‘Most of words we use for sex are violent, not just fuck. Think about it…. bang, screw, hit it, pound, smash, rail, plow, pound, like our entire culture has tried to remove the concept of intimacy/vulnerability/emotion from sex by associating violent words with the action.

daisy_0720 · 2020-08-26T20:33:39+00:00

Any man who talks about sex as doing something to someone instead of with someone tells you a lot about how he views sex and women.

shortywannarock · 2020-08-26T17:46:12+00:00

I will henceforth only refer to sex as “getting jiggy with it”

irmmbrmyaccount · 2020-08-26T18:21:47+00:00

This is eye-opening stuff. When a man says he "smashed" or "pounded" a woman, it indicates the man views the woman as an object.

I think the fact that these terms are used so regularly shows how misogynistic our society really is.

VioletRomantic · 2020-08-26T22:04:24+00:00

finally!!! oh my god, I've always said this!! freshman yr of uni was the first time I rlly heard guys talk about the women they were, ahem, seeing and it was always "yea, I smashed that last night" or "I beat that up" to their buddies for male approval. and I was like??? I didn't get it. and ppl around me didn't get why I didn't get it. hearing them speak that way hurt me bc I was like do you not value her? u don't enjoy her as a person? she's a human being, not a "that" or "it"!!

someone just gave u access to their most intimate space, yet u reserve the crudest, most violent language for the experience?

it seemed so backwards to me. u might laugh, but even hearing something like "I beat the p*ssy up" in a song makes me want to cry. r&b artists back in the day would at least say "make love." this violence men show coupled w/ many not prioritizing women in bed or being good at sex is why I've been celibate my whole life. I can't imagine having a mediocre encounter w/ a guy just for him to brag to his friends the next day that he "fucked" me. that's so damn traumatizing tbh

BeADecentHumanBeing · 2020-08-26T16:51:22+00:00

The photo of the page is from a book called ‘The Will To Change’ by Bell Hooks. Haven’t read it, but heard it’s good?

nieces-pieces · 2020-08-26T18:14:25+00:00

“Only when manhood is dead - and it will perish when ravaged femininity no longer sustains it - only then will we know what it is to be free” -Andrea Dworkin

Equipoisonous · 2020-08-26T21:28:05+00:00

Make Sex Making Love Again

whatprettygirlwhere · 2020-08-26T19:56:17+00:00

For the first time, I'm with someone who always talks about sex in the opposite way. When he does use the word fuck, he describes it as me fucking him. Every time.

I remember the first time he said that, I almost had to do a double take. It was really a perspective shift for me, and honestly made me feel more confident sexually. I like that he doesn't talk about me as an object upon which sex happens, but as an active participant in control of it.

Alpha_Aries · 2020-08-26T17:36:04+00:00

wow. O_o this hit me.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-08-26T22:39:34+00:00

An ex of mine called having sex "laying pipe"

I still feel gross when I think about that. That was probably the first hint that he was a skeaze lmao

boricuanzoe · 2020-08-26T20:54:08+00:00

That makes sense. Using that word makes sex sound like something you do to someone instead of with someone as a shared, consensual experience.

berned-out · 2020-08-26T22:47:37+00:00

But but but.... NOT ALL MEN! /s

lovessourbeer · 2020-08-27T02:02:22+00:00

Ex loves the phrase ‘blow out her back’ (as in, ‘she got her back blown out’). 🤢

elementalvirago · 2020-08-26T21:12:45+00:00

Whoa

Watcher_garden · 2020-08-26T19:57:03+00:00

Bell hooks is amazing. Her work is awesome.

peachlolita · 2020-08-26T17:47:02+00:00

I’ve noticed, and it doesn’t help my sad lack of interest in the act.

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