I wouldn't marry him until he paid off his debt, now I'm in charge of our money - BBC News - If the genders were reversed, it would be classified as financial abuse...

No_Industry_4948 · 2026-07-17T02:36:42+00:00

99% of all MRA arguments are centered on "reverse the genders" to point out the hypocritical double standards. Yet somehow MRA is a misogynist hate group and cornerstone of the "Manosphere".

Irrelephantitus · 2026-07-17T04:26:32+00:00

The only thing weird going on in the article is how little he was in debt before she would marry him, I thought it would be like 60k of debt for a student loan or something not a 4k car loan.

That being said there's nothing wrong with one or the other person dealing with the budget as long as it's not abusive.

My wife and I could both be better with money and I hate dealing with it I would love a wife who would handle everything financial and just tell me when I can afford something or how much overtime I need to work for the next family vacation.

IAPiratesFan · 2026-07-17T10:11:54+00:00

Dave Ramsey got a call 3 months ago from a woman whose boyfriend said he wouldn’t marry her until she was debt free. He told her to dump him because she has to prove herself financially and she’s a princess and deserves better. https://youtu.be/SwxuiHeI7RQ?is=zd08CK12EtbxRuZk

But if you read the whole article here, it was actually pretty good because they talk about the couple working together to achieve financial goals, very important for couples who are getting married. In the article the guy had to achieve something before marriage and she was able to gauge if he was serious or not. People who want a stable marriage financially should be getting their partner to get on the same page.

djc_tech · 2026-07-17T14:52:02+00:00

I mean it's her choice. I've not gotten serious with women who had a lot of debt. I don't want to be responsible for buying everything and paying all the time.

I agree if a guy said this he would be torn apart by feminists. but what is good for the goose is good for the gander. I'll dump someone or not marry them if I know they're in tons of debt.

IceCorrect · 2026-07-17T09:06:02+00:00

It was normal for 50+ couples, where husband work and give all his paycheck to wife. Yet feminism with its propaganda was strong enough to change narrative

mrmensplights · 2026-07-18T08:06:04+00:00

For some strange reason most commenters can't seem to engage with ops thesis and instead rambling on about anecdotes. Truly bizarre.

elebrin · 2026-07-17T13:29:23+00:00

Well, a marriage is supposed to be a partnership and the lines of the partnership should be flexible and negotiable upfront, but pretty static after they are set and the ceremony completed. I don't see a problem in a couple choosing to have one partner manage the money. They did negotiate this before getting married, so... there you go. And he seems cool with it.

What bothers me is that he was clearly making better money decisions: staying at home, only having one fairly small loan (in dollars, that 4000 pounds is a little more than $5k), small rent payment... whatever. She had a mortgage and wasn't sharing any bills/resources with anyone which is always more expensive. Not only that, but his income was higher and he had a fulltime job, compared to her part time job.

I can also guarantee you that she isn't all THAT great with money, from this line alone:

have made regular overpayments on their mortgage

This is a massive failure to understand how mortgages work. You want to pay them off as slowly as possible unless your rate is really bad. If the rate IS bad, you refi as soon as you can get a better rate.

But, turnabout should be fair play and it should be fine if the man in the relationship is the person who is good with money.

CatchPhraze · 2026-07-17T11:58:26+00:00

"Sarah wishes Lee would take more ownership as "I feel like it's all down to me", she says.

She says Lee is not money-orientated and is happy for her to make the decisions"

Now it's only her interviewed here, but if you read the story at face value, her doing the balancing is his idea at his insistance.

Did you guys read the article?

mr_j_12 · 2026-07-18T00:53:40+00:00

That in australia is domestic abuse by law. If the roles were reversed he'd end up on an order, AND she would receive government assistance (plus possibly from work if she works for woolworths/one of their companies).

DamodarJustin · 2026-07-18T19:12:55+00:00

Anyone really wonders why such draconian laws are in place to give so much power to women? Like what is the point of having women walk away from a mariage and still get everything. HTF does it not incentivise men to just go live in jail instead of continuously feeding gold diggers.

Joneboy39 · 2026-07-17T18:24:10+00:00

meanwhile his debt was probably paying off her school loans or something lol

udkudk1 · 2026-07-17T08:32:40+00:00

This depends a lot on the Context. There's no "one-size-fits-all" approach to Money Management in a Marriage. The important thing is that secret Financial Shenanigans doesn't happen, and the System is implemented to allow a Logical amount of to be available for Separate Spending for Hobbies etc for both Sides without the need for Permission from other Side. (This is important, because Both Sides will have their own independent Want's that the Other Sides doesn't want, and you still need to allow a reasonable amount for Mental Health of the Relationship)

pargofan · 2026-07-17T05:50:03+00:00

I don't think this financial abuse. Even if genders were reversed.

Slow_Outcum420 · 2026-07-17T17:38:08+00:00

Holy god this sub...

Latter-Ad-689 · 2026-07-17T17:35:52+00:00

If the genders were reversed and she said to him, "I'm no good with money, you handle it"; there'd still be nothing to see, and you'd still have grievance merchants complaining it counts as abuse.

Title	I wouldn't marry him until he paid off his debt, now I'm in charge of our money - BBC News - If the genders were reversed, it would be classified as financial abuse...
Author	BaconCatBug
Upvotes	682
Comments	52
Date	July 17, 2026 1:07 AM UTC (5 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1uyl7k2/i_wouldnt_marry_him_until_he_paid_off_his_debt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-wouldnt-marry-him-until-he-paid-off-his-debt-now.1585221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585221

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