Q4All: Would you rather have a partner who is unfaithful, but extremely discreet and in every way the public picture of loyalty; or a partner who you knew was totally faithful, but acted publicly in a way that others suspected they were unfaithful?

I realize most people would choose neither, or either a partner who is both faithful and acts faithful, or to stay single.

Suppose that you had to choose one. Say your partner was not faithful, and you knew but they didn’t tell the truth, but they appear as the perfect spouse in public and to the world show themselves as devoted to you, and in every other way are supportive and kind.

Or, you had a God’s eye view and could know for a fact your partner was never unfaithful, but they were a bit of a flirt (people who think flirting is cheating can skip this question) and engaged in scenarios that looked back to outsiders, so they might think you were being played, even though you knew for a fact they were faithful.

Would like to hear from men and women, all pills. Many men are worried about being cucked, and I wonder if for some people it’s an image thing, more than the actual cheating. Others I am sure it’s different, and for different women.

So is reputation and image more important, or actual action disregarding appearances?