To plate or put on hold

simbarlion · 2018-10-29T06:57:30+00:00

if you're not ready to nuke the marriage, take the win in the offer, and leave it at that.

Otherwise there is a fuckload of room to move in the statement "its your life".

Because its your life. Its ending one day at a time.

FoxShitNasty83 · 2018-10-29T07:25:24+00:00

We are in the same boat, your wife dosent find you attractive but other women are starting to. Having been in a db for years the question you need to ask yourself is... Is it worth it? Ask it of both your marriage and the blow job offering bitch. Will it change anything? Other than getting your dick wet what is your mission? These are bigger questions that are more important and need more focus.

These are distractions, little sweet gingerbread houses off the path of your mission but potentially vital rest stops to prevent your balls from dragging along the stony path. Go on son take a rest drain them... Watch out for man traps.

Besides if your working the levels of dread then you will at somepoint be in a position to tell your wife you will be going to get sex elsewhere.. but you/we need a strong frame before that.

roberthenri · 2018-10-29T05:52:41+00:00

Why are you asking random people on the Internet if it's okay to get a blowjob? All you are really looking for is permission so here you go:

You're a faggot.

screechhater · 2018-10-29T10:30:03+00:00

31 in a deadbedroom for years ?

Tell me what’s wrong with this ?

“Past traumas so can’t have sex.... “. Oh please you are unattractive to her

Sidebar>>>>>. Weight room. Lift.

BarracudaRP · 2018-10-29T10:40:01+00:00

You don't have your shit together well enough to cheat, that's what my gut says. You can physically accept the bj, but your non-existant frame is going to bring you problems there too.

But you know what? You should go for it anyways. Maybe the bj will remind you that your 33 year old wife should not be drier than the Sahara, and that maybe your own faggotry is more than just "a lot of" the problem. And maybe when you find some way to implode your marriage, you can come back here and actually decide to do something about it.

So OP, you got your advice, you know the rules: what are you lifting, reading and STFUing? But we know you're not, because you're not sure you're ready to swallow the pill. You're staring into the matrix code and wondering if you'd rather go back to your cube job. You want to come to Fight Club and just watch. GTFO

Edit: I just realized your title is "plate or put on hold". That's like the 300lb girl asking if she should do crunches or planks. Valid question, valid answers, completely uncalibrated timing.

Fritz_Frauenraub · 2018-10-29T10:59:01+00:00

Dread IS hormone therapy. Literally. And it's free.

DownVoteForDickPic · 2018-10-29T12:12:34+00:00

Rather than ask the right thing to do, ask what will change depending on the path you take.

NO BLOWIE: You continue improving right? You find other offers down the road because abundance right? Wife either does or doesn’t get on board because you don’t care and it’s not about her right?

TAKE THE BLOWIE: You experience a little “reward” for your work but you don’t take your foot off the gas right? She finds out maybe but you don’t DEER and don’t lose frame right? You don’t justify your blowjob, or get oneitis for another from this girl right?

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-10-29T13:06:52+00:00

I have always had a moral code of not cheating and have succeeded so far in upholding it despite the dead bedroom

She's expecting celibacy and fidelity at the same time.

Who has the fucked up moral code here?

Read the rational male and pay special close attention to how he ends it.

Read that book faggot.

UEMcGill · 2018-10-29T15:07:09+00:00

You should judge all women by their actions, not their words. The first lesson here is what is the take away from both the women here.

As others have pointed out, your wife expects fidelity without sexual access. Meanwhile another woman has offered sexual access, without clear motivation as to why.

Before you go getting all giddy about the no strings attached blow job you should look at that woman's motivation. Look at her character, and her history for a show of her value.

She knows somewhat of my situation though her ex who was an ex-good-friend of mine, but also a pathological liar it turns out and currently serving a long term prison sentence.

What does this tell you about the sum of her choices through the years? Do you think this is high value woman who is down on her luck? Or maybe she's a crazy woman who has a history of really bad decision making and is looking to branch swing to the next bad decision.

An Alpha can step back and look at the decisions going forward from a value standpoint. "Does this choice add value to my life or take value? Do other options add more value?"

If you want to get your dick sucked, go get a pro to do it; you pay pro's to go away after the sex, not for the sex.

The same question needs to be asked of your wife, what value does she provide? Does the return on value invested into the relationship give you better value than if you just moved on and built something new?

Right now you're probably a poor judge of all of this, as you are lacking both the intellectual muscles and the actual ones to see it. I generally tell guys one month of unfucking for every month of fucking your marriage.

Goodluck, sidebar and read.

-Acta-Non-Verba- · 2018-10-29T16:52:07+00:00

My take: Explain to wife that her failure to take care of you is a violation of marriage covenants. If she chooses to continue to disregard them, the marriage is over. You can then find someone who wants both wife privileges AND duties.

nastynickdr · 2018-10-29T17:05:52+00:00

No sex for YEARS? At 30ish years old?

Do you have kids? If not, just handle her the papers. "You are a great person, but it turns out we are not compatible. I want to be single again. Here are the papers for you to sign"

> I have always had a moral code of not cheating and have succeeded so far in upholding it despite the dead bedroom while still gaming and flirting reasonably regularly

She hasnt fucked you in YEARS. Thats breaking the "marriage contract". The worst part is you complying to that like a chump.

> I think that a she would be down for a strictly FWB

Very likely she will aim to replace your wife. If your frame is weak you´ll get drama.

Bottom line, you do you. Make your own choices. Cheat or not cheat. Divorce or not divorce. But make the decision, OWN IT and be man enough to go through the consequences. A lot better than having other people decide your life for you.

BobbyPeru · 2018-10-29T07:00:42+00:00

but also a pathological liar it turns out and currently serving a long term prison sentence. I let her know I was potentially interested and tried to not stiff arm her or lead her on excessively.

How did this communication occur? If you put this’s is writing, you’re a dumbass given how you described this woman’s character. Yeah, If you are going to find some stray, a chick in prison is about as dumb as it gets. Also, it reeks of desperation. Lift, sidebar. Become attractive

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-10-29T11:53:14+00:00

Your ex coworker sounds like a crazy bitch. No. Choose wisely.

TheThirdT · 2018-10-29T17:53:21+00:00

If you can't make a decision like this on your own then you should default to no.

I see you are hoping on a lot of external things will somehow improve your life (wife going to therapy, healthcare to make therapy affordable, FWB to strengthen your frame, goodwill of FWB).

You need to take action to achieve the things you want. Letting things happen will always be ineffective.

MarriedRedEnough · 2018-10-29T20:52:00+00:00

I would rail that out.

Psychocist · 2018-11-02T20:47:33+00:00

I'm working on myself, physically (weak but naturally fit and attractive) and mentally/frame-wise (weak but improving).

Question:

Was just propositioned by ex-work acquaintance outright for sex. She knows somewhat of my situation though her ex who was an ex-good-friend of mine, but also a pathological liar it turns out and currently serving a long term prison sentence. I let her know I was potentially interested and tried to not stiff arm her or lead her on excessively.

It is no surprise you have a dead bedroom on your hands. This is ALL your doing. Every second of it. You've lost your confidence (if you ever had it) and she is utterly bored of desperate sexual advances. But ya know what, you're probably bored to tears with her, too. Accept it. Spark is gone, stop trying to recreate it.

How do you change your actual mindset so it is more healthy?

Talk to and game other women. You say you've gamed, but then say you've only had one hard offer? You would have many opportunities if you'd been gaming AND improving yourself. Suddenly your dry wife would start to look far less appetising. She will notice your gaze wander and you become a better man and will start to get very curious as the dread sets in.

All you gotta do is focus on yourself. You are the prize, she gravitates towards you, not the other way around.

adeptintact · 2018-11-04T06:30:58+00:00

Life is too short to be in a marriage without sex. Have the sex with the other girl and be prepared to divorce if your wife finds out.

Title	To plate or put on hold
Author	gringomasloco
Upvotes	8
Comments	37
Date	29 October 2018 05:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/203845
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9sag9k/to_plate_or_put_on_hold/