Moving to a new city and main place wants to come

creating_my_life · 2017-03-01T04:37:03+00:00

You answered your question like 5 times in the above post. You don't want her to live with you. Which city is irrelevant. And you most certainly shouldn't consider NOT moving. Move for you and your career.

The hard honesty is, "Plate, I enjoy your company, but I do not want to have a committed relationship or live with someone at this stage in my life."

Would she choose to move to a new city and get her own apartment? That's her decision, not yours. And you would need to be willing to dump her the day she arrived simply because you're not feeling it any more. Any more power over you is manipulation.

red_peacock · 2017-03-01T07:10:50+00:00

Seven months?

Don't do it. That alone should be a huge issue.

You're in your mid-twenties?

Don't do it. You have years ahead of you to find the right woman to mother your children.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2017-03-01T05:16:22+00:00

Whether she realizes it or not, she's vying to upgrade the relationahip thanks to this change of venue. Oh and by the way, she realizes it.

Anywho...

You want us to make a major life decision about your life from a few paragraphs. Why?

Why do you not have enough frame over your own life to analyze and deduce what you should do with this human female? Is there some magic nugget you've left out that would give us clairvoyance enough to make this decision on your behalf?

Or are you just afraid... And perhaps you want the MRP collective to give you the advice you kinda already know will be given.

Because validation is a yummy.

So...what's our advice to you? You tell us.

ElSupremoDeluxe · 2017-03-01T05:40:10+00:00

Your post is equal parts doubt and desire. You need to decide which it is.

For me, if there was any doubt, well....,,

thegoldenrules · 2017-03-01T13:14:32+00:00

I'm reading "Rational Male" right now, and it's obvious that you're developing one-itis and the beta tendencies that come from putting one girl on a pedestal. If it's difficult for you at this stage to find plates that are of equal or better quality to her, work on that problem first... develop abundance, so that you won't care as much about a single plate.

Rollo says there's a strong temptation after spinning a couple of plates to settle down into the first monogamous relationship that comes your way, before really having played the field, especially if you're new to this.

If she wasn't there, what would you do? Your vision is the only thing that matters.

Abundance is something I'm working on as well, and my only issue is that I have forgotten how/where to meet plates since i wasted 2.5 years in a monogamous relationship that went poof overnight because her "feelings" changed.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2017-03-01T13:30:27+00:00

You're not ready bro. You're green as they come. Mid twenties divorced and you want to get back into it?? Hesitation bleeds and jumps all over from your post. It's a sign that your better nature KNOWS this is not the right move. Go build yourself into a solid confident man, and maybe in 10 years you'll be ready. Other than that you're in for trouble down the road despite all the positive "red pill woman" traits she's now exhibiting. Good luck.

epistemic_humility · 2017-03-01T13:47:37+00:00

She is either a plate or she isn't.

I think you are confused about what you want.

What do you want??

nastynickdr · 2017-03-01T14:00:50+00:00

This is a decision only you can make for yourself. Do YOU want to marry and have kids soon? Then do it. If not, dont. The only reason you should be moving in with a woman is if you plan on doing those soon. But, if you are doing it because you are "afraid of losing her" then its for the wrong reason.

You are still very young (27) and your post reek of oneitis. "She is wife/mother material and im afraid I wont find one like her in the future if i dump her now and might have to end up with some used up club slut". If you enter any relationship with this mindset you are gonna get fucked up hard.

About the sex part, you say its "meh" right now. If shes not putting out enough/not doing all the things you want as a plate, expect it to get worse if you commit/marry her, so keep this on your mind.

If you REALLY want to give this a shot and let her move in with you, I´d say have her keep paying for her apartment for at least 6 months or so, so that if things go to shit she can go straight back to her apartment. You seem like a Nice Guy and im sure you would feel bad having to kick her out of your apartment in a different state with her having nowhere to go and no job. I had an ex ltr who i dated for around 6 years before moving in together, and when we did, things gone to shit FAST. Its like her inner bitch fully emerged. (the fact that i had zero balls also helped of course). Thanks god she "rented" her apartment to a friend and she went back to it right after, so i got lucky on that part.

From your last sentence, where you say you want to have a family in the future, you want to travel the world right now, dont want to be locked down, etc. I would say let her go.

epistemic_humility · 2017-03-01T14:30:40+00:00

I would tell her not to move, but if you'd like you could say "yet" and see how things go. For practical reasons, maybe it makes more sense for you to check out the city before she does all the extreme things like quitting her job and subletting her apartment. What if the city isn't a good fit? How sweet of you to vet the place beforehand ;)

Plus, you will have a whole new market of women in the new place, and I think the freedom of exploring that on your own is invaluable. "Yet" keeps plate placated for a bit.

BobbyPeru · 2017-03-01T05:53:19+00:00

Our sex is meh to be honest, but her rmv(relationship material value) is crazy high like mother material high.

This is you coming to realize the long term potential isn't there. The sex has to be there.

innominating · 2017-03-01T12:07:23+00:00

Have you considered inviting her if she agrees to let you have plates? Do you think she could abide by the one penis policy?

If not, move and downgrade to fuck buddy when she visits you. Make sure your internal game is sharp when you move, game in the day and night early and often. Join hobby groups early. Don't make the mistake of moving only to feel isolated and lonely and later calling her to tag along in a moment of weakness.

UEMcGill · 2017-03-01T13:17:47+00:00

While plates are relationships, they do not have the kind of commitment a LTR has.

Simple question, if she has all these compelling attributes, and one giant negative (sex is meh) why hasn't she been upgraded before? What's changed?

From my outsider point of view it looks like you are trying to lock down the pussy. As many have said, abundance, but more importantly Outcome Independence is what you need here.

You're going to a new city and taking on a new job which will be extremely stressful. Did you ever think that maybe you are looking to make a portion of your life more comfortable so that the rest is easier dealt with?

I once moved an LTR to be near me as part of a relocation. In the back of my mind there already were red flags, and they became glaringly apparent after the move. This girl is going to look to you to be the center of her universe until she establishes herself. Meanwhile you are trying to kill it in your new career.

Reality is it sounds like what you need is monk mode, not an LTR.

Thirtysomethink · 2017-03-01T16:49:02+00:00

Woman here. It seems to me that it would be ideal for you if you could keep her as a plate rather than letting her go. I understand that if she moved to the new city right now to be with you, you'd feel responsible for her in a way you'd rather not at this point, and I think it makes sense to tell her to stay put for now. But why can't she come visit you every once in a while in the new city? If she's visited a number of times over the course of a year, then both of you will be better equipped to make a decision about whether to have her move to the new city. You'll know the city and its women; she'll know what life in your current city is like without you around; both of you will have that much more information about your relationship and whether you see yourselves starting a family together in the future.

[deleted] · 2017-03-01T18:55:52+00:00

The answer to this question is always found in

"What do I want?"

FIgure that out, and you'll have your answer.

If you want your main plate with you and you're OK with commitment, bring her. If not, don't.

RBuddDwyer · 2017-03-01T23:48:11+00:00

Our sex is meh to be honest

Have you tried the Sex God Method?

Aechzen · 2017-03-02T23:43:38+00:00

You already solved this, but a quick kudos.

You're plating her and you're leaving her gives her anxiety; it means you're a man of value. Congratulations dude.

One of my male friend's plates had a job move across the country and asked him to follow her. She makes incredible money, and offered to put him up / move him in / anything to get him to follow her. He did the right thing and immediately broke her heart on the spot.

She was what you describe: wife material, but the circumstances were wrong, he had the right abundance mentality to know there will be other women. Because there will always be other women.

epistemic_humility · 2017-03-02T01:51:30+00:00

I mean you all the best when I say this... but you're being retarded.

Stop it.

You do not want her to move with you. If you say yes, the HUGE UNSPOKEN CONTRACT is that you are OBLIGED to her.

Your next immediate actions:

Thank her for the fun time you had
Wish her the best of luck in her future
Pack your shit and move
Go no contact
Find a 2 new better looking, better behaving plates in the new city

Stop being retarded.

Edit - AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE DO NOT GET THIS GIRL PREGNANT! USE A CONDOM!!

uniquevoid · 2017-03-01T08:40:38+00:00

I'll give a different opinion here

You should give it a try, you are going to break up anyway if she doesn't go with you

How should you do it? Under your own terms but considering her needs

Let her know what you expect from her, cohabitate for a few months and if it doesn't work tell her that you have to split ways. Remember to never shift blame or anything similar if things aren't going well. Just LEAD

We should take calculated risks, according to you she's mother material therefore go for it if that's what you're looking for. Frame is doing what is in accordance to your beliefs, not redpillers'

RBuddDwyer · 2017-03-01T20:06:57+00:00

Why in the hell are you posting here in married red pill? Go ask in /r/asktrp .

Mangoinhand · Fri Mar 17 16:37:19 2017 UTC

Do NOT let a plate upgrade herself to a status relationship.

Whether she was an ONS, FB, MLTR (low or high end) or whatever... YOU choose to upgrade/downgrade her WHEN YOU want.

She deserves a Soft Next for this kind of pushy behaviour. And you're being a pussy for having weak boundaries.

Title	Moving to a new city and main place wants to come
Author	epistemic_humility
Upvotes	14
Comments	92
Date	March 1, 2017 4:31 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5wt40v/moving_to_a_new_city_and_main_place_wants_to_come/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/moving-to-a-new-city-and-main-place-wants-to-come.199036 https://theredarchive.com/post/199036

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