659,329 posts

Be First. Especially You Asshole.

by johneyapocalypse | June 16, 2019 | askMRP

77 upvotes

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ComteDeBetamax, I posted this in response to your little follow-up comment in your horror show of hell post.

This post is for everyone here, especially those who come next.


Life is tough dudes.

Your ability to deal with life - even more so a tough life - defines you as a man.

Some of you may know, but others may not…

  • I managed incurable cancer for a decade.
  • The last two years of it were incurable, unbeatable, and really fucking hard.
  • I had surgery after surgery, chemo after chemo, and even a psychotic break after so many goddamned steroids.
  • Then, unexpectedly, when all seemed beaten, I suffered from PTSD and anhedonia.
  • I never mentioned it before, but nearly everyone in my family died this last couple years, too.
  • And now, both my parents are deteriorating fast: one unexpectedly dying and likely to die tonight and one just really deteriorating fast.

They're not even old.

(Clearly our genes suck.)

There will only be one left after all this.

So what? Really. As uncomfortable as it may seem, so what?

Que cera cera.

It's life, dudes. No one said "welcome to life, easy and fun life, enjoy the pleasurable ride."

I mean fuck, half the planet's inhabitants over time died young, died early, died gruesomely.

Why, then, when that is our objective reality, have you gotten so attached to that other one?

You know the one I'm talking about. That self-imposed singularity.

Your singularity.

The truth is this: that she is even considered a singularity is itself an irregularity.

If your very life is not assured then why should the presence of this particular woman be so assured? And why is it so important to you? And why is your very manhood at stake over the potential loss of this one?

It makes no fucking sense, either logically or emotionally.

Why can't there just be a different one? Or maybe none at all and just you?

Why?

What space within you so desperately needs to be filled by her?

Let me guess, like that dumbass scene in that dumbass movie, "she completes you."

Fuck that, faggot… you complete you.

Why - like the horse cock dude - are so many of you so goddamned obsessed with the woman in your life?

This dude is castrating himself to the world, to his wife, to himself. Worst of all, for sure, to himself.

It's awful. It's unnerving.

Should I have folded like the horse cock homo? The same dude who, as made clear by his update, is disgustingly abdicating to his bitch wife?

Don't you understand that it makes no fucking sense?

You should be obsessed with you. Not unnaturally. Not unhealthily. Not according to the (gay phrase) blue pill version of "self" and not according to the the (equally gay phrase) red pill version of "self" - but instead - in a genuine way that places your needs first, your desires first, your goals, your aspirations, your mission, your vision, your plan, your execution… first.

Do you understand that being "first" and focusing on me "first" is what has gotten me through hell? A hell that has dragged on a long-ass time? A hell that you all experience, for different reasons, here usually related to your own singularity, a woman, but a hell that can be overcome?

First.

First, fucker, first.

Focus on that and nothing more.

You need to be first.

There's nothing wrong with being first. It's good for you, even if you don't know it yet.

Be first.


Post Information
Title Be First. Especially You Asshole.
Author johneyapocalypse
Upvotes 77
Comments 32
Date 16 June 2019 11:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/242262
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c1gihd/be_first_especially_you_asshole/
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Comments

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

A lot of men who first come here are so scared their woman is cheating on them that they can’t even write it. They Mastrubate around it. They imply it. They almost write it. But they want others to say it. It’s their worst fear that their woman is cheating and they will never know for sure.

Good post because it reminds us to quit obsessing like that and live your life for you. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn’t. It shouldn’t effect you creating an awesome life.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I used to have this nagging fear anytime I left the house that I’d come back and she would be gone, tired of my sorry ass, or running away with Chad. That’s no way to live. I’m on a business trip this week and after reading this I realize there is no fear anymore and hadn’t been for awhile. Do you know how much mental capacity is freed up without constant fear? It’s fucking amazing.

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here. The day I let this go was the day I made serious progress. You can't control anyone else and I don't want to. I can only adjust myself according to their behavior to stay on my own path towards my goals.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's the only way to live. People call me an asshole but it's a small price to pay when you are first.

MRP saved my life and reminded me who I am because I had forgotten. The world beat me down and told me to go last and I listened. Now I listen to my voice and it's strong and loud. Everyone else seems to be a whisper in comparison.

Thank you for sharing all of this, it's a good reminder for a Monday morning as I lay in bed not wanting to get up because I drank a bunch of tequila with my father in law last night.

[–]Goobergus_Gubbins0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Off-topic; I'm jealous of you and FIL. I went no-contact with mine years ago, don't even open his nasty little handwritten rants about my poor performance when they arrive anymore. If he were a tequila drinker, we probably could have found some common ground.

[–]cpotpie10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“People call me an asshole but it's a small price to pay when you are first.”

They’ll call you an asshole....then follow your lead. Smh. Fucking idiots.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Put the fucking oxygen mask on first then reach over and help the child or passenger next to you.

In a supplicating atmosphere, losing perspective of oneself and the value to which you bring to the table is easily done.

It takes a real slap in the face to take stock, identify your failures and make corrections to benefit you. But, what in the fuck are you living for, if you aren’t true to you ?

[–]becoming_alpha1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This hypoxia video is great:

Control room: Alright sir, if you don't get on oxygen you're going to die

Guy: I don't want to die

Control room: Put on your oxygen mask

Guy: (smiles blankly at the wall)

Don't be that guy. MRP is the control room telling you to put on your mask. Nobody else can do it for you. You have to be the one to take control of your life.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The same attitude That you need to reply “I know” to her “I love you”

Is the same attitude you will need when she wants you to use her for your purposes.

Believe me. Once you get there you will know it.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck, redd, it's good to see you.

No one uses me, dude, except me.

Such is the benefit of meandering through hell and getting through unscathed.

How are you doing?

(Feel free to dm me, genuinely interested, it's been a while.)

[–]animalapemachine5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

your truth is always a punch in the mouth.

keep breathing mofo...

if it doesn't suck, we dont do it....

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"If it doesn't suck, we don't do it." This is marvellous! Did you create it?

I can definitely use it!

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Edit...

I need to edit something.

In case anyone is thinking I'm whining about this, I'm not.

I used this hell to push me to greater heights. Sure I could have folded and died - and sure, I recognize that I likely had only so much to say in the matter - but still....

While my genes may have been bad, while my luck may have been bad, while my fucking reality has been (challenging) bad, my reality, now, is anything but bad:

  • I am a beast, like serious beast.
  • I'm 6-2 so life can't be all bad, lol.
  • I also look good - before all this shit really good - during no - after, yah, hell yah.
  • At 214 - 217 I'm built and getting more built, like a fucking mech.

Learn from this fuckers.

What you are bumming about could be so, so much worse.

Take advantage of what you have.

Get it, grab it, go for it.

Shit.

[–]RPeed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 6-2

Way to bury the lead.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

our genes suck

but one hell of a strong "heart" ...

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Who is horse cock dude?

[–]FoxShitNasty838 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just checked... It's not me (sad face)

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guy he linked.

Tldr surgeon whose wife has less than zero respect for him, who is considering or doing in no particular order chopping his income in half to move closer to her, paying for her condo no one uses, bought her a show horse (they are fucking expensive), spends 3500/mo on her horse habit, has no frame.

She lied to his face and then spent like 700 on a credit card she REMOVED him from so he couldn't stop her.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

There's a conversation a person needs to be able to have with himself in order to put the self first. This is something I learned around 35 years old. Wish I would have learned how to have this conversation with myself sooner. Glad it's happened now instead of later.

I'm also trying to learn how to have this conversation with my children. How can I teach them that lying to themselves is more detrimental to their life than if they lie to me? I'm trying to learn how to tell them that the story they tell themselves is more important than the story I hear. Problem is ... the story they tell themselves is typically more wrapped up with (what they think) what others think about them.

It's convoluted man. The effort that we put into this end-around, indirect, overly complicated view of how we get what we want out of life.

You do you. Still my favorite saying around here.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

What pray tell do you believe I'm lying about?

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well ... that didn't communicate well.

I'm not making any accusation.

I'm talking about the focus. Focusing on the story I tell myself is the most important thing. Problem in today's NICE GUY world is we put much more stock in what others think about us that we craft our lives and the stories of our lives so that it's pretty to others instead of just going for what we want out of life.

Also talking about some current parenting struggles at our house where a kid gets caught lying ... and I'm not quite sure sometimes if they are lying to themselves as well as to everybody else.

Keep pressing on man.

[–]into_being0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn.

Poignant post. Way to put things in perspective.

So many people inadvertently try to control shit they can’t. Like their “one”, as you put it, or the past, or other peoples perspectives, etc. While completely disregarding and surrendering so much power over what they can control. This always causes suffering.

Your post demonstrates what it looks like to control what you can. Internal locus, frame, however you want to define it.

Thanks for this. It should get stickied.

Take care

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

“you complete you“

All a man needs right here.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

+ high speed internet and some privacy

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Huh?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

its a little MGTOW, when pulled out of context how MCT has

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol.

[–]Rogue684860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I needed this. All the negative events. Just life.

The woman is just a woman, not miss goldenpussy

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Reese Bobby had it right all along.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The process of putting yourself first requires some time and effort. You can't expect guys to change a lifetime of conditioning overnight.

It starts with being conscious of putting yourself first. Then you begin filtering more and more through the "WHAT DO I WANT" lens instead of the "HOW CAN I CHANGE HER BEHAVIOR" lens. Start doing it 5% of the time. Then 10, then 20. Don't suddenly change overnight. Set the goal and gradually go towards it.

The prescription of MRP is the 1,000 foot tow rope and it is the same as developing your frame. Roll the rope out slowly over days and weeks. Don't suddenly hit the gas the pull the rope taught and drag her through the water.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed 100%.

I'm likely the biggest proponent of your 12-step program in this whole joint. :-)

With that said, the simple awareness that putting oneself first is good, not bad, is itself empowering.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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