On paper my life is 'better' than ever, and I have plenty of opportunities due to a new stable job. Why do I feel more stuck and apathetic than ever?

Mma_bora · 2020-09-03T07:41:27+00:00

Society man, humans are not supposed to work the whole day years and years just to pay our bills and go work the next day and to have a 2 week vacation in a year. Even if you have a good paying job.

You need to have goals until the day you die, you need to work on something for yourself. It may be financially or fitness that doesn’t matter, what matters to you.

laserdicks · 2020-09-03T06:53:53+00:00

"stable" jobs now days are typically very good at sapping every last ounce of energy out of you. I too feel stuck, because even if J do knock off on time I still don't have energy to do anything proper with the rest of the day. I need to get financially independent. Sounds like you do too

GulpAndCry · 2020-09-03T07:13:19+00:00

never, ever let yourself run out of goals, ever.

Joe_Doblow · 2020-09-03T07:16:36+00:00

Have you been getting lots of vagina and hanging with the boys? I’m a very very apathetic person and those things bring me zest and fire. I love sex. Don’t forget to have fun. Travel. Get fired up. Dream big think about a business to start. Look forward to the future.

ovster94 · 2020-09-03T07:24:58+00:00

I’m also in the same position. 26 yo, very good job at a startup where I have a main role, but it is still working for somebody and I can’t see myself doing this long term. What I’m doing right now is saving money so I can start working independent.

“But what are you going to do when you go independent?”

I don’t know, to be honest :). All I know is that you cannot think about this when you already have a job that consumes most of your mental energy. Free that up and watch the ideas come.

This might not be for you but if you want to start independent and you want to work at your side hustle while you are working for somebody else, I’ve noticed that the best time to work is really early in the morning when your mind is fresh. For me, working for myself after office hours is impossible.

In conclusion, for me, the feeling of being lost comes from working for somebody else. Analyze yourself if that is the case for you, cause it might not be. I wish you all the best, my brother, and hope you find your way 💪

A_Brown_Crayon · 2020-09-03T07:27:14+00:00

Go for a long hike. It helps

MicksPickle · 2020-09-03T07:29:45+00:00

I don't know how much time your new job takes and how much it sucks out of you at the end of the day.

You've probably heard this before but; timetable your week, get some exercise in there, take 15 mins to do some breathing exercises or meditation, 30 mins analytical drawing, 1 hour reading, 1 hour cooking some fancy recipe, you get the idea. Things you enjoy but also constructive.

Start new habits off small, but make them habits. I recommend a book/ audio book atomic habits. It explains how you will never be happy leading a goal oriented life, "when X happens I'll then be happy," so you postpone happiness. Do things you get a kick out of and improve physical fitness in the present, enjoy the journey.

I'd recommend stop drinking, smoking or any other substances that affect your mind. Take it from an ex addict with multiple addictions. There is no moderation when your mental health isn't in a good place.

Work is rarely satisfying, we're all cogs in the same machine, but appreciate the financial reward. Not many people have the luxury of left over cash at the end of the month. If you're earning well and saving, what sort of business that you enjoy could you create from your wealth, spend your free time planning for that. Buy a franchise, I dunno you get the idea. Try enjoy your lot

beardestbird · 2020-09-03T06:57:00+00:00

I would start with what do you like to do? Then go from there and see how you can monetize it. Just don’t be dumb and quit your job

JakeDawsonz · 2020-09-03T07:44:27+00:00

Legit in the exact same situation but going on two years

RevolutionaryPea7 · 2020-09-03T08:27:59+00:00

A lot of people are going to be feeling this way. The thing is there's no obvious path to take any more. Back in the day you left school, got married and started a family. Now that's difficult for many reasons. Women have been told to get careers instead of have children. So you now need two full time incomes to be in with a chance of buying a house or something. So you end up having sex with women to try and fill the void. That doesn't work. If you write out what you want it will all be material stuff that won't make you happy anyway. And if you have multiple siblings you'll never have as much as your parents had anyway. I don't know the answers. But I can tell you you're not alone.

2020-09-03T10:28:38+00:00

You are in a pretty secure place in life and dont want to take any risks to get to the next level. Lots of people are content to get to that stage and there is nothing wrong with that. There is no point working like an animal to be a CEO earning 10k a day if that work gives you no fulfillment or doesnt interest you. Spending your life focused on career and wealth isnt everything for most people, just as long as as you are living comfortably, have women in your life and have some savings for a rainy day you are fine. Dont feel shamed because you arent career focused or dont have all these side hustles.

I would work on your savings, doing some investments and also try save some more for your own place. Also things change I really didnt care much about work in my 20's and now in my 30s im looking to do something a little bit different with myself. I just wish I worked on myself a little more when I was younger to get a few more skills that employers look for. My skills are pretty niche.

axiscontra · 2020-09-03T05:13:31+00:00

Life fucking sucks. We need to create a better society for ourselves. Fuck the bourgeoisie they can have their money.

You're stuck and you're apathetic because that's the only way to succeed playing this game. We're tired of games. We're tired of the rat race. This is no way to live.

Devote your energy on building a structure to change society and live better for yourself.

ManthanDhabriya · 2020-09-03T12:03:05+00:00

I can relate. When i started the job i had for 2 years, it brought in a fresh source of stable and decent income (something i had really looked forward to). That meant no more asking my parents for the smallest of excursions, i could spend at my own will. I had autonomy.

The thing is though, the job itself wasnt very satisfying for me. I felt dead inside. It took a toll on me when i realized that i gotta do this my entire life (that is what i was studying for). Now i have my final exams in a few weeks and i cant get myself to study anything. Maybe bcos i am lazy but mostly bcos i know it doesnt lead me nowhere.

Find what you like to do man. Money has no intrinsic value. What you do is the only thing that matters. Find something that matters to you.

All the best.

SiLLY__Go0Se- · 2020-09-03T08:57:52+00:00

I understand this completely. I've never had any resemblance of purpose until a couple of weeks ago when I decided I was gonna kill myself if I kept up the standard 9-5 lifestyle.

Now I have a goal of buying a sailboat and living off grid for awhile. Far from typical red pill but it suits me personally.

cunningcaring · 2020-09-03T09:45:33+00:00

Friends? Hobbies? Education? Volunteer? Get involved in life.

TheBadGoy · 2020-09-03T09:16:07+00:00

Maybe the city life isn't for you https://youtu.be/Gu0KDS20-4o

FinallyRed · 2020-09-03T13:17:39+00:00

Life is a series of increasingly large mountains to climb, each one invisible until you've surmounted the one in front of it. Looks like the one in front of you to make more money isn't looking appeasing to you for now. Find a different one.

yehabsuab · 2020-09-03T13:41:30+00:00

I would add meditation to your daily routine. Try mindfulness. Also get a mission, something you are passionate about. Good luck brother

mrrooftops · 2020-09-03T13:49:46+00:00

When you move up in life, in whatever situation, you are essentially promoted from the top of one thing to the bottom of the next thing.

woodencrown · 2020-09-03T15:47:43+00:00

I'm 32 got a reasonable job, mortgage free house, kid and am what some people aspire to be and I still feel the same as you. Went to a therapist cause I was so depressed and when he asked me what was going on I had nothing to tell him.

Snowboard18 · 2020-09-03T16:20:06+00:00

I think there’s a few reasons why this could be happening,

Reaching this point didn’t live up to your expectations. When your depressed you often fantasies about being in a different spot in life, but the problem is you think, “man once I’m at that point I will be so damn happy”

The problem with that is you are relying on outside circumstances to determine your happiness. Happiness come from your brain and your brain’s thought patterns and those two alone. If you always want something new and think you’ll be happy once you get that thing then you’ll be chasing ghosts cause things don’t make you happy.

Idk if your religious or not but this point goes back to Buddhist ideas. Craving is the root of suffering.

tilleuno · 2020-09-03T17:30:38+00:00

26 & living at home?

You answered your own question.

L0nerizm · 2020-09-03T19:42:55+00:00

Hey man, this is EXACTLY my situation. I'm 26, live at home, have a great degree and job, friends, workout. I'm so unhappy and depressed its not believable to anyone who sees me on the outside. You need a purpose or goal in life. Unfortunately, getting a 9-5 office job is usually not fulfilling and you either need to have something you are working towards outside of work, or switch career directions to something where you aren't an office drone. (I am currently transitioning to medicine to get out of this cycle and do something I feel more fulfilled with).

new__vision · 2020-09-03T07:05:38+00:00

Look at maslow's hierarchy of needs. You may have filled one of the levels with your job, I think level 2 is related to money. For me, I realized that I needed to work more on other levels of the hierarchy.

Rolfenstien · 2020-09-03T09:09:51+00:00

Start experiencing more new and exciting things, some may light a fire in you that directs you towards something you didn't even know you wanted. I never knew I wanted to become great at Muay Thai before that first training session.

pmtrix86 · 2020-09-03T09:58:51+00:00

Why u don't consider the idea of writing a bucket list? I started one a couple of years ago, and it helps me a lot to achieve things, get into new activities and experiences.

Maybe u can give it a try and check if this will bring you some spark.

maddisser101 · 2020-09-03T14:03:10+00:00

You have gotten accustomed to your situation. Humans are not used to being stable. Think about it in an evolutionary sense: we roamed the plains for hundreds of thousands of years, eating maybe three times per WEEK, sleeping in the dirt, fearing for our lives and meals.

Now we have everything we have ever wanted: food, shelter, relationships, etc. There is nothing left to really strive for.

You need to shake up your life more. Do something scary or that you have never tried before. Find out what you lack in your life and try to build upon it. You need to scare yourself more.

MagnumBurrito · 2020-09-03T14:34:48+00:00

Find something you like outdoors. Start with hiking. Learn to fish/climb/mountain bike/backpack/camp/explore caves/swim in rivers/kayak/tube.

Humans weren't meant to spend most of our time on screens. It drains us. Reconnect with nature.

MrTrizzles · 2020-09-03T15:07:09+00:00

You had a mission. You achieved it.

Now find a new mission. A longer, more valuable mission, one that will take years to accomplish and level up your life. Multiple long missions.

That’s it. Now every moment of every day has meaning, in service to your passions.

And lift.

fightclubdevil · 2020-09-03T15:10:24+00:00

Buy a house, move out instead of living with mommy and daddy. It will give you a sense of independence and will make you feel like the decisions you make matter more because nobody is there to look over your shoulder

_Ulan_ · 2020-09-03T15:12:19+00:00

Passion ? You should not wait for something to bring passion to you, you should go for it.

Brew your first pint of beer today, open a side brewery in a year.

Go to a martial art course today, head for the tournament in a year

Design some clothes that you'd like to see in the street, contract a sawing company in a year.

And if you prefer a challenge to raise your motivation : Well I'm pretty sure that you don't have the balls to do anyone of those three things because you're stuck in your comfort zone and too afraid to come out of it. You think you'd have something to loose? You don't.

big-blacked-out · 2020-09-03T15:39:39+00:00

Get in a mind set of always wanting more. Never settle and never get complacent in life.... start working out

ronbfor · 2020-09-03T15:39:48+00:00

If you're writing it out: List what is important to you; your values. Big picture like faith, health, hobbies, who you want to be seen as. That can take RP tone; ripped, sexually satisfied, self-focused, independent, indifferent to gyno-fem. Then list the actions you are taking in support of those values. As you're thinking about it, you'll realize and list actions that undermine those values, and actions you could/should/want to do. Then focus on eliminating the actions that undermine your values and focus on performing the actions that support your values. Those actions can be simple, small things to start. Replace an episode of 2-1/2 Men with a free, half-hour walk/run as a fist step toward lifting. Go to a range and rent a gun if you want to be an expert shooter. Go to a fine restaurant and try an inspiring meal if you want to learn to cook. Whatever. Take one action. Fuck everybody else, what your parents might say, how anyone might judge. Just try something you think you might like. If you don't like it, try the next thing. RP truths can guide you on the realities affecting your journey, and the perspectives required to reach your destination.

BeornPlush · 2020-09-03T15:55:39+00:00

Over the long run, feeling good comes mainly from witnessing progress towards goals you value, not achieving them. Achievements feel great, just not for long.

Make a list (pen and paper!) of

5 things you want to achieve and things you want to avoid.
Add what you can do to work towards/away from those.
Add the worst case scenario: if it blows up, what happens to you?
Finally, write down how the PROCESS of working on each one will improve for your day-to-day.

The first 3 are general life-orientation stuff. Always helpful. Nothing special. But staying on the up-and-up over the long run is all about the progress and the process. Turn your attention to that.

revrev4405 · 2020-09-03T16:10:20+00:00

Working the 9-5 doesn’t necessarily kill me. I try to take a lot of trips in a year whether small or big. Spend time w the bois/hoes on the weekends and focus on my career during the week and try to learn everything I can.

Noodlesoupe2 · 2020-09-03T17:24:51+00:00

Hang with friends?

heyyy-kiddo · 2020-09-03T17:36:25+00:00

Go see a psycholog and talk about it. Idk if it's depression or a genuine state of mind. I think you should try to do something new from time to time. Weekends are your free time to explore stuff. In a normal 10am-6pm job you should strive to make it easyer and be more relaxed.Remember to take breaks for example when your colegues go to smoke you should go with them. Socializing and 10 min breaks help a lot.

After hours 7pm + try 1 or 2h of meaningfully activities that you enjoy:gym,reading,singing whatever.

Also get those 8h of sleep and avoid bringing work home.You work at work and your home time is yours.

Max-hex · 2020-09-03T18:13:03+00:00

Genuine happiness can only come from within. Once you reach those goals you have set for yourself, you will feel good for a short period of time before you return to baseline. This doesn't mean that you should stop having goals, but rather recognize the fact that anything you gain can also be lost. Every high contains within it a an equal seed of unhappiness. If you get a girlfriend, you can lose her or she can cheat on you, etc. In this case you can lose that job.

Also, you should have a look at the important pillars of your life. Health, wealth, and game. Are you lacking in any of those areas?

garlicmayosquad · 2020-09-03T20:30:50+00:00

I feel you man. In the exact same situation apart from not living at home.

jasondougies · 2020-09-07T15:07:27+00:00

godspeed brother, basically the same as you. a lot of answers in this thread that's very inspiring.

clitorophagy · 2020-09-03T13:23:40+00:00

Living at home meaning your parents’ house? Sounds like a drag at 26

Title	On paper my life is 'better' than ever, and I have plenty of opportunities due to a new stable job. Why do I feel more stuck and apathetic than ever?
Author	AUSTRALIAN_001
Upvotes	121
Comments	64
Date	September 3, 2020 5:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/iln6js/on_paper_my_life_is_better_than_ever_and_i_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/on-paper-my-life-is-better-than-ever-and-i-have.173224 https://theredarchive.com/post/173224

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