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Do a lot of men let their wives know the pin to their phones?

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September 20, 2018

A friend of mine's marriage is falling apart. He told me about things he saw on her phone and things she saw on his. I've heard similar stories from others. I keep my phone locked up with a pin, and my wife doesn't know it. She also keeps hers locked by pin. What am I missing? How could anyone look at one another's phone if you keep your pins private as I assumed most normal people do.

Post Information
Title Do a lot of men let their wives know the pin to their phones?
Author healthyteacher4
Upvotes 13
Comments 28
Date 20 September 2018 05:04 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204003
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9hch30/do_a_lot_of_men_let_their_wives_know_the_pin_to/
Similar Posts

[–]SBDadvanced17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

A lot of men don't have pins on their phones and couldn't care less if their wives looked at their phones or vice versa.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No pin on your phone strikes me as an unnecessarily huge security risk - independent of your wife. Not seeing the benefit of that.

[–]Grimsterr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is me and the wife, well we have pins for security in case we lose our phones or they're stolen but they're the same pin we use for other stuff.

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No pin on my phone, no pin on her phone. If she suddenly pinned her phone that might be a bad sign.

[–]lololasaurus4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There will be different opinions on this... Mine is that a healthy marriage would have transparency there.

That said it doesn't matter, because there are plenty of ways she can have covert conversations with no accountability anyway and if she wants to cheat she certainly doesn't need a pin on her phone.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

We know each other’s PIN.

[–]2ndalRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone should have a PIN on their phone as a failsafe in case it's lost or stolen. This should give you enough time to remotely wipe the device and protect any personal information. (This is particularly important as I make heavy use of NFC mobile payment technology, meaning my phone is essentially my wallet.) Further, I am required to keep a PIN on my phone for work reasons and my wife knows what it is. I have her keep a PIN on her phone and I know what it is as well.

There are things on my phone that I'd rather she didn't see, such as my contributions to this subreddit, but if she did see them it wouldn't be the end of the world. While this stuff is not something I very regularly (or with much detail) talk to her about, it's not a secret, per se, in that I wouldn't deny its existence and there's nothing here I would refute if she were to read it. I'd just rather she didn't see how the sausage is made, you know? In fact I'd say if she were to read what I write here, it'd be eye opening for her, it would make a lot of dots connect, but she wouldn't be upset and would likely agree with the bulk of it.

[–]marks19953 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife and I both know each others' PINS.

Your friends marriage wasn't falling apart because of what they saw on their phones. What they saw on their phones was the result of their marriage falling apart.

[–]TheCaptainDammit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, my wife has the pin to my phone. It's really just for convenience reasons. There are tons of little things on my phone (coupons, mobile boarding passes while traveling, the phone number of someone in my address book, etc etc etc) that she might need access to and it's easier if she can just unlock it. I have the pin to her phone for the same reason. I've never snooped through it and as far as I know she's never snooped through mine.

When I was younger I had a relationship fall apart because a gf snooped through my e-mail and saw some things I didn't want her to see. After the dust had settled from that I realized that the fact that we'd been lying to each other meant that the relationship was no good. The solution wasn't to lock my e-mail better, it was to not have things that I needed to hide. As I said, I don't condone snooping but if my wife did snoop the worst thing she'd see are crass jokes between me and some of my friends.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always secure and encrypt your phone, as a general principle.

We both know each other's pin to get into the phone, and are keyed into the fingerprint. I don't care to read what's on her phone, and she doesn't care to read what's on mine.

We have better things to do with our time.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]nantucketghost1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course my wife knows my pin. I don't care. I have nothing on it I need to hide.

If you're actively hiding stuff, you're in a doomed marriage already.

I know hers, she knows mine. Fuck, it's the same pin. My kid knows our pins. Make calls on your phone, send a few messages, after that, stop playing with it.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Recipe for disaster.

Edit: I'm referring to phone passwords

[–]Middle_Aged_Child0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’d guess this is more of a case by case kind of answer. Neither of us care. We both have pins but I’ve never asked to go through her phone. She’s never asked to go through mine.

[–]dandar46000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She knows mine, I have my fingerprint added to hers. She knows my reddit username. I know all the passwords we use. The main reason our phones are locked is for easier unlocking with finger print. Otherwise you'd have to press power then slide to unlock.

[–]Chrysoscelis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife is irrational. She will create stories in her head based on the thinnest of evidence. She won't say it outright, but the only way to make her happy is if I didn't talk to any females and even then she gets jealous of male friends. I refuse to abide by those abusive rules, so I do normal things that would make her upset.

If I could trust HER to be rational then I could probably trust her to look at my phone. But she has a history of snooping so I unapologetically keep all of my accounts locked down.

[–]Mukato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I use face ID, no PIN sharing here and no fingerprint that can be used while I sleep.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My phone is locked because bank apps. Money flows on this thing.

Nothing has changed except our paranoia.

Stop worrying about what others are doing. If shes cheating you know what to do next

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife and I both have pins on our phone but it’s no secret. I use a pin because I don’t see why anyone other than myself or my wife should have access to my phone. I also leave my phone around in the office so I like that no one can come over and get on it for any reason.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know her pin, she knows mine for my personal phone. We know each other's computer passwords. She doesn't snoop much (I have a keylogger to check). She doesn't know about fight club and doesn't have my work computer password or work phone pin (she doesn't ask for those).

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I expect and will not accept anything but complete transparency. That means I will look at her phone or anything anytime I want. I won’t hide it nor will I apologize. But with that said... I need to give transparency too. I’m am open book in every way shape or form and always will be and wont spend a second with a woman who isn’t the same.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After reading all the responses, it's safe to say... some men keep private, some do not. It's a toss of the coin.

[–]r_u_a_badfish20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wife and I used to have complete transparency. But she would take advantage of that by snooping, while I couldn’t give two shits what’s on her phone. She would check my FB, search history, LinkedIn etc. And she would start drama over any woman I friended or some TRP post I read etc.

So now I have a PIN that she doesn’t know. Yeah yeah I know TRP says DGAF about what your wife reads on your phone. But she will make a mountain out of a mole hill about stupid shit. I was tired of her harping.

However, I would soon like to go back to complete transparency. This phone blockade was supposed to be a punishment of sorts (bc of her excessive snooping). But I think complete transparency is healthy for the TRP-minded husband and for overall trust in the relationship.

[–]helaughsinhidden-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No pin. IDGAF

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know my wife's pin. She doesn't know mine. Sometimes she grouses about it, I'll make a joke about it "it's for your own protection." Or some such.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I let my wife know mine, but she keeps forgetting it. I don't know my wife's pin' and I don't want to have to know more pin numbers! If I need to use her phone I ask her to unlock it. I could care less if she looked at my phone. She knows I like to get instragram attention whore pics that come over.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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