I am in need of some outside views and comments:Since shortly i came to red pill and have made progress inmy way of thinking and acting.But… I notice some blue pillishness shining through andneed some guidance.

Long story short:Married. Affair since few months.Girlfriend (affair) is awesome.Practices all the red pill stuff instead of being the betafaggotry I displayed in my younger years.

She said I am everything she wants except for theFact I am married.She drives 40 miles (oneway) a few times a week to meet and fuck andhave fun together. She cooks me great and healthylunches.And I fuck her brains out. Best sex ever with being dominant.I don’t chase her too much and show my confidence.So that has worked tremendously.

Ive passed several shittest of her regarding other women,regarding being with my wife etc. by either not reactingor blowing it up.

I notice what she DOES instead of says.

Ive done plates in the past and don’t feel like this.I just wanna spend my time with this woman.Build this special thing out together.

Thing is… when she asked me if I will still have sexwith my wife… I ‘wanted to act alpha’ and said yes ifshe comes on to me it can happen.( while I actually just wanna be with her )

For her this was too much.She was ok being ‘mistress’ for now, but she likesme too much to deal with this.She cried and felt really hurt.

So now, she said she wants distance cuz she getshurt too much from not being able to spend the timewith me that she wants and the idea that Id fuck my wife.

I met her once after that, where we talked a bit about it.And she said she doesn’t feel like she wants to be sexual withme or even hug. Well.. 30minutes later we fucked and sheasked me for my sperm inside of her again…But after that, still distant!

Our match is so good and ticks so many boxes thattonight in bed, I decided that she is actually someoneI REALLY want to be with and that I am ready to stepout of the current marriage to pursue my relationshipwith her.

Then, this morning I got her text with:" I think you should stay with your family.We can be friends."

Well..Ive past several shittests and her saying she doenstlove me, hate me etc. which was always playful.

Or when she said she wants to minimize contact…Im silent and she starts contacting me.

Or saying how she is going to a new gym and theremight be some nice guy to take home and fuck haha.She was everytime so surprised that I didn’t act jealousthat she almost thought I wasn’t into her that much…Im holding frame most of the time.

Before id be raging, but now I know this is just totest me / hopefuly make me jealous.

Anyways… after all this shit… and stress between marriageand her… and finally making up my mind about reallywanting to be with her…this text… feels really bad.

And while it may be the next/biggest shit test…it hurt me a bit. Probably shouldn’t… but that’s whyI came back here.

I started talking to other girls to take my mind of this.But to each girl I talk… I notice more and more how muchI like my gf… the others just don’t compare.

And while she is pulling away, I feel like chasing her, nowI’ve decided I really want her in my life.OFcourse I know I shouldn’t chase like a beta … then again…she might also like some validation of the fact that I am seriousabout her after the comment about fucking my wife.

I am confused right now.Is her telling me to stay with wife/family and being friends hercry out to hear me say the other side?

Because after everything we did/had and I noticed… I knowshe sees me as the best future partner and even as a possiblefather for her kids. She actually said that.That I am the first guy she considers having kids with.

I cant imagine her, even after my comment about fucking my wife( which she says she doenst wanna forget/forgive), just wantingto be done.

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And while I want to feel secure in what I do…I am actually a bit confused and lost right nowand in need for some outside redpill comments.

BEcause I Want to stay in frame and come off as the confident
guy that is not needy.
At the same time, I dont want her to pull away and think I dont
care / get her back on board to spend time and have fun...

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