The following happened in a 24 hour period from Tuesday night through Wednesday night:

I was sitting in the bathtub reading MMSLP and my wife walked in to ask if she could get in. I said sure. Once she got in I started rubbing her shoulders and back and then moved to the front, nothing overt. I think she sensed I was going to initiate so she leaned forward and said she was getting out. I didn't say a word. She gets out and asks what that look on my face is and I brush it off and don't respond.

She moves to the bed and after I get out of the bath I walk to the bed, without saying anything, and overtly initiate sex. She gives me a couple of soft no's, which I ignore, and then a hard no. I then immediately get out of bed and get dressed - I tell her I'll be back later. Her response, with her arms raised up, is, "wait, why, where are you going?" I respond, "I'm going out, I'll be back later" and leave. I stayed gone for about an hour and when I return she's asleep. I get in the bed and go to sleep.

The next day I'm radio silent unless she asks about logistical issues. In the afternoon, as she's getting her hair done, she texts me something like this, "Hey, are you busy this afternoon? I'm getting my hair done and I don't want to be late to get the kids from school." Obviously a passive-aggressive way to get me to leave work and pick up kids. I shoot this down immediately and respond, "yes and I'm not getting kids from school." She gets them.

So, after work I'm doing my own thing around the house and not paying her any attention. Once the kids are down I go for a run while she talks to her sister on the phone about her sister's marital problems. When I get home she tells me about her sister's inevitable divorce and I listen without much feedback. I then tell her I'll be back in a bit and she asks, "where are you going this time?" My response, "for a drive."

When I return she's sitting on the couch watching some rom-com and wants to tell me about it. I'm not interested so I go upstairs to shower, get in bed and read MMSLP. About an hour later I go out to the back patio where she is, sit down next to her, and proceed to tell her how we will be handling finances, grocery shopping and other aspects of our family life moving forward. I clearly define what our roles will be for each, and what our goals are moving forward and into 2016. Everything I say is met with a very open and receptive, "ok," "sure," "yes." NO PUSH BACK AT ALL WHICH IS FUCKING SURPRISING.

When we get up to go to bed, I tell her to stop. Earlier in the night when she was telling me about her sister's divorce issue she asked me if I thought she would end up the same way as her sister, mom and grandmother (all divorced or going to be divorced). I ignored the question. Well, when we were leaving the patio later that night I said, "If I thought you were going down the same road as your sister, mom and grandmother, I wouldn't be here." She starts tearing up and says, "I know I don't do everything right, but I'm trying" etc. I may've been wrong but I think I recognized, for the first time, a COMFORT TEST and based upon what I've read here and on MMSLP I walked over and took her into my arms. She cried for a bit and told me thank you for always being patient. I waited for a minute and said, "just make sure you fuck me four times a week and we'll be good." She chuckled and said, "can I just get you a girlfriend - wait, I'm totally joking." My response, "as long as she's hispanic and into threesomes.

Sex last night was epic.

My takeaway from this 24 hour period is not that it culminated in sex. No. Me keeping frame (as best I can at this point) allowed me to STFU, NGAF and then lead her on the back patio with respect to the family's finances and other things. I'm defining everyone's roles and setting the tone because I know what's best for the family and I have a vision. As I was discussing all of this I felt like she was sucking it up like a sponge. That's what feels good this morning.

Comments?