I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth....

JP_Whoregan · 2014-04-15T03:18:11+00:00

"20 Ways to be a Beta Orbiter", by some entitled feminist cunt.

tsudonimh · 2014-04-15T04:42:44+00:00

Don't expect us to diet

Don't expect us to be gym fiends

Bring us cookies when we had a crappy day at work.

Be a good cook. There's almost nothing hotter. Especially to a girl who can't cook.

So, a fat, lazy slob who can't cook. Sounds like every man's dream, right guys?

Guys?

Archwinger · 2014-04-15T11:17:06+00:00

This is like a manifesto for how to have a purely non sexual relationship, convince a girl to cheat on you, and make it easy on her.

"It's 4 am. Where have you been all night?"

"Girl's night. Why aren't the dishes done? Doing my share of the house work when I'm out with Benj... I mean Amanda shows me how much you care."

"I'll do them now. Hey, since we're both up..."

"Ew. No way. I had to wear a pair of jeans you folded instead of hung tonight. I'm too pissed off at you for that."

"I'm so sorry. I'll work harder. I love you..."

"... Me too?"

organyc · 2014-04-15T06:21:47+00:00

If we want abs, we'll get them. But not for you.

No you won't. You're too lazy and you lack both the willpower and the discipline.

Go eat your cookies, you fat mess.

ButtonJoe · 2014-04-15T03:32:09+00:00

"Fresh warm laundry is a turn-on."

This might be the most obviously manipulative thing I've ever heard someone actually say.

Cyralea · 2014-04-15T05:29:37+00:00

LOL.

Read books. Not just nutritional labels and Men's Health while you're on the treadmill.

Meanwhile, apparently The Real Housewives of New Jersey is quality art.

Rooibosisboss · 2014-04-15T03:15:07+00:00

Be cool with the fact that we make more money than you

We can go Dutch!

but also cool with the fact, if the guys makes more

You can pay!

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-04-15T09:44:42+00:00

Be cool with the fact that we make more money than you

But...I thought women only make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes?!?

CannonBallGuy · 2014-04-15T02:41:09+00:00

I love how it tries to lure you into with decent-sounding tips, then quickly turns into "steps to being a 40 year old virgin by some feminist psycho."

bradyo2 · 2014-04-15T10:08:43+00:00

True or true?

This woman has been through a 'bad breakup' in the past week.

Clue: (The answer rhymes with "true")

myschadenfreude · 2014-04-15T05:03:26+00:00

Hobbit = no (agreed on worldwide as a great piece of literature). Crap reality tv = love with an awkwardly worded sentence stating both parties acknowledge woman is smarter (or "transference" but who cares about psychology)

This person sounds unbelievably unbearable.

ttthrw · 2014-04-15T04:14:10+00:00

Yet another fantasy post written by a fat/ugly wannabe writer bitch who watched too much Sex and the City. If I see more than 3 items on a list about food/weight I'm going to assume you're big and beautiful in your own way (tm).

This whole post reeks of a land whale imagining a gym rat/manual labor boyfriend/husband with a shitty job. Sorry to burst your bubble but men who have their shit together in the gym also tend to be successful in life.

Make plans so we don't have to. It's not that hard to figure out a reason to get up and leave the house!

Only decent tip.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-04-15T10:56:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Aalewis__ · 2014-04-15T05:23:57+00:00

I honestly sometimes wonder if these aren't just written by some troll to get pageviews from subs like this.

kruddthemessiah · 2014-04-15T04:44:48+00:00

Anna is a blogger for Cosmo and also writes for Jezebel, among other places.

redpillta · 2014-04-15T07:13:05+00:00

What's sad is in my deep blue days I would have taken this list as some kind of secret, inside info coming straight from the girls themselves rather than the self-serving horseshit it is.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-04-15T09:44:29+00:00

Just say what you are feeling instead of being weird. Use your words like a big boy.

Oh, yeah, while we're on THAT topic, where do you want to FUCKING EAT TODAY? FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKING TELL ME

New_Horiz0ns · 2014-04-15T11:05:53+00:00

How to turn your bitch into a cow:

1.Don't send her to the gym
2.Don't encourage her to diet
3.Give her cookies

PryvateJiggles · 2014-04-15T11:45:43+00:00

I tell the women I work with that if they want to be in a relationship with another woman they should move away and live in a great big lesbian colony happily ever after. What an absolute load of shit this article is.

LinkenSphere · 2014-04-15T11:47:52+00:00

the idiot that wrote this article.

renzy77 · 2014-04-15T15:56:18+00:00

So women's dating advice to men is that:

Men essentially bring to the table the equivalent of a three-course meal from a five-start restaurant.

And women bring to the table....a knife and a fork and the attitude of a New York food critic.

boredinclass2 · 2014-04-15T08:09:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mussedeq · 2014-04-15T06:35:48+00:00

20 ways to please a basic bitch.

mordanus · 2014-04-15T06:41:38+00:00

She writes for jezebel so I don't know what we were expecting, but this is freakin awful. She sounds like a keeper for sure.

spitenl · 2014-04-15T11:39:16+00:00

Read books. Not just nutritional labels and Men's Health while you're on the treadmill.

If you can read while exercising you need to exercise harder

CannonBallGuy · 2014-04-15T10:07:43+00:00

My jaw literally hit, well the bottom limit of where my jaw can go.

musicvita25 · 2014-04-15T10:09:21+00:00

"20 Ways to Not get Laid"

2014-04-15T11:57:24+00:00

Hurry, someone post a competing article but for guys not girls. Say the exact same things.

2014-04-15T07:14:42+00:00

The cognitive dissonance to say that you're a workaholic and in the next breath to say you won't work to lose weight knowing that that's what men care about is just too much for me.

jacobman · 2014-04-15T07:43:56+00:00

Don't expect us to diet

lol. I made a comment related to the idea that men really like women to be somewhat low body fat and most women really want to be as lazy as they can get away with with regards to diet/exercise. It obviously didn't go over well. Here's the comment:

"One thing I think a lot of women have trouble understanding is how much of an effect weight/looks have on the average guy.

An example that I think helps bridge that gap is to imagine a guy without a job or prospects. This is what being an obese woman is like to many guys. Now imagine a minimum wage worker who isn't striving to move up. This is probably close to how OP comes off. So if you're a woman, remember this. Would you expect your guy to put the time in to get a job? Would you want them to do better than minimum wage? If so, perhaps you should consider making the sacrifice to get to an attractive weight as its effect on how attractive a girl is to a guy is comparable for many guys.

Yes, some of you are lucky enough to date someone who doesn't care about your weight much. That's an exception though."

Do you guys think that I'm mostly on target with my read of sexual attraction in men vs. sexual attraction in women? I sometimes start to doubt my intuition when so many people disagree with what I'm thinking. The majority is often right, so it's good to question yourself when you're the odd one out.

legauge · 2014-04-15T14:52:35+00:00

Being skinnier is not that high on our priority list.

Nice one.

sailorJery · 2014-04-15T15:31:36+00:00

I'd love to meet a woman who is smarter than me.

2014-04-16T04:20:22+00:00

Its like peering into the selfish mind of a todler

Zackcid · 2014-04-16T06:28:01+00:00

How does she honestly live with herself!?!? Is the hamster so damn powerful that she's completely blind to the fact that every guy she's fucked and been sexually attracted was the complete opposite of this list?

Goes to show how very little remorse or shame women have when it comes to deceiving betas. She's basically just trying to raise an army of providers for her upcoming Wall. The current ratio of 1 alpha for every 15 betas is perfectly suitable to her, she doesn't mind sharing after all.

GooseNewberg · 2014-04-16T22:39:06+00:00

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Everyone is now dumber for having read it. I award no points, and may God have mercy on that girl's soul.

2014-04-15T06:05:27+00:00

"Do the laundry Fresh warm laundry is a turn-on. "

Bitch, the only thing warm laundry does it make me sleepy, fuck 'outta here!

angryuser_trp · 2014-04-15T04:24:52+00:00

I think it's been every time so far when I've seen "X ways/signs/whatever to do/have/be Y", it was some feel-good bullshit or just nonsense that generally makes any person with functioning brain face-palm and lose even more of the little hope left for humanity...

2014-04-15T07:37:44+00:00

The Beta Handbook right there, these women are delusional.

2014-04-15T12:11:03+00:00

"Tease me all you want, but my addiction to Real Housewives of New Jersey doesn't mean I'm not still smarter than you. You know it, I know it." Ha, you go ahead and tell yourself that.

borrowed_timelord · 2014-04-15T13:50:34+00:00

Oh barf!

Linoran · 2014-04-15T14:41:59+00:00

Yeah, just take that list and do the exact opposite.

Feelingfappingweak · 2014-04-15T14:48:41+00:00

All its missing is : "If a girl has grown a dick then the man should invert his penis because we will not be women just because thats what a man wants"

2014-04-15T15:05:28+00:00

Tease me all you want, but my addiction to Real Housewives of New Jersey doesn't mean I'm not still smarter than you.

Well, it's not so much that it's the reason you're unintelligent, it's more of a side effect.

CropDuster33 · 2014-04-15T15:51:53+00:00

i couldn't finish reading...

Good2Go5280 · 2014-04-15T16:00:28+00:00

This was written by a 17 year old.

Lordrummxx1 · 2014-04-15T16:38:25+00:00

Read the first two and thought "eh, that's understandable maybe this article isn't that bad," and then "Ah, there it is..."

ReturnThroughAether · 2014-04-15T16:39:45+00:00

Make me food, do my chores, don't expect me to share any interests with you, but you'll put up with it because...

...?

cocainesmoothie · 2014-04-15T16:42:03+00:00

So yea... this is the when the author schlicked on the subway

2014-04-15T18:05:55+00:00

Wait...wait... what the fuck did I just read?

Macky_Hauser · 2014-04-15T18:51:15+00:00

This is why i have swallowed the Red Pill. Thank you all. Before i found this holy ground of a Sub-Reddit, i would actually consider this bullshit. But now, i am offended by this crap.

August12th · 2014-04-15T19:08:41+00:00

gender aside this is just a shitty way to live a life

2014-04-15T19:44:45+00:00

Found this about our author

She's a real expert on lots of stuff.

2014-04-15T20:11:33+00:00

Be a good cook. There's almost nothing hotter. Especially to a girl who can't cook.

So I need to make all the effort...every single bulletpoint is about this women expecting to be given things to her. Not once does she turn the tables.

HighAngleAlpha0331 · 2014-04-15T21:53:36+00:00

20 things that happen in fantasy land - greasy land mammal

2014-04-15T21:56:27+00:00

I've worked in a lot of different industries (medicine, publishing, IT, etc) and I can say with all honesty, a hard working woman is about as rare as an African Leprechaun.

Most women think of their jobs way down the list. It goes ME, Shit about me (hair appts, nails, mental health day), clothes, shoes, Pets (cat, no etc), family, friends and then maybe work.

animusbulldog · 2014-04-16T03:26:59+00:00

Like a flashback to my AOL/MSN Messenger days

Zackcid · 2014-04-16T06:24:00+00:00

Anybody else bothered by this whole "we", "our" language most women use when trying to give advice? For a gender that's so desperate to point out in every situation how unique and unicorn-like they are, I'm still surprised by how much the hive mentality is strong when it comes to giving advice to betas.

I'm not saying it's wrong though, just hypocritical. AWALT and I know most women realize this. But it's only AWALT when convenient to them. They love to preach NAWALT a lot because it strips them of a lot of their power and mystique. Sexually successful guys are those who've got women figured out and the worst thing that can happen is that a whole wave of beta boys begin deciphering this shit.

boscoist · 2014-04-15T04:47:12+00:00

Be a good cook. There's almost nothing hotter. Especially to a girl who can't cook.

The only good thing in there. Its not that difficult and it is extremely successful.

2014-04-15T05:21:10+00:00

The only thing i understood from that whole page is that this girl has been in too many relationships, and dumped for some random reason because dudes can't tell her that her femininity is annoying, and invasive. Now she owns too many cats as crutches, and writes a blog about how HE should have been better..

2014-04-15T06:46:27+00:00

For the love of God, don't expect us to like The Hobbit

Cosmicandy · 2014-04-15T07:38:04+00:00

This is garbage, but "Make plans so we don't have to" is suprisingly solid advice though, as long as "make plans" doesn't mean "take me to places and spend ridiculous amounts of time and money on me". Women like their men to take charge and lead.

DjBottleservice · 2014-04-15T05:29:36+00:00

On a side note guys.. Feel the hate, experience it, but don't let it own you. She is a simple chick who has no idea that the fairytale life she was promised doesn't exist. Notice her anger when she talks about watching bravo. That's her way of saying that she needs to be a person in this relationship too. She has dated macho dudes that control her every moment, and she's pissed because she let it happen. She's not feminist, she's used goods. She was over alpha'd. Let that be a lesson for you boys. Leave her better than you found her. Or don't because every ex con knows what a bitch man looks like. He either looks like a pedophile, or a cocky woman hater. Even ex cons have mommas..

2014-04-15T08:25:15+00:00

This is a manual for goofy guys, written by a goofy girl. Also OP only chicks use this mouth vomit phrase you did.

Title	I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth....
Author	Rastrick
Upvotes	136
Comments	180
Date	April 15, 2014 2:34 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/232737/i_think_i_just_threw_up_a_bit_in_my_mouth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-think-i-just-threw-up-a-bit-in-my-mouth.230340 https://theredarchive.com/post/230340

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