Shit test, how should I have responded?

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November 16, 2017
7 upvotes

The setup, our teacher told our kid he's not allowed to bring fig newtons to school because she classifies them as a cookie. It's a private school, whatever. Doesn't matter.

I tell her I'll clarify with the teacher at pickup today. They were 5 minutes late releasing the kids, and we already had to be on the road to pick his mother up from her job, also had to stand in line to pick up something from a school fundraiser. Time was of the essence and this is all happening on my lunch break.

I pick her up , we're driving a bit and she asks if I asked the teacher, I say "no." She calls me a wuss. Playfully, which she thinks makes it funny, but I know better. I give a quick chuckle and tell her to just watch it. (I wish I kept my mouth shut, but this whole red pill stuff is very new to me, I don't want to go too hard too fast, as she's already accused me of texting with some imaginary woman she thinks I've been working out to impress. I've been working out because I've decided I'm not the piece of shit society wants me to think I am.)

We get home and she's bringing me drinks, asking me if I'm okay. I told her I'm excellent and thanks for the drink. I'm back at work and not really sure where to go from here. The only changes I've really made in my day to day so far are working out pushups (consistently hitting 40) some yoga, jumping rope like a madman, and eating considerably better.

Her calling me a wuss has always been a laughable offense, nothing I would ever have gotten sore about, but now that I know the biology underneath what she said, that shit ain't going to fly right off me anymore. She then, when we get home tries to show me this new fireplace thing she wants for the living room.


Post Information
Title Shit test, how should I have responded?
Author yarmysmardarm
Upvotes 7
Comments 51
Date 16 November 2017 09:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205160
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7dfrmk/shit_test_how_should_i_have_responded/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test
Comments

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (4 children) | Copy

Stop using your porn account for MRP. Make an RP only account.

[–]hystericalbonding23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

We've never had a fig newton-related crisis before. Congratulations on a first.

I'm sure you realize how ridiculous it sounds that you should give enough fucks about fig newtons to bother asking the teacher. Your wife cares enough to ask, you don't. Own it. It's not like your kid is going to die of fig newton deficiency.

She probably cares because she sees it as the school passing judgment on the nutritional choices made by her. That's her fucking problem.

[–]AustralianArm6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I still don't get why he's sending his kid to school with Fig Newtons in the first place. Highly refined carbs and shitty sugar.

As an Australian, I had to look up what a Fig Newton is. We have something similar called a Fruit Pillow here. Horrid pastry crap on the outside, horrid dried fruit paste on the inside.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fruit pillow is my new favorite insult.

"How dare you question my child's nutritional choices, you smarmy fruit pillow."

[–]FlahFlahFlohi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Figgate 2017.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

40 pushups, holy shit! How do you find the time to buy the fig netwons?

[–]Marcus_Aurtrillius2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Haven't you heard? Fig Newtons = GAINS

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You owe me a coffee.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The gravitational force of his gigantic balls creates a wormhole he can just reach through into the snacks isle at Publix while pushing up.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She calls me a wuss.

Is your question what to do when she calls you a wuss?

but I know better.

You know that its not really funny? It sounds extremely lighthearted to me. Like 'playful jest' lighthearted

I give a quick chuckle and tell her to just watch it.

This response seems to have worked because....

We get home and she's bringing me drinks, asking me if I'm okay

however,

but now that I know the biology underneath what she said, that shit ain't going to fly right off me anymore

Yes, you should kill your wifes fun personality to lightly tease you.

Or, go back to

jumping rope like a madman

[–]BostonBrakeJob9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Totally unacceptable. Divorce the bitch.

[–]JudgeDoom694 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your Honor, she called me a wuss during the Fig Newton Affair (as it has come to be known).

Judge: Divorce granted. Next case please.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just spit out my drink and almost fell off the stool at this bar

[–]NightFire450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I love this sub. Better than r/jokes

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone new overdoses it initially. You never knew you had to protect boundries so you go attack dog at the rustle in the wind. It's ok, we all been there.

Me, I woulda played back "Of course I'm scared. I don't wanna get a detention"

Then wink and ask her to make you a sandwich

[–]oak_waterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I give a quick chuckle and tell her to just watch it

Do you have a record of avoiding confrontation with teachers? Gonna take awhile to change how she views you. Just be consistent.

I've been working out because I've decided I'm not the piece of shit society wants me to think I am.

You don't need to validate yourself to us. We don't care.

not really sure where to go from here

Um... just continue with your life? You don't need to get hung up on everything. That's called Rambo. Let it go if you're not going to address it immediately. You missed your chance. Worst case scenario, she sees you as she always has. That's fine for now.

working out pushups (consistently hitting 40) some yoga, jumping rope like a madman, and eating considerably better.

You better be 250 lbs overweight with crippling injuries to not be lifting heavy compounds. Also, "eating considerably better"? What the hell does that mean? Are you actually tracking anything?

that shit ain't going to fly right off me anymore

So are you going to come timidly to MRP, or are you going to act on your newfound indignation? I vote for the latter.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

You are some cast iron mother fucker, aren’t you ?

Try 100 push-ups to get warm to lift, better yet, just lift.

“Wuss”, that was called flirting

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

You are some cast iron mother fucker, aren’t you ?

u/Screechhater - Forever you now will look like samuel L jackson in Pulp ficton in my head.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Think of a white Samuel Jackson

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

i actually thought you were black

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could go either way.

He's got that generic look about him, could be anything

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I is an "Arian Spic" born in and walked the mean streets of LA either a White Honki assed mother fucker in So Central, or East LA or a fucking Spic in cracker white America

Loved the names and dickin' their bitches with my tanned skin.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

well at least i was right about you being from the 'hood. i grew up in white working class 'burb; but always worked at my dad's shop in East St. Louis. everyone should experience being the only white person in a grocery store. "hey white boy, you lost?"

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I could only be so lucky, but my brothers certainly have tainted thy language and what a mother fucking blessing it is to drop the f-bomb @ the top of my lungs telling a client he is absolutely right, but I ain't no dumb mother fucker so, so I ain't fuckin wrong. and, shit

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

now that I know the biology underneath what she said, that shit ain't going to fly right off me anymore.

Children with dynamite.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think she was right. You are a wuss if this is getting under your skin so much.

[–]Marcus_Aurtrillius1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is hardly a Shit Test imo. Shit Quiz, maybe...

You said she delivered it lightheartedly. Shit Tests are usually in an offensive or snarky tone. Maybe she really was just joking?

And it seems like this is a recurring joke from her? Either she really thinks you're a wuss (which is your fault) or she's just joking. Only you know the answer to that.

But are you really ready to go nuclear over minor name calling? "That shit ain't gonna fly anymore" is Rambo talk.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit Tests are usually in an offensive or snarky tone.

This! I like the terminology. This was a Shit Quiz, not a Shit Test. A smile and roll of the eyes was the only thing required to pass.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks r/incels, thanks a lot...

Now we have to deal with your shit.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've never seen a fig newton turn a guy into a raging pussy before.

What the hell do they put in those things?

[–]CrippleSlap0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So she called you a 'wuss' and you think that's a shit test????



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