I read Simbarlion's post and then read all of Casual Shanter's stuff and it hit home, made me think, so now its time to share with everyone. I've been at this for a few months or more, had success and failure, a rambo episode, a minor back injury from lifting, but I'm a work in progress and still going forward.
Background: Married 15 years and no kids. Both of us are professionals with high education, and have our own businesses that occupy most of our time (12 hour days on weekdays, always some hours also on weekends). I make time for the gym 5 days/week and have become more attractive, I lead more, I flirt, kino, etc. since starting with the red pill.
Marriage Background: We met in college while I was spinning plates (I didn't know it was called that at the time). She was a virgin until around age 27 when she gave it up one night with me. She was raised in a very catholic family where good girls didn't do these things, it wasn't proper to do alot of things during her upbringing. She focused on her education and didn't do many fun things until she met me, and she had a kind of child like innocence sometimes. The sex was kind of boring and never frequent. Like a dumbass I didn't set the rules of the relationship right then and there. Instead I accepted IV drip sex once a month or less for all of our marriage. Even during our first year of marriage it was once every 3 or 4 weeks with me fapping to keep my needs met. I didn't imagine that it should or could be different and just accepted it...until my unhappiness led me to find the red pill.
Progress: I'm no doubt a better man, not there yet, many things to work on. Sex has increased to once every 1-2 weeks but she's really not into it, very starfish, and she would rather do oral sex than intercourse. She feels pressured to do her "wifely duties" It seems like a chore for her, another thing on the list. She has every excuse available and most recently said that she has vaginal secretions the next day that make her feel like she is wetting her pants. She really has trouble with immersion, I haven't even tried dominance (working on DEVI from SGM).
Rambo episode: I had a Rambo event about one month ago. We went on a 4 day trip for our anniversary and didn't have sex any of the nights we were there. I tried to be fun and flirty but the last night after some drinks I told her that I'm not happy with the frequency of sex, and I want my needs met (I just finished reading WISNIFG). She said I was selfish and only cared about myself. I replied with "who else is more concerned about me" and said that I can withhold my attention to her just like she can withhold sex. Yeah, rough trip home but things smoothed over after a few days. I think I scared the shit out of her but it was way too much too soon.
Problem/Question (finally): Is there such a thing as a woman who has low libido, sexual repression, or whatever? Obviously there are issues with me I need to work on, but...she has deep seated moral conditioning from her upbringing as to what a proper girl does, she was a virgin for so many years (WTF how is that even possible with a normal sex drive), and we never had that crazy newlywed animal sex. What am I up against here? I'm trying to change the rules after 15 years and sometimes doubt that I have the correct female raw material here to make into my sex goddess. Any advice is appreciated. I know...stick with the plan of making a better me, slowly up the dread, and don't give fuck about her/the relationship. Maybe my story will help someone else.
TLDR: Wondering if my wife is a special case of "low sex drive snowflake" given our history