[Q4W] Difference between a man that "gets what he wants" and one that's just pushy/aggressive?

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-09-25T01:06:36+00:00

For me it’s more appreciating it when men (or women honestly) go after what they want. No ones gets what they want every time. What’s admirable to me is a guy who despite going for what he wants, accepts rejection/failure gracefully and knows when to quit without making a scene. Pushy/aggressive guys make a scene, and it’s embarrassing. Like yeah, you got your expired $3 coupon accepted at the grocery store, but only after yelling at the employees, attracting everyone’s attention and now I’m too ashamed to go back there for at least a few months. Cringey.

kandyapplez · 2018-09-25T03:42:02+00:00

is he cute

no really none of that sounds appealing, guys who get what they want that have to be extra to get it and all that posturing sounds extra

i don't want any guy pushing me into walls or whatever to "feel the heat" like wtf? im gonna call my dad on you

meomeowmeoww · 2018-09-25T01:11:26+00:00

How ugly he is

321PK · 2018-09-25T00:54:11+00:00

Do you mean “takes what he wants?” I’m confused. Like you can’t tell from body language or breathing or sounds or words if some girl likes what you’re doing to her?

Bekiala · 2018-09-25T02:00:30+00:00

"What if he grabs you by the shoulders or pins you against the wall to make you "feel the heat"? I might want to convey to a girl that I'v got the balls "

This kind of thing is probably better done with someone you know super well. Also probably how you live your life is the best way to show how strong you are. I might have a different definition of strength. I think of weak people as folks who get road rage, are rude to people in customer service, don't finish school . . . that sort of thing. Although maybe these kind of folks are just folks with emotional/mental hiccups of which I have a few myself - sigh.

Another thought, a woman who grew up with an abusive father might like this kind of thing as it feeds into her dysfunctional upbringing aka oedipus complex. Or maybe someone who is in to being submissive in a Sub/dom relationship would like that kind of thing.

Anyhow better get to know the lady first.

Workshop_Gremlin · 2018-09-25T02:14:28+00:00

It boils down to confidence. It's about actually being willing to take a chance and ask someone out and not acting defeated before you even ask her out or if the scenario of asking her out ends up running slightly bit different than how it went on in your head.

Confidence also boils down to having enough confidence in yourself that you don't need to resort to aggressive, threatening behavior like grabbing her by the shoulders or pinning her against the wall in the hopes that it'll push her to agree to go out with you. Aggressive behavior like that conveys the same lack of confidence as acting nervous and fawning at her.

Just treat and talk, joke and flirt with her as an equal. As for what jokes and topics to talk about are appropriate and picking up cues if she's open to talk to her YMMV depending on the time and place but general rule of thumb is if she looks busy or generally acting like she doesn't want to talk to anyone then just let her be.

ATastefulNude · 2018-09-25T04:41:33+00:00

Truly strong men don't struggle to get people to bend to their will. They are simply competent and measured enough that people naturally follow their lead.

flamingoinghome · 2018-09-25T06:46:54+00:00

Eh, I find aggression kind of scary and gross. What's attractive is effort. As in, does this guy sit around bitching about how much he hates his job, or is he out there sending out resumes and stuff? Does he go "ew, I'm so out of shape," or does he take up exercise?

(honestly, decisiveness in nonsexual situations is much more appealing than in sexual ones)

If a guy started pulling me around by the shoulders without having previously talked about being into that, I would be upset and freaked out.

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radnikki · 2018-09-25T06:32:41+00:00

Well let’s start off with the fact that all women are different and might not all want what you think they do.

And second, if you’re talking about a man “getting what he wants” like sexually then I personally am not into it at all. That should be a mutual experience and a guy damn sure better ask or test the waters with me before pinning me against a wall.

If your fear is scaring her or seeming too aggressive then the answer is simple. Don’t do it without warning. Ask first. Have a conversation with her to find out what she actually wants, not what you think she may want.

esiemualB · 2018-09-25T03:21:53+00:00

I think a better phrasing would be "gets shit done" instead of "gets what he wants". Someone who gets shit done is someone who (1) sees what needs to be done, (2) comes up with a plan for doing it, and (3) implements his plan. Pinning people against walls is not a tactic usually found in anyone's plan. As an example, imagine someone wants to spend more quality time with their partner. A "get shit done" type of person would check with their partner to ask when they are free, and then plan a couple of activities for these times. A pushy/aggressive person would tell their partner that they want to spend more qualitiy time together, plan nothing, and start a heated discussion about quality time the next time their partner wants to meet their friends.

mwait · 2018-09-25T16:43:12+00:00

It absolutely depends how attractive he is.

Attractive men get smacked on the arm and told "you're so bad omg!" ... Ugly dudes get security called on them, harassment complaints, or looks of disgust.

The women is this thread saying "It depends how cute he is lol... No but really blah blah blah" are telling the truth in the first sentence, they just don't want to come off so shallow and cliche.

How attractive and charismatic a man is is absolutely critical to how far he can push things with women. A hot guy "taking what he wants" is sexy and most women's fantasy. An ugly guy trying to do that is their nightmare.

ladel-grill · 2018-09-25T17:19:24+00:00

Eh, I prefer a man to have an adult conversation with me about likes and dislikes before he starts pinning me to walls.

LifterofThings · 2018-09-25T22:11:43+00:00

There's no clean line. You have to start the interaction and read her cues. Being physically attractive helps too, but it's not a guarantee either. Sry dude.

[deleted] · 2018-09-26T13:48:33+00:00

Depends on how cute he is. One is actually desired by who he wants. Being an ugly little sexual pest is always gross and creepy.

DXBrigade · 2018-09-26T17:39:00+00:00

A guy who makes move but can take "no" for an answer.

Title	[Q4W] Difference between a man that "gets what he wants" and one that's just pushy/aggressive?
Author	SdegnoSchifo
Upvotes	9
Comments	29
Date	September 25, 2018 12:37 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9ini4k/q4w_difference_between_a_man_that_gets_what_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-difference-between-a-man-that-gets-what-he.260709 https://theredarchive.com/post/260709

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