How do I make the first move without being creepy when a girl invites me to her home?

asktrp4433 · 2019-03-21T11:07:30+00:00

She invited you over. She knows why you're going. The other one ghosted you because you didn't fuck her brains out.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2019-03-21T13:13:18+00:00

How do I make a first move without turning out creepy or awkward

I can get you 90% of the way there by pointing out two features that nearly all interactions which are perceived as "creepy" have in common: (1) the guy moves too fast (2) he retreats too far and too early.

Start looking for those two features in depictions of creepy/awkward interactions in movies and you'll see what I mea. They're depicted that way because it rings true - people see it and can relate to it, because we've all been there. It usually goes like this: the guy moves in for a kiss, he moves really fast, the girl is surprised (because sudden movements are startling) and even if she was receptive to the kiss, her natural reaction is to pull back, just because she's surprised. Part 2, the guy retreats all the way - like, he practically runs away while apologizing.

With that in mind, here's a basic template (so detailed even an autist can use it): (1) eye contact. Hold it for a second. This communicates your intent to make a move. She'll know what you're thinking; this is the way humans have communicated desire since before we had language. Optionally (but recommended) I like to look her up and down one time and just imagine her naked, then return to the eye contact and spring a giant, shit-eating grin. Women absolutely know what you're thinking, and it's okay, it makes them feel good to know they're desired that way.

(2) get your arm around her. You don't exactly pull her in. You just guide her in. If she's pulling away or not into it, no big deal, you're not doing anything wrong, I'll cover some recovery options in a minute. The point is, with your arms around her you'll easily feel her pull back and you can take that as a cue to stop. But frankly, if she gave you anything other than a grimace in step 1, you're probably cleared for take off.

You can put your arm around her first if you like, but I think guys get hung up there. Like, they put their arm around a girl and then just stop. And then they're stressing about when they should take the next step. You can do it first if it's convenient (as it might be when you first sit down on the couch) but if you do, don't think of it as having made a move yet.

(3) don't peck her. Give her a real kiss. I guess if you're really fucking clueless, this could be a topic all to itself. For now, just remember to not go too fast. Relax, move in slowly, get a nice, gentle, soft kiss in. Then pull back and look at her again.

(4) reposition her so that you can keep making out. Assuming she was receptive to the kiss, don't be shy. Physically pick her up and rearrange her so that you're not at any uncomfortable angle. Move her legs onto your lap, for example. If you got your kiss while standing, take her hand and lead her to a place where you can sit down and make out.

Is that helpful at all? Let me know if you need more.

If there's a bit of a miscommunication or you fuck it up, don't act like it's a big deal. Unless she's your employee (lol) you haven't done anything wrong. Don't run away. I can think of two cases where this happened to me and I recovered from it. The first one, I got a weird look from her which I misinterpreted to mean "ooh, naughty" but I guess she meant "not here." We were on a tennis court in broad daylight. I went in for the kiss and she pulled back. So okay, I feel that happening so I just stop and look at her. I waited for her to say something but she didn't, so I said, "hmm, I thought I was getting a vibe there." She said, "not here!" I cracked a joke to ease up the tension - I said, "how about that other tennis court of there" - she laughed. I said, "come on, let's go to my place" and she was totally down.

The other time, I'm not sure how I fucked up the kiss, but I basically gave her just a quick little peck. I'm honestly not sure why I did that. Alcohol may have been involved. We were saying goodbye at the end of a date. So she takes the kiss and begins to walk away. I said, "hey hold up, come back for a second." She comes back. I said, "I feel like that kiss didn't properly demonstrate my ability to kiss" then I just kissed her again, but passionately this time. Worked like a charm.

So there you go. Communicate (with eye contact and attention to where her body is moving), kiss for real not like a 13 year old, and be cool if you fuck it up.

deadrobins · 2019-03-21T12:40:19+00:00

I had a tinder date with an easy 9/10 a few months ago. Typically someone way out of my league. We met at a bar and got pretty drunk. On the way to our cars she said “I hate that when someone wants to come over and watch a movie that somehow immediately means sex. Sometimes I just want to watch a movie. You know?”

I said yeah, I understand. She then asked if she could follow me to my place to ‘watch a movie’. About an hour later I was plowing her brains out.

Don’t listen to what they say. It’s just a shit test.

AloofusMaximus · 2019-03-21T12:26:36+00:00

"Watching a movie" is woman's for come fuck me. You're being invited over, what else do you want a neon fucking sign?

What I do when I have a new girl over is this... We're both sitting on the couch, if shes too far away for me to kino, after a few minutes (of talking)I pat the cushion next to me.
Always, without fail, they scoot a bit closer.

Women aren't coming to your place (or inviting you to theirs), if they're not at least open to the idea if having sex with you.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-03-21T14:31:29+00:00

I WAS AS DUMB AS YOU ARE ONCE!

At first I laughed, then I cringed because I remember all the clear signals that I completely missed when I was in high school. Girl I was crushing on hard invited me over to watch MALCOM X when her parents were gone. Kept saying this movie is boring and staring at ME instead of watching the movie. I got mad because she wasn't "at least giving it a try" and left. Fast forward six months, she tells me in one conversation that her parents have to go to a work christmas party AND she loves their new fireplace and would like to have sex in front of it AND asked me what I thought of the fact that she lost her virginity. I said I didn't believe her because she was a church girl, then realized she was serious, so I got jealous and called her a slut. WTF?!?!? I was so dumb.

BookyMcBooks · 2019-03-21T12:34:47+00:00

Being alone with a girl is an invitation to fuck/kiss/whatever, how did you not realize this?

Fucty_Artsy · 2019-03-21T12:57:23+00:00

Read DiCarlos Escalation Ladder https://www.slideshare.net/vhie130501/16768511-vindicarloescalationladder

tothetopbaby1 · 2019-03-21T17:19:44+00:00

I think it’s deeper that what you should do or how you should make a move...I think the real cause is how you THINK..how do you think of these girls that are inviting you to THEIR homes.

Do you think they are some pretty little innocent snow flakes, or do you see that they are human beings..do you realize that women enjoy sex just as much as men and some a lot more.

When you think of women as women and not pretty little innocent girls your actions will follow those thoughts and you will fuck them. I’m guessing a part of you truly thinks that bitches don’t like to get fucked, they do but most just hide it.

TLDR; these hoes being going, you just gotta try em. Be willing to take the L, don’t be scared to take the L bro, if you expose yourself to an L by law you’re exposing yourself to a W. To emphasize the point, these hoes be going; you just gotta try em.

seexo · 2019-03-21T12:58:24+00:00

You wouldn't be creepy! This is all in your head mate, women are used to that, you're able to escalate, you're able to do whatever you want when you go to her house by the pretenses of watching a movie.

In your mind you think it's creepy because you're still bluepilled, not problem with that, experience and this sub will do you wonders.

You can try some of those I used to do.

Start talking and she's gonna turn to you, look at her and then say "alright, close your eyes and count to 3" and kiss her (found this one in the sub)

She's telling you a story, look at her eyes, and say "You know what?" and kiss her. Can also say "Just, shut up", "Alright".

Fm661 · 2019-03-21T13:40:29+00:00

It’s only creepy if you are either unattractive or far too forward...

Think if you are getting invites over then it’s not the first, don’t do the second and it’s easy.

mallardcove · 2019-03-21T13:52:38+00:00

You take charge right away and do not hide your intentions or instincts

RedLegendx · 2019-03-21T11:09:58+00:00

If you’re on a couch with a girl watching a movie and she’s a bit away from you, you can always tell her that she’s a bit distant from you and she should get closer, prior to this you should have at least had some kino, kissed or made out with the chick (assuming you’ve gone out with her already hence you’re at her place) and escalate from there, get closer to her neck, tell her she smells nice and so on, the rest should be history.

AuberyBitoni · 2019-03-21T14:17:45+00:00

Just turn on the movie, put your arm around her, pull her a bit closer, touch her legs a bit with your other arm and then move in for the kiss after you make her laugh. It's easy, 100% succes rate so far.

Thotasaurus_Rex · 2019-03-21T11:49:18+00:00

Autism detected.

AceMav21 · 2019-03-21T18:08:05+00:00

She invited you to her fucking house. If you go in walking on egg shells you'll fuck up. Unless you a beta orbiter without knowing, which I doubt because you're here, you'll be fine.

Blazerman_24 · 2019-03-21T18:16:34+00:00

Dude it seems like she's giving you all the signals to make a move. These girls wouldn't invite you to their house if you gave off creeper vibes.

When you're over there, don't think too much about it n just make your move. If you meet any resistance n ask her straight up if she is down to have sex. If she says no, then stop if you're worried about false rape claims.

cuztrp · 2019-03-21T19:48:29+00:00

Look, there is no such thing as the "First move". There is escalation. There is starting small and building the sexual tension until it reaches a peak and that's when "the first move" by your definition happens.

You come across as awkward or creepy if for the entire evening you're talking to the girl from a distance and then all of the sudden you go for a kiss. That's creepy and awkward.

What you should do instead is to keep the physical proximity right from the beginning.

When you see her, you should give her a heart-warming tight hug. Squeeze her body with your chest muscles. Go for a kiss on the cheek if you're getting along really well.

From that point until you both sit your asses on the couch, keep the kino going by touching her casually on high points. High points are the points where your touching is justified.

"Damn Stacey! That was hilarious!" *tap on the shoulder*

"Ohh, look atchu u poor little thing" *caressing her cheeks*

(those are two examples taken out of contexts, but you get the idea)

There must be an excuse to touch her casually (thighs, arms, cheeks, shoulders...etc).

And then when you sit on the couch, make her sit next to you. Wrap your arm around her. It's easy. Be decisive in this. When you sit on the couch, extend your arm and nod with your head, "Come here".

If she protests or asks why, simply say that you're feeling cozy tonight and would like to cuddle a little. It works.

Once she's on your arm, you start gently caressing her shoulders. Give her a kind of soft massage. By this time, you should feel her getting heavier and heavier on your arm (htat's a green light to go for the kiss).

That's pretty much it, man.

It is important to mention, however, that while proceeding with all of these steps, you should gauge her level of interest. If she declines you physical proximity once or twice, then she's not looking forward to fuck you and is planning on a friendzone night.

Terdmuffin · 2019-03-21T21:16:00+00:00

I've found works for me is there is a point in the date where I just have the urge to make a move so I do. You have to just go for it. There's no waiting for the "right moment" because as with most things in life there's no magical right moment. The right moment is the moment you make. You say you didn't know you were supposed to make a move...who did you think was going to?

E9er · 2019-03-21T21:35:48+00:00

BROOOOO... rookie move... she invited you over because she wanted dick... any functioning guy would of fucked her brains out. she didn’t invite you over to read the dictionary.. YOU FUCKED THAT SHIT OVER... you can kiss ass to redo it but you’ll look weak like a bitch... lesson learned. one thing you have to get a girl alone to do something with her... but when SHE INVITES YOU OVER TO BE ALONE.... that’s green lights all over bro...

_Anarchon_ · 2019-03-21T21:44:08+00:00

Make her laugh somehow, or wait until she's laughing about something. Tell her she's got a cool laugh, and ask her if she's ticklish. Regardless of her answer, test it out. She's gonna grab your hand during that...let that linger. If her holding your hand lingers long enough, just go with it, and you know you're in.

resnine · 2019-03-21T15:08:33+00:00

Wow you autist

ChadTheWaiter100 · 2019-03-21T13:27:39+00:00

One time, when I wasn’t THAT experienced, a girl came over to “help me with my math hw.” To set the story up- my car was in the shop. My mom has to pick this girl up and drop her off at the house because my mom was still working. As soon as my mom left, the girl wanted to watch a movie.

I had sex earlier that day bc I had a girlfriend. Also one of my friends came over and smoked me out so I was pretty stoned. Ok so the girl was wearing booty short with long socks up to her knees. Her ass was amazing. Her body was so tight and perfect.

So we sat down on couch. She layed down so that her ass was pointing in my direction. When she did that I had instant boned. Her ass was so perfect. And I’m an ass conessiour. I couldn’t help but to start squeezing it. And that’s what she wanted anyway.

After a few minutes she said fuck this. She stood up. Knelt down in front of me and tried to rip my pants off. I helped her get my pants off. She started sick me off. Then she said just kidding. I just wanted to tease you. I said fuck that took her to the bed room and fucked her brains out. Shortly after I called my buddy over. I was gonna have him take her home and let him have seconds.

I was still a kid when I was orchestrating all this shit so my mom came home and said “no that’s inappropriate for him to drive her home. I’ll drive her home” I was like ok whatever. Then my friend took me to go play basketball and meet up with my friends where I, rightfully, bragged about my conquests and offered to set up for some of my friends to fuck her bc I thought she was so fucking exquisite.

FereallyRed · 2019-03-21T11:24:19+00:00

This is all on the sidebar.

Look at "how to open and close: beginners guide".

Look at "set a sexual frame".

To start. But read every article there.

You lost your shot with the girl...that's why she ghosted.

Never ask for a woman's perspective on your dating errors.. a fisherman doesn't ask fish how to catch fish, he asks successful fisherman. Don't listen to what women say, look at their actions...You know, like when one invites you into her home for a first meet off a dating site to "watch a movie." Women operate covertly.

There's nothing "creepy" about making a first move. Bluepill mindset. She WANTED you to fuck her. That's your job. Assume attraction.

lt050286 · 2019-03-21T15:09:53+00:00

Get out of your own head.. you’re looking at the situation like you have something to lose. You don’t, she does , be yourself focus on her body language and what she is saying also if they leave to get into something more comfortable or spends a long time in the bathroom it’s because she’s is checking herself out in the mirror.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-03-21T16:49:00+00:00

Kino escalation. Use the search bar.

Casanova-Quinn · 2019-03-21T19:02:42+00:00

You just need to assess the situation and look for signals. Did she invite you? Are you two alone? Is the activity romantic? Is she physically close to you? Is she giggling at your jokes? And so on...

If the answer to those types of questions is mostly positive, you can make a move. Don't worry about being creepy at that point, she's very likely attracted to you.

Don't overthink the signals either. Some alone are very obvious. Like, if she's coming to your place directly from tinder, she wants to fuck.

ElCidCampeon93 · 2019-03-21T19:16:24+00:00

Don't force it too much. You just maintain frame, enjoy hanging out with her, and let it naturally progress. Sit closely to her, put your arm around her if you're watching scary movies, etc.

kaolin224 · 2019-03-21T20:17:58+00:00

"Hey, listen... I've been looking forward to seeing you all day and I'd really like to kiss you. "

BitingInsects · 2019-03-21T20:27:26+00:00

It's only creepy if you mutually haven't been engaging in casual touch the whole time and building up to making the first move. A lot of times guys will try and just go for it when nothing has been built up yet.

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-03-21T21:36:07+00:00

Lift arm say come here she leans in 90 percent of the time, scratch her head a few times then when your bored use your other hand to lift her chin to kiss you and grab her neck after that do whatever she’s yours rub her legs or sit up and grab her legs and lift them so she’s on her back then get between them and kiss her neck I don’t have to tell what to do from here

HurricaneHugues · 2019-03-21T23:38:52+00:00

Just make a move dude. If she invites you over "to watch a movie", she isn't really inviting you for a movie. If she wanted to just watch a movie with someone she would call one of her girlfriends. The invitation is an open door for sex.

The best way for you to get comfortable with the whole thing is to give her a big hug when she greets you at her door, plant a kiss on her cheek and lift her off the geound with your hug.

WindIsMyMusic · 2019-03-22T01:11:12+00:00

Shit, this. I never know how to act if it's her house, not mine

wobbleelbbow · 2019-03-22T07:02:31+00:00

You act creepy when you leave. Otherwise you must embrace it and go for it. Do not fool us that you are afraid to appear creepy. You are afraid simply to make a move. So either do it or become a fag

Garathon · 2019-03-22T07:20:16+00:00

Dude, don't be a fucking soyboy. Stop drinking your soy milk ASAP.

Redditisfullofcucks · 2019-03-22T13:44:35+00:00

This is one of those things that while you can be explained how to behave in a specific scenario you would probably try to follow that advice to the letter with no room for ad libbing because you're missing some fundamental self-esteem. Which leads to you acting like a robot that can't go off script. I see this because I used to think the same way. You don't be creepy by being filled with authentic confidence that comes from time spent lifting and doing your best to excel in life. Then the issue of creepiness doesn't even factor into your thinking because you don't have any of this imposter syndrome that causes you to be so awkward. Your movements, the way you carry yourself, the way you formulate sentences, the way you can ad lib on the spot, the way you don't get on yourself for making a small blunder are all results from self-improvement that come naturally as rewards for working hard to get there.

It's not the answer you want to hear but if you don't address the fundamentals you'll never learn to wing it which will always bring you back here needing advice for every particular scenario because you haven't memorized each perfect answer that you can apply to the myriad of different possibilities you'll end up in.

friendandadvisor · 2019-03-25T08:55:23+00:00

First of all, stop being a homo.

After that, you will improve.

Title	How do I make the first move without being creepy when a girl invites me to her home?
Author	MandigoFalcon
Upvotes	110
Comments	93
Date	March 21, 2019 11:03 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b3p6ly/how_do_i_make_the_first_move_without_being_creepy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-make-the-first-move-without-being-creepy.222777 https://theredarchive.com/post/222777

Comments