Embrace Being the "Hot Older Guy"

mmolessgoogle · 2014-08-19T16:17:07+00:00

Real older guy here. Hooked up with a girl in her late 20s when I was in my early 50s. We have a 25 year age difference.

While I would love to reassure you younger guys that you will always want the younger pussy forever - maybe not. While I was single, I dated in my age group, women in their 30s and 40s, and younger women.

I found women under 30 - esp. those without a degree - to be as dumb as a box of rocks. I mean literally stupid as fuck, so much so that it was painful to make conversation with them.

If you don't know who fought on which side in WWII, or who the vice president is, or the difference between there and their and they're...you just might be too stupid to have a conversation with me.

Most women 35-45 had baggage like crazy - kids, ex-husbands, emotional bullshit to work through. Not worth it for a LTR, but for the most part DTF.

Women pushing 50 and up are either self-sufficient (and often DTF) or looking for a mate (run away!)

Almost all of them look at us as a combo ATM / Fridge / whatever she needs at the moment.

Sex - younger is usually more fun, but there is zero wrong with a woman who is older, in shape, and knows her own body and what she likes.

Finally, I am sure some will read the above and think - "Hey, I don't care if she's stupid, I just want to fuck her."

Something you realize when you get older is that there is no shortage of pussy. You do need to do certain things to make sure that you are worth hooking up with - dress your age and well, lift, don't get drunk, etc.

But the bar is amazingly low. Really. I think my age was actually a bonus, because at 50 I could pull from 3 decades if I wanted.

Ended up with a 27 year old with a degree, a great job, varied interests, and her own money.

As an older man, you have better clothes, a better car, a nicer place, more money, and if you have taken care of yourself, a nice physique.

Young women like it when you take them home to an actual house with no roommates, that looks like someone thought about it for 10 seconds when they furnished it.

Rules: 1. Lift 2. Lift 3. Don't give women personal info - like where you work, etc. 4. Don't give anyone else a key to your place. period. 5. Remember you're trading time/money for pussy. And there is not a pussy shortage. Be stingy. 6. Lift

fasterpussycatdie · 2014-08-19T12:25:03+00:00

You need to embrace more of the finer things in life: sophistication, being worldly, having life experience, having a career that's seen some respectable progress, not being overly excited to talk to a hot girl, maintaining frame, and dressing like a respectable man of your age. No, the same thing that might look good on an early 20s "bro" type isn't going to pan out as well for you.

The word you're best describing is distinguished. Think Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Aaron Eckhart and the like. And even though he's a caricature, that Dos Eguis guy.

I love being playful and flirty with younger women. Although I've found that any female under the age of about 25 is annoying as all hell. That nasally "like OMG, I can't even..." voice that young women seem to affect lately is like nails on a chalkboard to older gents like me.

niczar · 2014-08-19T09:28:13+00:00

ITT 30 year old thinking they're somehow "old." You're not. You're at your prime. You still have little effort to do to look your best physically. After 35, it starts taking some effort. At 50, it takes a lot.

RXRob · 2014-08-19T09:35:29+00:00

Turning 30 was like flipping a magical switch. Suddenly I've found a whole subset of women who love an older guy in a nice suit.

Avoid shitty clubs, stick to nice bars where you can hear a conversation. You now have a better tool than your moves and your body. You have wit, humour, the experience to not get hung up and the age to not look like a tool in a suit.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-08-19T12:16:13+00:00

One thing that I've seen be very successful is, "You're WAAAAY to young for me." For some reason, they want to always include themselves in everything.

Don Steele had some good material on picking up on younger women. I think it's www.steelballs.com something like that.

lalicat · 2014-08-19T22:17:57+00:00

Being 30 I can say the type of women that find an older gentlemen attractive are the ones looking to settle down. You won't get too much 19 year old gash but 25-26 year olds are like playing on easy mode. There's a very unscrupulous game you can run on that age group to basically make them think they're nailing down their beta bux for life but you can hit n' quit if you're just looking for some poon. It involves a lot of deception but any girl hitting their wall will throw themselves at you and you can rack up some serious dick chaffing by pretending to be that beta bucks.

If you try and front like you're a hip 25 year old but you're 31 you get instantly creep zoned. Act your age, dress your age and act like the established older gentleman who's mature ... Don't drink like you're 23, sip. Don't get stupid, distinguish yourself by being the 'responsible' one ... Younger chicks, especially those with daddy issues will be tingling like crazy wanting to try out a mature guy ... I always cringe when I see a 30 year old at a college party ... They never get any action anyways and the girls are always talking shit behind their backs about how the guy is a loser and can't find friends his own age ...

Cyralea · 2014-08-19T15:59:35+00:00

This is the best comprehensive article I've ever found on the matter.

Seriously, it sums up all my experiences that I've anecdotally confirmed in my older friends.

gensyms · 2014-08-19T18:33:03+00:00

You really cannot be the older guy that tries to be the hip, "with it" guy that totally understands all the young people by dressing like them and acting like a guy in his early 20s.

You cannot really get away with trying to be anything you're not.

I am 48 and regularly get girls in the 20-26 age range. I'm unemployed and don't dress well by any stretch of the imagination -- in fact it's usually a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals. Standard hippie uniform, I guess. Including dreadlocks.

And I get approached often enough that my current age is the best I've ever experienced. And who am I to blow against the wind?

I think the only things I have going for me are monumental self-confidence and charm. I am comfortable in pretty much every situation and with every person I encounter. Regardless of what happens, I don't get rattled -- and I think that is all you need to attract women.

At least the younger ones. At a certain age they start looking for something that I don't really qualify for... or have any interest in.

But how couldn't you be supremely confident in your late forties? I mean, I've survived so much (including military service, a nasty BASE jumping accident, getting severely injured in a fiery car crash, relationships, financial ups and downs, homelessness) -- so I just don't have very much to fear any more. I have to imagine that anybody who survives half a century has had equally harsh experiences.

And those harsh experiences imo, are what makes a man a man.

So now we're the silverbacks and the younger female apes are properly responding to that fact. No surprise -- that doe eyed girl eyeing you across the bar? She's still an ape.

Perhaps an adorable ape.

But an ape nevertheless.

bobbybluepill · 2014-08-19T07:05:23+00:00

I'm early 30s and I deal with girls in their early 20s frequently. It usually doesn't come up immediately. But when it does come up, I just state my age as if it were nothing. Most of them tell me they think I'm younger. I get 25 all the time.

In any case, I've never been blown out solely based on my age.

Also, a lot of the smokeshows I went to HS with wound up marrying much older men. I think they're probably Golddiggers, but who knows. I'm just bringing it up because I've seen guys in their mid 40s with kids getting married to girls in their mid 20s on several occasions.

whitey_male · 2014-08-19T10:49:18+00:00

A little bit of BP mentality can work on younger women. As in simply being a friendly but not clingy human being. Instead of seeing it as creepy because they think you want them to be your mommy they might like it because they want you to be her daddy.

Another piece of hypocrisy from the feminists and their pop psychology propaganda. They despise men for wanting to be "mothered" but want George to be their daddy.

the99percent1 · 2014-08-19T14:35:45+00:00

Im about to hit my late twenties but already I can see the difference in interactions I'm receiving compared to my awkward early 20s.. I used to do the chasing, not anymore.

Just yesterday, I decided to sign up for a credit card that offered cash back upon signing (free money, who doesn't want!). The cute service rep probably a year or two younger than me kept asking really personal questions. Yes, I know its their duty to ask. Seriously though, some of the questions were clearly fishing for my SMV. She noticed my house address on tax statement and started asking why I was in this part of town when i live in a more established, up market part...

Made her laugh with my playful reply 'coz I'm looking for a decent wife.' by the end of my application she couldnt be an anymore easier plate waiting for me to piledrive. 'Call me alright?'. Yeah, if I want an easy lay, I will. She had all my private information, annual income, tax receipts, bank statements, Job info, everything laid out in front of her. I obviously scream out as a high value male and she was getting wet over it.

I haven't hit my stride full on yet, but i have no doubt, that if I carry on building my life and let the girls do the chasing, I'll be fine.

And thats how old man game should work. Just continue working on yourself and the life you want to lead. If it's interesting enough, girls significantly younger than you will seek you out. You just need to be receptive when it happens (as i did with my credit card application) and respond positively to it and dont let the pressure of society get to you. I'm talking about not letting the stigma of older man, younger female dynamic affect your interactions. BTW, I'm dating a 19 year old. Couldn't be more happier about it.

bsutansalt · 2014-08-19T17:15:33+00:00

If she says that you're too old for her, that's just her trying to see if you're okay with the age difference. And of course no matter what you say, maintain frame.

Reframe:

"The question isn't if I'm too old for you, it's whether or not you're mature enough for me."

I forget who said it, but it's a baller response. Works wonders in my experience.

R_E_D_1 · 2014-08-19T21:34:43+00:00

One of my plates is 10 years younger than me. She calls me 'old man' when we fuck. It turns me on something awful.

Bbarakti · 2014-08-19T08:45:02+00:00

Thanks. 39 here. 2.5 yrs out of a divorce and I'm serious about "getting back out there"...finally. Figure most women on the dating/ bar scene are going to be younger. That and I'm pretty sure I'm going to want children, need a younger woman to do that.....well, if you want the kids safe and healthy you do.

Figure I'm about to move to Vegas just because of the number of tourists I can practice this stuff on, to get a bit of practice in/ break the anxiety. Cure for Oneitis is a copious dose of boobs..... I think at least, and I'm sick of Oneitis.

the_red_scimitar · 2014-08-19T16:58:39+00:00

Advance tl;dr: Decrepit old man and hot young chicks. Also, maybe pizza.

As an older guy (probably one of the oldest in TRP), I date pretty much all ages - this year, I've dated (and I mean multiple dates, sex, etc.) with women from 23 to 52. That said, I'm no man-whore - fitness, cuteness, personality, all matter, and I actually do not look for ONSes.

I also date openly non-monogamous, and people I meet and date know this. Sometimes, they are so intrigued by this that the date is talking all about relationships, and women often tell me all kinds of secrets on the first date, and usually comment how they "never tell ANYBODY that". One earlier this year admitted she'd cheated on "every relationship I've ever had." And then got a stunned look as she admitted that nobody else knew that. I've found for some, cheating is really how they get off. But that's not my scene - I won't participate if I know the woman is cheating.

Some of what OP says is also in my experience, but, strangely enough, I get more shit tests from women in their 40's than their 20's - by far. Women in their 40's think they have it figured out, know what they want, etc., and are, almost no matter what they say or believe, looking for something hot, safe, and preferably with good provisioning.

Women in their 20's tend to take me at face value. I get few shit tests, and they are happy to have a non-douche, good-sex relationship.

That said, women in their 20's are also much more conscious of what their friends will think, and such women don't, in my opinion, make good pairings for older guys. A little wild, a bit of willingness to shock their friends (and even family) is much more amenable to a really good, fun relationship.

Frankly, I'm a bit iconoclastic. I have worn a kilt on first dates. If that turns into a second date (and some women REALLY dig this), it's probably going to progress as much as I want it to.

I don't play the age card at all - in any way. I have interests and amusements that could be called juvenile, and others that are sophisticated. While I apparently don't think or act my age, I'm also not trying to think or act some other age. I can hang with enthusiasm about Archer or Adventure Time, know the pop references because I like the sources, but also can have a discussion about epidemics, genetics and biology, or philosophical subjects of any kind.

I guess it really depends on whether you are using game in lieu of being genuine, or as an adjunct to it. I'm not all that classically good looking, but I'm fit,and fortunately have all my hair. Women often tell you that looks are secondary... well, maybe or maybe not, but for most ladies, looks alone are rarely going to add up to more than a few hot dates. If you seek anything more, intelligence, being able to relate (and no, not in that blue pill way), and having plenty of interests and activities are just going to open more doors.

And really understanding TRP - not just to be a player, but to be a better man - that is going to work for you.

Oh yeah... sorry, no pizza.

ChristopherBurr · 2014-08-19T13:39:30+00:00

OP is right about style. Men's Health and GQ are totally TRP. They should be the bible for us guys over 30.

GQ style.

some12talk2 · 2014-08-19T15:30:08+00:00

if you have a power/success/fit/experienced/cool game you will have high SMV thru your mid 40s

MRAfront · 2014-08-19T16:54:44+00:00

If she says that you're too old for her,.....

Reply: you are too young for me.

Younger women have a big fear of not being "sophisticated enough", that reply plays the inner young woman' brain, is like when a kid is told "you need to be this tall to ride".

Gami_Lon · 2014-08-19T20:10:45+00:00

It's funny to hear you guys talk about this when you're in your 30s and 40s. I know a man who's in his SEVENTIES that dates women half his age. If you're 70, unmarried, and your dick still works, you might as well be a unicorn. The world is your oyster.

seattleron · 2014-08-19T20:15:27+00:00

Serious question here not trolling, just something I've always wondered. When you get in your 50's and even older, how do you feel about women that same age. Right now of course I wouldn't give them a second thought, do you guys do the same or do those women get more attractive as you age? I see dudes who have looked the same for 20 years getting with women who look 20 years their senior. Maybe they're just beta and don't realize they can get better/younger chicks? I've always wondered if as you age do older women become more attractive?

Clauderoughly · 2014-08-19T22:31:16+00:00

I have a whole lot to say about this, but I have shit to do this morning...

Will add later.

budguy68 · 2014-08-19T16:34:08+00:00

Never thought of this one but than I remember Julian from RSD. He dresses and tries and look like he is young when he games.

Rooibosisboss · 2014-08-19T18:02:31+00:00

Girl:"I think you're too old"

Guy: "Yup you're too young for me."

kick6 · 2014-08-19T18:08:44+00:00

you don't want to start jumping around, getting overly excited about Coachella next year or Tiesto playing in your city's local hot spot

32 year old checking in: I've been listening to Tiesto for over a decade. Damnit, I claim him for us old farts! Although his trance days were his best days. On second thought: you can have him and his new blenderhouse/mainstage/mainstream festival crap.

HeadingRed · 2014-08-19T22:23:47+00:00

Very much so. In my 40's in a LTR. Girls in their 20's sometimes approach me. Music comes up- talk about new stuff I like, also talk about concerts I saw back in the day. Don't talk about work a lot- that's for guys still climbing. Keep the "reserved wisdom" on tap. "Oh you're going there? Went there 10 years ago, check this place out.

It's about making your experience and status a value and not a sign that you have checked out.

RPL23 · 2014-08-20T16:38:26+00:00

as a 28yrold who recently swallowed TRP, this really helps calm my nerves. i thought i missed out on a window, and started to live in the past. so awesome to hear all the older RPs kicking ass. makes me double down on improving myself and living in the present with a plan for the future.

p.s. i got some great advice from older RPbro /u/vengefully_yours. i hope he sees this and adds some commentary.

mbillion · 2014-08-20T18:40:50+00:00

I never did all that great during my teens and early twenties. It was my twenty eighth year I realized how truly desirable my masculinity was.

vengefully_yours · 2014-08-20T17:09:56+00:00

There is nothing more desperate than a man my age who is trying to act and look like he is half his age. Back when I was 32, I was in a club with one of my car buddys, I was watching people and this guy stood out. He was tall, but skinny and ungainly, bald with bozo the clown hair, he was wearing the same kind of shit the 22 year old guys were, but it wasn't baggy and nerd accountant glasses.

This cute Asian girl is dancing and he just moves on in there and joins her. She likes it at first, but after two minutes she moves away from him. He pursues and starts grinding on her, she moves again and he follows again. Dude saw just a spark of interest, blew it, and then showed his desperation by following her around. Trying too hard to be cool, acting like a goof, but not in a good way. Watching him I resolved to never be that guy, there's no way I can look like him, but I don't want to act like him.

James Bond is a good way to go, Jack Black can work too, this guy had neither going for him. Desperation shows, its like a bright beacon on a moonless night, everyone will see it. Every girl he tried to dance with saw what happened with Asian girl, and when he came near them, they walked away. They stopped dancing and walked away, and dude just kept trying rather than acting aloof.

By the time you reach 45 you should have built your confidence, and game should be your nature. You should have built your body and your life, not be a skinny desperate and thirsty wimp. If you don't put in the work when you're young, there's always fat chicks and single moms.

antwonedw · 2014-08-19T18:02:42+00:00

bravo, good post. as a 35 year old this was nice to read.

Title	Embrace Being the "Hot Older Guy"
Author	JudgeRedPill
Upvotes	102
Comments	91
Date	August 19, 2014 6:38 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2dym31/embrace_being_the_hot_older_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/embrace-being-the-hot-older-guy.19662 https://theredarchive.com/post/19662

Comments