Still very new to TRP and MRP, and am only part way through NMMNG, but am working on myself.

Over the last week I've heard "Are you doing this 'standing up to me' thing? Because if you are I really don't like it." twice from my SO.

The first time was in an email while trying to arrange friends coming to visit, the SO and I are going out for breakfast and friends are joining after we are done. I didn't want to invite them to breakfast as they'll be late, cause us to have breakfast late and I just can't be dealing with that. I ignored it and friends are now joining us after breakfast.

The second was during a conversation about doing a joint 30th birthday event for the two of us. She doesn't like my brother and doesn't want him there. I want him to be there. I maintained my position and calmly stuck to my point of wanting to invite my brother. She brings out the guns of "are you choosing him over having me there?". I keep calm and firmly explain that I'm not going to have her dictate who I choose to invite for my part of a joint birthday. I'm not choosing him over her, if she doesn't want to come then it's up to her. She's concerned he'll kick up a fuss or try to control some part of the event, or ruin something. I very firmly stated that if there was any fuss/controlling from him then I would stand up to him and deal with him as well. (I'm not going to be walked over any more).

In the past there would have been back tracking, "of course I'm not choosing him over you", "whatever you want" etc... There would have been raised voices, shouting and hurt and the evening would have been ruined. IDGAF any more what the outcome of these conflicts are, I'm happy with myself and what I want to do.

This time, I stood my ground, stood on it firmly and didn't give in. After this conversation she retreated into FaceBook for a while and we ended up having a good evening.

Small steps, but I'm standing up for myself, what I want and what will make me happy.