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Help... Shit Test? Comfort Test?

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September 18, 2017
8 upvotes

Firstly, I have A LOT to learn. I came across RP only one week ago. My wife has threatened to leave many times before and I accept this is down to my Beta pussy ass tendencies. However, I was not always like that - marriage and kids have grinded me down. I'm good looking, great job, great dad and keep pretty fit although over the past few years I have let myself go a bit and developed a bit of a belly. Coincidently, I started getting my shit together a fews weeks before discovering RP and have been lifting furiously. I come from a kickboxing background so I can get fit quickly if needed. Sex four times this year so far and I have had meltdowns and exposed myself on occasions when she's threatened to leave and I've went begging. She's attractive as fuck and I've been guilty of constantly reminding her of this over the years.

So I discover RP last week..... OMFG I can't believe what I'm reading. Everything makes so much sense and my eyes have been opened. I've started indulging in the side bar and now I have a solid plan to become a fucking man again.

The past week she has been on her period. Just in time for me discovering RP. So over the weekend I start DNGAF and focus on me and my new mission. I notice all these shit tests coming thick and fast, however as a newbie I'm not confident enough to pass them. Usually when she starts unloading on me I always take the bait - I ALWAYS argue back and it all kicks off. This weekend I decided just to listen to her and then just STFU and focus on something else like playing with the kids. Wow, she huffed and puffed, I think frustrated at the lack of retaliation from me. I knew she could sense something had changed all of a sudden.

This morning I receive a text saying she is still not happy and I've to spend the rest of the week 'thinking about us' because she cant go on like this and that she's due to leave.

Advice? At this point I have just ignored the text. Have I rushed in too quick with DNGAF and distancing myself, STFU and focusing on me and not giving her the usual needy attention I would.

What do I do?


Post Information
Title Help... Shit Test? Comfort Test?
Author Jay_Jay_C
Upvotes 8
Comments 15
Date 18 September 2017 06:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205433
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/70tajn/help_shit_test_comfort_test/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betashit testcomfort testlift
Comments

[–]drty_prRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Step 1 - Relax. It's never too early to STFU. If your marriage fails because you didn't text her back, life will go on.

Step 2 - Kickboxing is cool and all but you need to be lifting heavy ass weights often. Also lose the beer gut.

Step 3 - Read the sidebar. I highly suggest NMMNG. You seem to be suffering here quite badly.

Step 4 - Don't try to over MRP it. Take it in stride. You'll fuck up, everyone does, just get back on the horse and keep going.

Step 5 - Ditch the wife goggles. When I came here I thought my wife was hot as a stolen hand gun. Now I see it as it is. She is an average girl, whom I could easily replace with another average girl. Also stop with excessive compliments. It'll be hard as you have developed a habit of it, but it'll come.

[–]Aaren_Augustine6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also stop with excessive compliments.

The positive version of too many "I'm sorry". Both unattractive.

[–]hystericalbonding6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

How to STFU, especially the top responses.

How to start working your way up the levels of dread without going Rambo.

Don't look at it as a way to save the marriage. It may already be dead. Save yourself. The marriage will change as you improve, and it may or may not suit your needs as you move forward.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can never STFU too quickly. Answer is STFU for you, because she's going to fucking pop you in a millisecond if you engage in dialogue. Comfort her with your presence. Look into her eyes, smile, put your hands on her shoulders, pull her close and hold her. Put your hand on the back of her neck while you are hugging her, pull her head away from you, and kiss her. Hold the kiss. This is their language.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I agree, I've been thinking about us most of the day already... Remember that time we fucked behind the Waffle House? That was so hot... Can you make us pancakes tomorrow?"

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I ALWAYS argue back

Don't. Only foolish men win arguments with women because only foolish men argue with them.

I receive a text saying she is still not happy and I've to spend the rest of the week 'thinking about us' because she cant go on like this and that she's due to leave.

I would text back: K

Then I would literally ignored her for about 2-3 days. Maybe longer. Get busy and STOP thinking about these horrifying orders from your woman that can only make the situation worse.

You need to stop focusing on her, and STOP feeding her drams. If she wants to leave let her. You do you! If you get a hotter/younger/tighter/better woman I promise you this harridan will be back in your life whining like a hurricane: "You never gave us a chance....blah blah blah blah" AND ready to fuck and suck you into a coma.

You can't force a girl to fuck and suck but The Red Pill shows us that THE SECOND you have another eager mouth to fuck and suck, suddenly the cunts decide they can use their mouths for something other than bitching and whining. Go figure.

To him who has much more will be given. To him who has little, even the little that he has will be taken away.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

find a competition for kickboxing and start training for it. opportunity for withdrawal. opportunity to invest in you. opportunity to get into best possible shape.

When I started training in jujitsu again after not doing it for years my wife was so pissed. "how much does that cost? what activities do I get? FUCK you!!" totally ignored her and just went. felt great. won a tournament a little bit ago. now she finds it attractive and there is dread because of the females in the jujitsu circles etc...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

When in doubt it's never bad to not add any words/interaction to the mix.

Did you like the homework assignment she gave you? That's a funny little power tactic.

"I'll have that back to you collated and in triplicate by c.o.b. LOLday".

She notes your withdrawal and is trying to keep you in her frame by having you invest time away from her with this activity. "Well, he's choosing to not be around me, I'll have him try to think about me when he's not around me and that'll be 75% as good".

A good rule of thumb with self control and not participating is if you find yourself in a mood that mirrors hers when she entered the fray (when you were minding your own business or really ngas to begin with) you took ownership of her emotions and let her cathartically divest herself. I.e. you became the emotional tampon.

So look at any convo coming in as her trying to give the hot potato of her emotions. Just because she's presenting it, you don't have to grab it...then she'll have to figure out how long she wants to juggle it from hand to hand before she finally drops it.

You'll need to really practice becoming "the observer" and weigh your interaction in any conversation BEFORE you speak. Helps if you practice when you don't need to and with anyone/everyone. "That man really measures his words". What they don't know if that you're not some genius Confucius, you're just practicing self control.

You'll know you're on the right track when you hear

You seem so

  • distant

  • alien

  • robotic

Eventually that'll go away when you can interact without being led somewhere you don't want to go.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey fucker welcome. So kick boxing is cool as fuck - either take that back up or another hand to hand thing if you can, it will pay dividends.

Lift, seems like you already know how, but best advice is to build big muscles, 5X5 is the go too around here.

You belly - tell it to GTFO. Your goal should be 12% or under. I'll tell you this: get under 12% and get good lean muscle mass going and you won't give so much of a fuck that your wife is a harpy bitch, because if she stays like that long you'll be able to close on any number of equal or hotter women. Read this again. Internalize it, do not communicate it.

Find the recent post on abundance mentality.

Keep reading the sidebar.

OPSEC. Make sure it is tight. You gain nothing by your woman knowing anything to do with MRP - it just makes it harder. Nobody talks about fight club.

Go slow - if you don't know what Rambo means WRT to MRP find out, and don't be that guy. Expect 1 month for every year of being a little beta bitch to unfuck yourself. 12 years of beta? It should take at least 1 year to dig yourself out.

You gain nothing, and I mean nothing, by engaging in heated verbal intercourse with her. She wins on two fronts: 1) she gets the drama every woman so desperately craves and 2) she will kick your ass every time on the emotional level, and will never all of a sudden say "hey you are right... never thought of it like that". Sometime in the future you will be able to create drama for fun, it will be entertaining for you, and will give her her hit. But that's like 1-2 years down the road.

To answer your question: a good rule of thumb I use (but not a hard and fast rule) is this. If her test starts with "I" then it means comfort. From my experience "you" can mean both, but is more often a shit test.

Edit: "she is attractive as fuck..."

So I was there too. It's fucking ridiculous. I convinced myself that somehow I won the fucking lottery and would never pull another woman of equal SMV. Tell yourself this because it's true. There are 3 billion pussies out there. Yours, or the one you consider to be yours (which it's really not if you consider you've only fucked like 4 times in the past year) is replaceable.

Edit 2: text is only for logistics.

[–]Jay_Jay_C[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Excellent feedback from all so far. Rewind six months I would've replied to her text immediately, probably with multiple messages pleading for her not to think like that and we can work it out etc. Those days are gone. As a RP white belt I have a lot of researching and transformation ahead of me and I can't wait. As for the text, just continue to ignore it? When she finally asks 'have you thought about us then', best response would be?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes: Are there degrees of ignoring? If so, ignore that shit with the Fire of a Thousand Suns.

If she asks "have you been thinking about us", you have two options:

Option 1) fog that shit: "Did you think about us like I asked?" "Think about us in what way?" "Think about how I'm unhappy and what you're going to do about it?" "What will my thinking about your unhappiness accomplish?" "You thinking would make you realize what to do to fix our marriage!" "I understand you feel that way, but I don't agree." "You don't agree with what?" "I don't agree that it's my responsible to think of ways to make you happy." (End there, broken record from there on out)

Option 2) agree and amplify: "Did you think about us like I asked?" "Oh I thought about us alright. I thought about us in the bedroom. I thought about us in the shower. I even thought about us in the backseat of my car from high school (Sly smirk)" "No asshole, Im serious?!" "Hi Serious. I'm Jay. Nice to meet you!"

One is to take her seriously but ignore the question. The other is to not take her seriously...and ignore the question. See a theme yet?

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Text should be for logistics only. Like

[Her] "Hey don't forget you need to pick (kid) up at 5:30 from practice?"

[You] "Got it handled"

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, the text is a shit test (I'm almost disappointed it wasn't done in person). I probably wouldn't respond back, or send back a cheeky response, like "I'll try not to think too hard, babe. ;)" or "Will your heart go on?" and then link Celine Dion (because really, that's pure torture).

Really, the main things you should be doing is increasing your SMV (working out, lifting as everyone says, doing cool manly hobbies of which you already have one, dressing two steps higher than you normally do) and generally just being attractive, which also includes stopping all the things that you are doing that are unattractive. Also, a key point is to recognize and start passing shit tests. Lots of ways to do that - STFU, FOG, A&A.

Just relax, breathe. I know this is eating you - take some time tonight to meditate.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't owe her anything. Remember that. You certainly shouldn't respond in any way to her request to think about the relationship and report back. The flip side is neither does she owe you anything. Not her affection, not her pussy, not her pleasant company. Can you turn yourself into someone who she wants to "owe" or put effort into? That's the question

[–]screechhaterRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Advice? At this point I have just ignored the text. Have I rushed in too quick with DNGAF and distancing myself, STFU and focusing on me and not giving her the usual needy attention I would."

Every fucking day is a new day of fun and laughter. You will not be effected by her threats.

Giver her attention, don;t fix her problems and don;t get into confrontations, don't be a dick, just tell her "hmn, lot's to think about on that...."

confrontation on text, "didn't see that, smile, I'm sorry.... kiss on the forehead"

Her, sleep on the couch, you- "I don't mind if you do...."

This is your life, your house and you will be a part of it

sex only 4x this year ? read

Lot's of great advice here, consistency is king and maybe water fast to kill the belly, hurry

fucking lift dude



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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