How to stop obsessing/thinking about a particular girl

Back2theCouture · 2026-07-25T17:50:18+00:00

Typically the damage is already done once you put her on the pedestal then you start catching feelings.

Obsession is not the actual problem, it’s the output of the problem. It’s like obesity is the output of the problem, but it becomes too late when you don’t watch what you eat assuming everything will stay the same. Once you see the scale and you’re up 10 pounds, you panic. But you did things that caused that months before you step on the scale.

Same thing with obsession or onetitis. Go back to when you first met her. Pull up your memory of how you treated her and how she treated you. You regularly over invested and she’s underinvested. It’s become a pattern. That’s where it began. What you’re dealing now is just the culmination of all that.

Wolfang_von_Caelid · 2026-07-25T20:50:56+00:00

Unironically, and I don't mean this in a belittling way, the answer is to "grow up." As in, you're a fully fleshed-out human being with hobbies (that aren't DnD or vidya), an active social life, and a decent job. If you have those, it's really difficult to get hung up on a chick, because you're already fairly busy, but more importantly, you have a social circle that guarantees that you have opportunities to meet new people somewhat frequently.

Once you meet new girls somewhat frequently (this does not require going out every weekend, you just need some level of experience with women), you start to see patterns, and that realization makes you understand that 90% of above-average girls are damn near cookie-cutter replicas; they have literally no hobbies outside of "I want to spend your money" (they call this "I love traveling/adventures") and socializing (and to be frank, I wouldn't consider either of those a "hobby," yes even traveling, it's called vacation, that is not a hobby). That's it. It's hard to put a person like that on a pedestal just because they're pretty.

You become much more picky as far as women go; sure, I'd bang a standard hot girl that has nothing going on, but that's it. The girls who are both attractive AND actually have real hobbies/are pursuing a career that isn't an email job are truly rare. They are so rare that you'll realistically be able to "practice" your social interactions a lot before ever meeting one (and the only way to tell is to actually be able to hold a good conversation anyway).

plz_callme_swarley · 2026-07-25T22:53:32+00:00

you need to stop thinking that you lost it cuz of something you did or didn't do. it's nothing you did, it's all about her.

the reason it didn't work out is cuz she's not into you enough. the right girl will stay and be obsessed with you

PrinceDestin · 2026-07-25T19:27:33+00:00

Talking to other women ain’t always the fix
To that as others stated because even I when I see and be with women all week sometimes there’s that one I can’t stop thinking about, what helps me stop feeling this way is either just self sabotage or understanding she’s not as perfect for me as I think and it’s all in my head

It’s
More important to find the value in yourself and find the value in just the experience of life, if you have a massive crush on this woman don’t be corny but show your intentions and get it over with because the long you wait you let the feelings build up and she might not have ever liked you

If she don’t like you accept that L take the time to process, she may be still on your
Mind but submit
Yourself to time to rejuvenate your mind

There were times I just acknowledge how I’m feeling and throw a small tantrum maybe it’s
Me screaming in my car for a brief moment or punch my pillow like I’m some teenager or play my guitar while thinking of my feelings

Then I just come back to reality and then k realize it doesn’t matter , moment I step outside I see a beautiful women and I’m like damn she fine next thing I know she ain’t on my mind

Matter_Still · 2026-07-25T23:35:01+00:00

You must realize that a lazer-like focus on one girl (or woman) can result—and has—for many in a fulfilling relationship that could last for years or a lifetime.

This adversion to “catching feelings” as if it is a virus to be avoided or treated is a relatively new development.

One of the feelings you “catch” if you’ve invested in the right woman is a feeling of peace, the kind that comes when you know your days and night in the bloodsport of dating are a thing of the past.

Unless you’ve had that you cannot know how delightful it is to just get on the phone and say something like, “Feel like going to Mario’s in Long Beach a little later?” or to say, equally as casually, “I’d like to cash in that rain check from the night you had to stay with your crazy sister.”

That kind of hassle-free existence cannot come if you are unwilling to obsess somewhat about a girl, and for me it’s one that beats the hell out of cruising clubs or bars, swiping right on a profile, and waiting for a text to be answered.

Accomplished_Egg_928 · 2026-07-25T17:33:43+00:00

Talk to other girls as you said. The more you do, the easier it gets. I find reasons not to like them, typically reasons that I was blinded by, like that fact she doesn't respect me or any ref flags you previously ignored.

MediumLanguageModel · 2026-07-25T23:30:48+00:00

I heard an interesting technique. Give yourself an allowance of five crushes. The server at the restaurant you frequent, your coworker, the girl you smile at when walking the dog... whoever you see on a semi-regular basis. If a new crush comes along, someone gets knocked off the list.

That way you don't get too caught up in any particular one.

OrlandoLasso · 2026-07-26T04:40:10+00:00

This reminds me of a quote from Star Trek. "You'll meet her; and you'll know it's wrong from the first moment you see her; you'll know there's nothing you can do about it."

cpowers272 · 2026-07-26T00:06:38+00:00

She’s moaning another man’s name right now get over it

Silver-Snow-9305 · 2026-07-25T23:43:18+00:00

No don’t talk to other girls,

No_Storage3196 · 2026-07-25T21:08:15+00:00

Approach 50 girls a week

Title	How to stop obsessing/thinking about a particular girl
Author	justaydogg
Upvotes	47
Comments	18
Date	July 25, 2026 4:27 PM UTC (18 hours ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1v6ct0k/how_to_stop_obsessingthinking_about_a_particular/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-obsessingthinking-about-a-particular.1585940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585940

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