696,979 posts

Watch your shoes...big vomit post...

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June 11, 2019
17 upvotes

Let's get this out the way.....I'm prolly the biggest faggot on here...

Me - 41 yo, 203 lbs (Lost 30 in past month), army veteran, no friends/social circles,

Her - 41 yo, 190 lbs (I think), army veteran. Total Alpha. Totally unhappy. Says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does about me (cause of MRP, I now know why). Not stable (childhood dysfunctional), previously married.

Together 7 years to single mom (she had 3), married 5, we have one kid of our own. I've never been good with responsibilities (bills, hygiene...you name it), and I'd say that I've had an addiction to porn. While dating she found out about the porn. Told her I'd quit, but it would resurface again which would result in lies and more lies. Trust and resentment established due to the porn. Eventually married and have our own little girl. Wife has health issues...Adrenal Gland hemorrhage and autoimmune issues. One day her libido totally cuts off, and she stops saying "I love you" and being intimate. I start being a real bitch and do everything to please her. Was working at a known bank here in NorCal, but because she was making good money at her job she told me I should quit and look after the 4 year old. So without an absolute doubt, I have been in her Frame from the very start and even more so now that I'm not working. We do not communicate well at all. Arguments on the regular.

Changes as of late:
PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) - 2 months ago I realized that Porn has majorly fucked me up. Stumbled on Reddit on the whole NoFap Sub and I've been 2 months sober and feeling the positive effects of not jerking off like a bitch. Confidence has rocketed.

MRP/AskMRP - Was directed here by NoFap member and it truly opened my eyes of how much of a fucking faggot I am. So far I've read NMMNG and currently reading MMSLP. Wife knows I'm reading "Something". Been working on new nutritional plan, appearance and hygiene. Been going to the gym and lifting as much as possible (No serious Gains as of yet, but improving). She's insinuated that I've been cheating on her. Starting to see the payoff of improving MYSELF. Women are looking at me, staring me down. She's gained a lot of weight and very agitated that I'm invited and getting compliments and what not.

Sex - Wife came home from the New Kids concert the other night and gave me head, and then got on top. Let me just add this was after a 7 month drought.

Biggest Issues
Shutting the Fuck up!! I suck at it! I'm such a defensive baby. For example, I walked in the kitchen and grabbed her and pulled her close to me. Her response, "Why can't you just hug me?". Then my normal routine kicks in and I start defending myself, "Well you always grab my dick when you want". It's usually me describing how she can do something but I never can't. My voice goes up 2 octaves and I sound like a whining bitch. I am extremely Argumentative. I did pass my first shit test yesterday, and she even came up to me and apologized for acting crazy.

Also, Half of me knows that I have to do this for MYSELF, but the other half is still doing shit to please her or get attention/affection out of her. Sometimes I realize I'm sitting/standing around her HOPING she'll touch me, then I'll snap out of it and do something constructive.

She doesn't trust me with finances or anything adult, so hey, I get it....What Woman in her Right Mind would Want Me???!! She's consistently complaining about being stressed from her job...blames me for everything. I'm learning to do shit that needs to be done rather than have her to tell me to do it. My plan is to start looking for a job and work on working my debt (college) down.

Manning the Fuck Up - Do any of you fuckers know if there's any SPECIFIC tools for guys that have Peter Pan Syndrome? I'm sure I'm not the only dude on here with this issue. Like, I was babied while growing up and always had people do shit for me. I don't question basic issues regarding finances, bills, vehicles...they were never a priority for me....especially now that she's in control of everything. It's like I'm underdeveloped or stuck and the idea of me EVER being a man who has his shit together is just out of reach, however I do feel like I've just begun to start the journey of change since being on MRP. Just tired of being a deer in headlights when it comes to being a Man.

Anyways, have at it fellas!

ANY input will help.


Post Information
Title Watch your shoes...big vomit post...
Author Dumed4Lyf
Upvotes 17
Comments 46
Date 11 June 2019 06:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/241616
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bzga9d/watch_your_shoesbig_vomit_post/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
single motherDEERalphaframecheatingnofapshit testliftcloseNMMNG
Comments

[–]Cam_Winston2131 points32 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do any of you fuckers know if there's any SPECIFIC tools for guys that have Peter Pan Syndrome? I'm sure I'm not the only dude on here with this issue. Like, I was babied while growing up and always had people do shit for me.

So, you added that part as a wink-wink/nudge-nudge joke, right? I mean, you came here & said "hey, I'm used to getting everyone else to do stuff for me, so could you guys do my research on how to stop doing that, for me?....that's gotta be a joke, AmIright?

Congrats on the nofap, welcome to the real world.

[–]Dumed4Lyf10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Damn, fuck me...you’re right.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Simply choose to butch up and be a man. Period.

  • Stop wallowing in your sorrows.

  • Stop blaming mommy.

  • Stop whining about the past.

*** Most of all, stop being a fucking victim. ***

Your wife doesn't want that shit. Your kids don't want that shit. You don't even want that shit. No one on god's ever-loving earth wants that shit.

Own it and get the fuck over it.

[–]Dumed4Lyf4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Word! I used to be full of excuses and always played the blame game. I've gotten a lot better, but ultimately I'm still not owning my shit.

Thanks, Homie!

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Peter Pan Syndrome?

Do you mean a crush on Tinkerbell? Then yes.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

Coming in here and asking to be abused is just another form of validation seeking.

You have a lot of work to do. She also is in your weight class, so that's a whole other thing by itself.

Are you working towards some imagined archetype of a real man, or working towards self actualization? This is the biggest trap for baby men, because reaching goals set to become a cartoon character doesn't fix anything besides the shape of your body.

Figure out what is ACTUALLY missing from your life and work your way up Maslow's Hierarchy in order. Self actualization comes last.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you working towards some imagined archetype of a real man, or working towards self actualization? This is the biggest trap for baby men, because reaching goals set to become a cartoon character doesn't fix anything besides the shape of your body.

Thanks for that one. Wow, shit, thanks.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Coming in here and asking to be abused is just another form of validation seeking.

Amen.

[–]Dumed4Lyf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, good point! Thanx!

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Faggot

Sound like that fat fuck first night in prison crying for mommy who gets his ass kicked at the beginning of shawshank redemption.

[–]FoxShitNasty832 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"what's your malfunction you fat barrel of monkey spunk"

[–]Dumed4Lyf0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’d be raped the first night!

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're not hot enough

[–]helaughsinhidden10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Do any of you fuckers know if there's any SPECIFIC tools for guys that have Peter Pan Syndrome?

I love the irony! Marcus Aurelius Meditations and Jordan Peterson 12 Rules for Life comes to mind first. Sorry, I won't actually read them to you though.

[–]WhiteNight2009 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

+1 on 12 Rules For Life

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd go with Gorilla Mindset first. It's sidebar and a quick read.

[–]redwall9210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

My voice goes up 2 octaves and I sound like a whining bitch.

A while back my oldest son told me I sounded like another of my boys who was 8 at the time. I call my 8 year old out for that whiny voice a lot; something we worked on for a while that still sneaks back in. Damn ... talk about an neon flashing ego I can deny like the best of them.

Kids are fun. Like a mirror they are. Best ego killing devices I know of.

Take the next step man. Then take a few more. Keep on plugging.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

There are no jack-of-all trade tools to fix you...

Starve your distraction, Feed your focus

What are you doing with all your free time? I hope your not watching TV. Fill that time learning how to do stuff that you apparently avoided all your life. Read 'Mindful Attraction Plan' - It might help you prioritize your biggest weaknesses.

[–]Dumed4Lyf1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I used to. As I stated, I spent a lot of time watching porn and my internet usage overall was sky high. Lately I have spent a lot of my free time working on me (gym, NoFap, MRP). But, I’m still not acting enough on working on my problems. Too much reading/research.

[–]Turbotec5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get the fuck off the couch and get a job. You need to get out of debt. You need to have a backup plan. Why does she even want stay with you? So be prepared if she ever opens her eyes! There is a start that takes no major research! Even if it’s flipping burgers. You are spending a lot of time researching while sitting on your ass. Get up and go do something! The rest is contagious.

[–]Dumed4Lyf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I agree. She just got done yelling at me for something insensitive I said.

I'm sure her eyes were wide the fuck open a long time ago.

All I can do is work on me at this point.

Thanks!

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Read the rationale male before the other books. It's the most important one.

[–]tap09885341 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm no red beret, but TRM was more insightful to me than useful. It helped me understand what was going on, but not what to do. Plate theory lacks utility for someone unattractive with their balls in a vice.

As a noob that just read these I would #1 recommend WISNIFG as an essential primer on how to do assertiveness, and manage shit tests with no frame.

Next I would do NNMNG and MMSLP.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm no red beret, but TRM was more insightful to me than useful.

It explains frame, hypergamy, oneitis, all the fundamentals. Yes the part on plate theory isnt really helpful for married men but that book is definitely the most important one.

It helped me understand what was going on, but not what to do.

And that's exactly how rolo intended it to be. It's a toolkit and you can use it as you will.

Plate theory lacks utility for someone unattractive with their balls in a vice.

Yes but the rational Male hammers in what's actually attractive.

As a noob that just read these I would #1 recommend WISNIFG as an essential primer on how to do assertiveness, and manage shit tests with no frame.

Next I would do NNMNG and MMSLP.

Yes all thoes aswell. In my opinion, the rational male is first.

Ymmv.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are fucking insane.

TRM is about an immature “man boy” reading a book so powerful it is like getting fucked in the ass with a big black dildo while you are bound, gagged and flogged by a 180# woman named Ruby.

If that is how you wanna start out this adventure, then be my guest.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are fucking insane.

Yes.

I love your intensity.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I try to listen to 2PAC and Lil’ Kim when I compose my reply’s.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Seems more faggot posts than usual the past few days on here...

Lost 30 in past month

This is hard to beleive... Certainly can't be all fat... 30 lbs of fat would mean you decreased your caloric intake by 3500 a day. Your TDEE assuming 6'0" is ~2400 a day... so unless you were previously eating nearly 6000 calories, this doesn't add up.

One day her libido totally cuts off, and she stops saying "I love you" and being intimate.

Wife came home from the New Kids concert the other night and gave me head, and then got on top. Let me just add this was after a 7 month drought.

Hmm... this is concerning to me. She may have found Chad at New Kids, fucked and then came home and fucked you to make herself feel less guilty.

She's insinuated that I've been cheating on her

Projection?

PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm)

I feel gayer knowing what this acronym now means

now that I'm not working

Get a job... now.

Wife knows I'm reading "Something".

Don't talk about fight club

blames me for everything.

Guess what? Everything IS your fault.

Do any of you fuckers know if there's any SPECIFIC tools for guys that have Peter Pan Syndrome?

It's called owning your shit. What do you need to learn? Make a plan, learn it. There's no syndrome here, there's just a failure to own your shit. Excuses piled upon excuses.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

At 190lbs she didn’t find Chad at the concert. She still may have fucked someone no doubt, but it would have to be a Cletus or something.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She may have found Chad at New Kids, fucked and then came home and fucked you to make herself feel less guilty.

Hysterical bonding is a real thing. Normally comes after being found out, so maybe the guilt is a real thing separate from hysterical bonding.

Money says you're right on Chad, though.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

One day her libido totally cuts off, and she stops saying "I love you" and being intimate.Wife came home from the New Kids concert the other night and gave me head, and then got on top. Let me just add this was after a 7 month drought.

Hmm... this is concerning to me. She may have found Chad at New Kids, fucked and then came home and fucked you to make herself feel less guilty.

Without a shadow of a doubt....Chad is 100% balls deep in all of his wife's holes.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That 190lbs really fucked up my lower back (sorry couldn't resist)

[–]Dumed4Lyf4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re obviously not lifting enough.

[–]0io-Tsundere2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you're on a good path. Getting back in shape and losing fat is a huge part of the battle. Next you need to get some routines and discipline in place and your own source of money. STFU works wonders. 90% of the time it's the best answer to "wife said or did something bitchy".

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

There’s no such thing as an Alpha female. There is such a thing as an aggressive female, BUT if she says she’s alpha it’s because she feels men in her life are failures therefore she needs to take charge. Ergo she is now the alpha.

odds are she’s right about that. Women can perform the man’s role in a relationship. It is not ideal for them and it manifests in anger, resentment, very harsh AWALT behaviors. YET they can replace you. Your First Officer is ready, willing, and able to do the job and she won’t hesitate to fire your ass.

Put that same woman with a true RP/Alpha male and that behavior stops. It may take some time and that Alpha will enjoy some great times, he will even enjoy the brat that comes out of it.

Peter Pan syndrome. You mean Fuckarounditis. My medical texts define this modern male syndrome as:

“...a behavioral disorder characterized by a mediocre physique and complete lack of progress, despite significant amounts of time spent in the gym.

Fuckarounditis most commonly manifests itself as an intense preoccupation with video games, snack foods, couch surfing. It also consists of an irrational fear of squats and deadlifts as a distinguishing trait. As well as avoiding responsibility, lack of follow through, and the inability to let shit go and indulge in emotional purging.

Physical exertion from these males, outside of work, is either completely lacking or misapplied (towards questionable or unproductive training practices). It has been estimated that 90-100% of males are afflicted to varying degrees.

[–]Dumed4Lyf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, dude...that was freakin’ spot the fuck on! It really is good to have other men to call you out on your own BS.

[–]diceblue2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was redirected here from nofap after 20 days wank free. Like OP I just got red pilled at how much of my conversation with my wife involves whining about my past, my present, the state of my shitty life, I am very negative and a whiny bitch. Why would I ever expect THAT to be attractive?? Gonna start changing right away.

To OP, I'd reccomend looking into Jordan Peterson, he's got some great advice on getting shit together. Even talks about Peter Pan syndrome. Also, try daily cold showers and the Wim Hof Method as a means to toughen up a bit.

[–]Dumed4Lyf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, dude. I think I listened to that JP regarding the PP syndrome. I need to check it again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s a specific: Google shit and read. Don’t know how a car works? Google it. Don’t know how to make your money work for you? Google it. Use YouTube too. You just need the initiative to give a fuck and do things you currently suck at. But at least you started the journey, you’ll get better. Enjoy the process.

[–]Grimsterr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a job. It's possible to not work and be supported by a woman and still maintain a proper level of attraction. But not for you.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Whats it like having 190# of woman on top of you?

Does she get on her feet and bounce up and down or is it missionary?

Whats it like to grab that big flabby ass and feel the fat move around while you try and trust your 4” dick past all that inner thigh fat, pass what are likely some pretty thick meat flaps (cause fat goes everywhere) into her vagina?

The only benefit to all this I can see are probably some really big old tittes hanging down into your face?

You motorboat those things?

You a motorboating bitch or what?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually, your ability to paint a graphic picture with words is appreciated, but this time, I may be nauseous for a week.

[–]Dumed4Lyf4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely. Who doesn’t love breastessessssssth??

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You old sailor you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you're here asking to be motivated, when instead you should be cultivating your own discipline.

At its core, chasing motivation is insistence on the infantile fantasy that we should only be doing things we feel like doing. The problem is then framed thus: “How do I get myself to feel like doing what I have rationally decided to do?”. Bad.

The proper question is “How do I make my feelings inconsequential and do the things I consciously want to do without being a little bitch about it?”.

The point is to cut the link between feelings and actions, and do it anyway. You get to feel good and buzzed and energetic and eager afterwards.

Motivation has this the wrong way around. I am utterly 100% convinced that this faulty frame is the main driver of the “sitting about in underwear playing Xbox, and with yourself” epidemic currently sweeping developed countries.

Source: http://www.wisdomination.com/screw-motivation-what-you-need-is-discipline/

Now that you've got that in order, find the MRP sidebar and start at the beginning.

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Here is something that should piss you off. Women do not go long periods without orgasms. She is choosing to fuck someone else or just get herself off as opposed to have actual sex with you. This goes for anyone going thru a drought. Unless this is stupid thinking, I'm new here. But I've never had a drought.



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