Don't be The Backup Guy

Giant__midget · 2013-01-19T10:11:24+00:00

I banged her once. Crazy shit ensued. Don't bang her.

redpillschool · 2013-01-19T15:30:32+00:00

If you ignore a girl you previously gave attention, her interest in you will rise. Maybe not a lot, and probably not enough. But moving on is something women hate in their friend-zone orbiters.

123vasectomy · 2013-01-19T10:29:31+00:00

I get this. I've been in this place a few times and have kept my distance for specifically the reason you mention. I obliged and enjoyed the casual sex, but I also made it clear that I saw what was really happening and that I wouldn't get all fired up about a possible relationship. Actually, I've found this sort of encounter to generally be quite fulfilling.

PeterPorky · 2013-01-19T16:02:08+00:00

I think it depends on the situation. Someone can like two people at the same time, and be legitimately attracted to both of them. With our social structure of monogamy the person is forced to choose, leaving the one they liked less in the dust.

Just because someone comes up to you as a backup doesn't mean they aren't legitimately attracted to you.

rightsbot · 2013-01-19T08:16:18+00:00

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PerniciousOne · 2013-01-19T17:09:19+00:00

If you have a possible future and she has rejected you for someone else, NEVER be her doormat again.

If you have a future she may decide that you are good enough once the baby rabies kick in, and have an oops, I became pregnant with your child. And since she has already set the precedence that she will leave you at a possible better opportunity, there is no reason to expect that the same will not change.

friestogo · 2013-01-19T16:11:30+00:00

Thanks. I'll remember this.

jeninternet · 2013-01-19T19:12:49+00:00

...is the phrase "on the rebound' a generational thing? Isn't this well known?

Greyfeld · 2013-01-19T19:31:26+00:00

Doesn't this belong in /r/relationships or /r/seduction?

Not sure why this is a mens rights issue. Interesting read, but I don't think it belongs in this subreddit.

geodebug · 2013-01-19T20:32:57+00:00

Rebound flings can be really fun if both parties are open and honest about what is going on. For her it's a transition out and for him it's a chance to sample the previously-unattainable goods and possibly cure any longing desire you've held onto. (Obviously the genders could be shuffled here)

Just don't go into it hoping it will be anything else than a mutual fuck-buddy/fun dates situation and don't act the boyfriend because you aren't. Be respectful of her feelings but don't become her emotional tampon. If a conversation turns depressing or angry be forthright and remind her that this is for fun only.

If she starts acting clingy or weepy (or you feel yourself becoming needy) politely but firmly end the relationship.

If the other party ends the relationship before you were ready, remind yourself that rebounds are supposed to be short and fun and accept the ending gracefully. Thank her for the good times and wish her well.

Inbefore121 · 2013-01-19T18:13:50+00:00

Dude......not ok. In the very least not on this sub. -__-

guns_jesus_america · 2013-01-19T16:59:32+00:00

O how I love taken advantage of this situation. Chix ignores me for douchey guy, chix realisez guys a douche, calls me, shes drunk & DTF, come over, we bang bang bang, afterwards I'm like dueces chix, and she's like but noooooooo you wanna cuddle and talk I really need some support, but I'm like bang bang bang, and then I'm like I said peace before but this time I meant it, and she's like noooooo, shut door, drive home, sleep like a baby....become that douchey guy (in her eyes)

MistyKnits · 2013-01-19T11:48:57+00:00

This is a Men's Rights issue?

Title	Don't be The Backup Guy
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	72
Comments	49
Date	January 19, 2013 8:16 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/16v9ol/dont-be-the-backup-guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dont-be-the-backup-guy.1604440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1604440

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