-guy.1583366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583366

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