Q4ALL: Are healthy/unhealthy lifestyles even compatible?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-10-20T22:59:36+00:00

everyone needs to stop thinking so much

wtknight · 2018-10-20T22:36:07+00:00

Successful couples usually adapt to each other's lifestyles in various ways, I've noticed. If neither person is adaptable for some reason, then, yeah, they're probably not compatible.

sublimemongrel · 2018-10-20T23:07:26+00:00

I don’t get it. Just don’t date that person if you’re not attracted to them. Who is trying to make this happen?

shoup88 · 2018-10-20T22:58:36+00:00

I think it depends on how much time they spend together and how much they value common interests. I know some couples who hardly do anything together, but they enjoy the time they do spend together and they share similar long term goals.

As long as both parties are attracted to each other, I don’t think it’s necessarily a deal breaker. Just depends on the individuals involved.

Willow-girl · 2018-10-20T23:07:32+00:00

Personally I probably wouldn't pick a partner who wasn't up to an active outdoor lifestyle and didn't enjoy (or at least accept the necessity of doing) the stuff I do on a regular basis. I tried that before, and there just aren't enough hours in the day to do what I need to do and also spend time with a sedentary indoor person.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-10-20T22:57:56+00:00

/u/Mr_White119811 has got to be /u/mr_smoogs.

SkookumTree · 2018-10-20T23:45:03+00:00

24 mile hike is legit. Many cyclists figure a mile on foot is equal to three or four on a bike. You done a century yet?

Ladyofblades · 2018-10-21T09:51:10+00:00

Personally believe it won’t work out unless unhealthy spouse overhauls their lifestyle - and not just in a phase but permanently. Just speaking from experience.

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SmurfESmurferson · 2018-10-21T03:03:23+00:00

After a certain age, maintaining body mass is an actual effort (and involves math, in the form of macros)

I don't know how else to say this, so I'll just blurt it out - after the age of 23, no one is consuming shit without consequences. You do, however, get to pick your consequence - I very much prefer to run endurance races, and eat whatever. My friends prefer diets and calorie counting

To each, their own

Kittennoodle · 2018-10-21T08:01:20+00:00

Im sure you could convince her to join you in your lifestyle or you would find her in all the arenas that you visit, like the gym. How would you meet someone that's not compatible with your choice of life?

Gravel_Roads · 2018-10-21T09:31:21+00:00

I don't understand the problem here. No, you are not required to match your lifestyle to your partner's. If you WANT a partner that will exercise with you, that's different, and not a weird thing to want, but it's one of those decisions no one can make for you.

There's also a pretty wide spectrum between people that take 24 mile hikes and lazy slobs. Most people fit somewhere in between.

ie: My bf will go to the gym with me once every few months, but he has asthma and a lot of allergies, so exercise takes a lot out of him. But he eats well and takes care of himself, so he's still healthy even though he doesn't exercise. Meanwhile, I'm an endorphin junkie, and do long hikes, go rock climbing, have completed a Tough Mudder ect. He'd die if I expected him to keep up with me, athletically lol. But I also don't ask him to. He's an adult, he can make his own decisions on what he does with his body, and so can I.

You'll find once you get into a relationship or two that the healthiest dynamics are ones that allow you both to have some things you keep to yourself. Exercise is often one of those things. It's often very personal to the individual anyway.

[deleted] · 2018-10-21T13:59:14+00:00

I had a long, pleasant relationship with a guy who had absolutely no interest in my weekend activities. I'm an outdoorsy person, I love to get together with my friends and climb or hike - my boyfriend had one go at the local crag and politely never accepted another invitation to come out with us.

If you really like each other, it's not a greater problem than, say, liking different restaurants or having different work schedules. You can work around it if you want, but only if you really want to and there's something to the relationship other than convenience. Some of it will involve compromise, and compromising on health can be really stressful to a relationship or a really positive thing for self-improvement, depending on whose habits end up taking precedence. Love is hard to predict logically.

[deleted] · 2018-10-21T14:32:37+00:00

i don't believe so, honestly. ignoring the facet of attraction, i think everyone's goal should be to reach for their best self, while also maintaining some sense of groundedness in the process.

body neutrality should be the norm instead of body posi: as long as your body works and doesn't impose any serious limitations/health risks on yourself that you yourself can't fix through excercise or medical treatment, you should strive to accept it.

on the topic of relationships though, if there's a dissociation between the two people's ideal for their partner, with no room for negotiation, i don't think the relationship should exist.

RadChadswell · 2018-10-21T17:13:27+00:00

Im not currently in the great shape (within BMI, but no definition) due to spending the last year doing a full years university study whilst working full time.

Excuses. You're out of shape because you didn't care about it. I was in great shape while working through college. Make the 30 min a day to hit the gym. It takes less time than you think. I actually worked out the most when I had the most other things on my plate. People complain about lack of time, but it's just lack of discipline. The time is there. You have to choose your priorities and use your time wisely.

But I will be back in the gym soon

Has time to post on reddit. Doesn't have time to do a few sets of lifts. Go work out today already, or you'll BE the Ben & Jerries Netflix girl soon enough.

How would that work in their eyes. Would I just become a slob? Or would they suddenly become healthy?

Who has stronger frame? Who's wearing the pants in the relationship?

I've dated lazy girls. They just got less of my time. She can come to the gym with me or not, she can run 5 miles with me or not, she can do yoga while I play basketball or just sit on her ass, but I'm doing those things either way. She can eat McDonalds for dinner if she really wants but I won't be eating with her. I'll eat my chicken breast and kale salad at home, then meet up with her later. Don't let her change who you are.

Either you get comfortable living separate lives, or she adapts your healthy habits, or you move on and find someone new.

[deleted] · 2018-10-21T19:13:51+00:00

Certainly, contrary lifestyles aren't really compatible. But I think it's equally a disaster when someone who's a health nut demands that the other conforms completely to their lifestyle just to make them feel better. 24 mile hikes and 30-40 mile bike rides seem ridiculous to people who aren't willing to make that a goal worth going for. I love hiking - it's been a part of my life since I was 6 years old - but GOD DAMN. Tone it down a bit or I'm bouncing without much regret in that decision.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-10-25T22:26:51+00:00

Depends on how far apart they are. Like my fiance is more active than I am, but I am to eat healthy foods more so than he does, but we both are sort of kind of healthy wanting and trying to be. Anyway. It's hard sometimes. But I definitely want to be working out more.

Title	Q4ALL: Are healthy/unhealthy lifestyles even compatible?
Author	Mr_White119811
Upvotes	15
Comments	30
Date	October 20, 2018 10:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9pyfnb/q4all_are_healthyunhealthy_lifestyles_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-are-healthyunhealthy-lifestyles-even.259361 https://theredarchive.com/post/259361

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