Brutally put down new LTR and she started crying.

Stayinghereforreal · 2015-09-10T15:08:24+00:00

Uh, yeah, you might need to work on your LTR maintenance skills, because you pretty much blew that one apart.

Telling an LTR you don't care about her, and that she is utterly and completely replaceable to you in mere minutes is a great way to end things. Letting them have a sense you have options, and that you select them for their good qualities, is what you want to develop.

Stating what you said just hurts like hell, and makes them want to leave. Which is what she did. I would tell her to move on after that if I were her brother.

abdada · 2015-09-10T15:12:23+00:00

Better to put this in your frame.

"I don't care that he texts you."

Why not???

"Weak guys do that when we are lonely and horny. Text all their exes and see who is the easiest. You're better than those skanks."

Then take her to bed.

leftajar · 2015-09-10T15:37:49+00:00

Oh jeez. Instilling dread is a bit like showing off wealth, in that IT HAS TO BE DONE PASSIVELY.

It's the difference between driving a 5-series BMW to meet her and then NOT buying her drinks, vs. telling her, "I have 200 grand in my 401k! Don't you like my car? Don't you?"

For dread, you don't SAY she's replaceable! Especially not in a crass way like that. Just imply it through your attitude.

Archwinger · 2015-09-10T19:29:16+00:00

You did the right thing without knowing it. You turned your "LTR" into a plate, which is where she belongs. With a partner count of 10-15 (but only one previous boyfriend of any significance), you know you're dealing with a slut. And she's pussying around keeping her ex boyfriend on the back-burner.

Now, if you were trying to maintain a successful relationship with this woman, you fucked up. But why were you trying to maintain a successful relationship with this one again? Is she unique or special or something? Does her vagina produce diamonds?

Don't you think there's another woman out there who's every bit as good as this one is, but without the slutty past and without the pussying around with her ex?

Also: She's lying to you. An ex-boyfriend that she hasn't heard a peep from in months and hasn't been communicating with at all, for 7-8 months, does not begin a text with: "Hey babe, got plans..."

TopTRP · 2015-09-10T15:29:55+00:00

I look up from my tablet and said, "Yea don't worry, I dont care."

This is good.

Unprompted, "What do you mean you don't care?"

"Well if you decided to go back to him tonight, I could have a another girl over here (glace at clock) before 10 to suck my dick." I got up walked over and picked up my phone looked her in the eye and said, "Should I?"

You're line of thinking is right, this is a great opportunity to employ dread. However, this was too rough. It's also bordering on showing signs of being upset. "Oh you're texting your ex? Well then I'm going to call a girl over here to suck my dick!"

Since this is an LTR I would have gone with something like.

"I don't care because you're doing me a favor. It's better I find out if you're that kind of girl now rather than later so I don't waste my time and can move on to someone more in line with what I want."

This shows indifference, puts her in a position of having to qualify herself to you and let's her know that if she doesn't behave she's gone.

boomshokalocka · 2015-09-10T20:03:59+00:00

Everybody is killing you for nuking this, but they're missing that she is definitely lying to you. If she hasn't seen or spoken to him in 4 months, her ex would not be texting her "Hey babe, got plans..." Lesson learned and you are probably better off.

Raidicus · 2015-09-10T20:54:24+00:00

This is why TRP doesn't work for a lot of people. They think they're being alpha, and really they're just being huge fucking assholes.

You fucked this up extremely badly, and you should try to apologize.

RedPillJax · 2015-09-10T16:52:05+00:00

You.. wow.

I don't know how long you've been reading TRP, but this kind of thing is very, very common with guys in relationships who discover TRP, or TRP guys trying an LTR with RP lenses for the first time.

Essentially, you ratcheted up a 2/10 situation into a 12/10 one, real fast. Dread, OI, and abundance mentality - which is what I think you were trying to do here - are things you should get across without having to say them. If you have to tell your LTR that you have options, you've already lost. She should just know that because of your high SMV and desirability on the SMP, you could replace her in a heartbeat.

I cant be sure she didn't leave and go fuck her ex, or some random

You're hamstering hard here, man. You blew up a situation. If you're dating her, you must think she's a high-value woman. If she's going to go out and get fucked by Chad just because of this, you're better off without her anyway. AWALT and hypergamy are real, but this is just making something out of not a whole lot, in my mind.

Could her ex have been texting her to fuck? Oh yeah.

Could he just be trying to see her? Maybe.

The better approach would've been to stay in frame, and later root through her phone when she's asleep / in the shower to verify what's going on, and act from there.

FrameWalker · 2015-09-10T15:48:27+00:00

Remember, dread needs to be communicated COVERTLY. You were a too rough yeah, but this girl was playing with fire. LTRs don't keep in contact with exes. For all you know this girl was on the verge of cheating on you or already doing so. Hard punishment is good, and I support you.

/u/stayinghereforreal offers a smoother way to do it.

bertmaklinFBI · 2015-09-10T15:46:41+00:00

An hour goes by and out of nowhere she says, "he was just trying to see me, I've not spoken to him since we got together." Completely unprompted.

This is good.

I look up from my tablet and said, "Yea don't worry, I dont care."

This is where you fucked up. All you simply had to do was to say "Cool", "No worries", "Ok".

"Well if you decided to go back to him tonight, I could have a another girl over here (glace at clock) before 10 to suck my dick." I got up walked over and picked up my phone looked her in the eye and said, "Should I?"

Then you escalated and made a big deal out of nothing. She wasn't shit testing you. It was a comfort test. You bombed by making it that you dont care about HER instead of framing it as you dont care about HIM TEXTING HER. And you look stupid saying you don't care and then going into a diatribe about how you are going to call other chicks and give her an ultimatum. You want to reward good behavior. She told you her ex was texting her unprovoked. That's good. Instead you gave her shit. You are basically reinforcing (negatively) her to lie by omission going forward.

To summarize: You should have just said "Ok, I don't care that he texted you. I trust you to handle this"

thor_away92 · 2015-09-10T17:44:35+00:00

OP I honestly think she was just being fair and letting her master know. Most broads would have been all "y u read my phone"

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-09-10T17:03:32+00:00

Ask her if she's gonna come suck your dick, or if you should call someone else.

griefpickle · 2015-09-10T19:38:58+00:00

Wowwww, that was pretty damned passive aggressive :|

"What do you mean you don't care?"

A great response would have been: "You're a big girl, and I don't have any reason not to trust you so why waste time worrying about it? Thanks for the drink, babe"

You would have had her crawling all over you within 10 seconds of finishing that sentence.

SkorchZang · 2015-09-11T10:51:38+00:00

Fantastic reaction there bro, balls of steel. It was brutal, but she 100% deserved and needed brutal.

My advice is, just sit tight and let her come back to you. When she does, be sweet and welcoming. Don't bring up what happened, let her bring it up... Your position is, she's welcome to come, she's welcome to go, you're happy to see her either way. It's what makes the RP way different from pure cold hearted apathy.

Keep in mind that the teary exit and emotional flare up she displayed is perfectly compatible with her actually spinning something up with the ex. Not saying that she is, I don't know that. But I am saying that just because she got deeply offended does not mean she is innocent.

You struck right in the girly heart with your RP rapier, demonstrating she is not special. When she comes back and wants to be special, tell her that "special girls block their ex's and don't let them ruin their personal growth and future relationships by always hanging around in the periphery. But it's your choice, babe, just saying". Snuggle her, fuck her good, and all will be well.

Indignation and emotions like this, connected to all their insecurities, are fundamentally good for women. It's her rollercoaster ride, and the dips need to take her breath away as hard as the rises, or else it's a boring ride.

Wrong_Opinion · 2015-09-10T19:02:54+00:00

Congratulations, you nuked a mosquito and the LTR you liked just turned into a smoking crater.

Oh well, now you've learned. Go find another one, you've filled her with so much dread I doubt she's ever going to feel safe around you again.

BrajScience · 2015-09-10T22:06:46+00:00

Probably too late. Honestly I liked your response right up until you said this:

"Well if you decided to go back to him tonight, I could have a another girl over here (glace at clock) before 10 to suck my dick." I got up walked over and picked up my phone looked her in the eye and said, "Should I?"

Should have said something like "I just don't care. I'm not worried about it. I don't know, it is what it is."

dandar4600 · 2015-09-10T16:58:14+00:00

I cant be sure she didn't leave and go fuck her ex, or some random or just went back to hers and cried some more.

I totally wouldn't be surprised if she fucked someone that night. In contact with an ex, emotional, etc. She hadn't spoken to him in months and suddenly he has plans and wants to include her in them? I call bull shit.

That said you overcompensated with the nuclear dread because you were angry. I don't blame you for being angry, I would have been angry too. Now if you do contact her (cause you could soft next until she contacts you,) you have to be careful coming off as a supplicating beta bitch. If you do apologize, only say it once and then move on.

to_say_the_i · 2015-09-10T19:27:50+00:00

Keep it light and fun, like "oh another guy hitting on you? Can't blame him. Good on that guy for trying" shit eating grin. It conveys that you're not threatened, while boosting her up and making her feel good. What you said was absolutely savage, sure, but it's the opposite of abundance mentality because a secure person does not lash out like that. Additionally, next time she will take additional action to hide that guys are hitting on her if she thinks you're going to be a bitch about it. I would actually suggest apologizing for this ASAP and looking deep into the reasons you felt the need to act how you did.

CuntyMcFagNuts69 · 2015-09-10T20:22:07+00:00

Dread game is like seasoning on a steak, it's not the actual steak. People here often go huge with Dread and turn it into the meal. What you need to do is season your relationship with Dread. You went nuclear and that was way too much for one sitting.

Instead try lines like, I don't care, it's better I found out what type of girl you really are early on.

Don't tell a girl she's a cunt, imply to her that her behavior is cunt like

Hunter2isit · 2015-09-10T20:47:17+00:00

What is the over / under that they are done?

JeanValjean197o · 2015-09-11T04:46:19+00:00

Don't text her yet.

If she had evidence that shows she wasn't cheating then she would have showed you the texts.

It's clear she's receiving texts from an ex who calls her "babe". That's not appropriate and she should have to explain that.

She was crying because that's one of women's go to relationship weapons.

What did you do wrong? You didn't cheat. You didn't accuse her of cheating. You simply let her know that if you lost her it wouldn't ruin your world.

Is that failing a comfort test? Probably. But in the context of her receiving texts from an ex calling her "babe" it's on her to prove her fidelity. She has no right to comfort when her behavior is suspect.

And to be clear here, it is not appropriate for a woman who is committed to allow her ex to call her babe. She's not his babe anymore and allowing the term implies a familiarity and intimacy which he is not entitled to anymore.

You've done nothing wrong. Yes, you were hard, but she could have talked to you and clarified things. Instead, she started crying. Crying (in this context) is manipulation and it's purpose is to hide the truth.

Let it go for now. If she wants to keep you then she'll want to talk. You'll know if she's serious if she is respectful. However, if she's crying and calling you names and accusing you then she's proven that she's not worth it.

If she doesn't call in the next few days then move on.

wont_tell_i_refuse · 2015-09-11T06:04:29+00:00

"Well if you decided to go back to him tonight, I could have a another girl over here (glace at clock) before 10 to suck my dick." I got up walked over and picked up my phone looked her in the eye and said, "Should I?"

She bursts into tears

Alpha.

Ivabighairy1 · 2015-09-11T08:47:46+00:00

She texted him back instead of deleting the post without reading it? NEXT!!!

Rshrt · 2015-09-10T21:46:05+00:00

Just be real man:

"Look, I think we've got a good thing going here, You'd be nuts to go and throw it away with some other loser.. You're not nuts right? You sure you're not a nut? Just give me a second gotta make a call:

"Yes, asylumn, I'm wondering if you're missing som.." *Playfully.

*cuddles/-> proceed to fuck.

There, nice, easy, affectionate LTR style. But you're not lying, if she were to go see that guy, you'd have no problem nexting the nut.

THE__USURPER · 2015-09-10T23:20:07+00:00

So.... Can someone give an example of what OP should of done. The advice is what to do moving forward. How would you guys of reacted based on that text??

theultmatecad · 2015-09-11T01:48:11+00:00

Shoulda just asked for a thresome and let think you forgot about it.

All women do this. That's why you don't make one the center of your life

stickfiguresk · 2015-09-11T05:21:19+00:00

Bad response to a bad situation. If you feel like spinning plates and you're moderately comfortable with her fucking other people, now is a GREAT time to start with spinning her.

She's probably going to tell all her friends and they're all going to call you an asshole. When she contacts you, meet for lunch. She'll go for "the talk," or closure. Closure is the solipsistic mind's way of making sense. She has to believe she's going in the right direction by framing an interaction in the light her friends and family are painting it. You'll derail this by owning that lunch. Her plans will fall and burn.

Keep asking in an obnoxious, overt way if she's trying to have "the talk" to derail her power over the situation. And insist that "it's cool" and then suggest "going on a break for like 3 weeks." She won't go for it, if you correctly steal the power in the situation. Insist anyways. Then start picking up other women. And don't fuck your ex until you've banged a different woman.

If you want to patch things up with schrödinger's whore, I can't help you. I'd throw that LTR away based on that text.

Meterus · 2015-09-10T21:34:21+00:00

Where was she in her monthly, I wonder. If she's peak fertility, not a comfort test. Doesn't sound like it, though.

Metalgear222 · 2015-09-11T06:27:46+00:00

was I the only one that picked out that this guy is trolling and was hoping for a way different response in the comments? (Hoping guys would side with him so he could screenshot and post on another sub)

Money_Bags97 · 2015-09-10T20:36:09+00:00

Good job OP! Way to be a man! You really showed her!

FleeForce · 2015-09-11T00:09:18+00:00

You're already in a long term relationship, Generic alpha male shit doesnt apply in this situation. Apologize and stop reading red pill jesus

Title	Brutally put down new LTR and she started crying.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	69
Date	September 10, 2015 3:01 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3kepof/brutally-put-down-new-ltr-and-she-started-crying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/brutally-put-down-new-ltr-and-she-started-crying.1591892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1591892

Comments