Can an Alpha get tired of spinning plates and want a LTR or was he always a beta?

sivarias · 2018-02-08T13:21:25+00:00

That was the entire thrust of Models by Mark Manson. He broke down how to get laid all the time, and ended with how empty and meaningless not having a long term partner really is after a while.

You can offset that with male friends, but it's not the same as coming home to a life partner and just dropping onto the couch with them.

The fact of the matter is, is men gave a wall too. It's sure as shit not 23 (I'd say 40ish depending on how well he ages). But frankly, for a natural alpha who's in the top 20% in attractiveness and started in high school? Easily 100 girls or more per year if he went out looking to get laid every night. I'd be sick of watching girls throw themselves at me too.

If you check Red Pill, there's an informal "depression" phase, where empathy runs up against reality. You realize you've been manipulating women who are just looking for love in all the wrong places, and both of you know she's just another pump and dump.

Usually guys who hit that point stop posting, and usually those posts get downvoted to hell because everyone else doesn't want to admit the natural end stage of casual sex is hating it and wanting to settle down.

Frankly, it's good that he's displaying "beta" traits if your considering him for an LTR. You CAN'T be in an LTR without being purple. You need sexual attraction and RP helps with that. You need to be a secure provider, and BP helps with that.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-02-08T12:35:36+00:00

Sounds perfectly normal to me. Although 23 is still young, it's natural to want to "settle down" later in life. Arguably this is a result of beta traits yes but don't fall into the trap of thinking alpha = good, beta = bad. That ain't how it works. Everyone has a mix of alpha and beta traits to a degree.

[deleted] · 2018-02-08T12:14:19+00:00

YES! Absolutely, positively yes. Purely sexual "relationships" with no real emotional connection gets old after a while. That's not being "beta", it's being human.

Buildabearberger · 2018-02-08T14:08:44+00:00

First of all the Alpha/Beta labels are bullshit and it makes it hard to take people seriously who use them. Secondly, wolves, who's pack hierarchy this is all this stolen from are generally monogamous so if men are supposedly just like wolves in our behavior then monogamy should be our natural state.

planejane · 2018-02-08T17:40:48+00:00

If you're asking if it's possible, sure. Plenty of commenters here have clarified that already, so I can only voice my agreement.

If you're asking for advice on how to proceed, for you personally? With extreme caution, IMO. Yes, it's possible, and yes, he could very well be legitimately looking for an LTR, but this path is risky.

If he's not been in the habit of sustaining relationships before, he may be very bad at it. Tolerating anyone for the amount of time it takes to develop a LTR takes a lot of patience, maturity, and willing to compromise--which he may never have had to practice with a SO before if he was nailing new Tinder broads or bar babies every weekend. There is the significant possibility that even if he wants a LTR, he doesn't have the skillset to be successful at one. Has he ever had to deal with a girl PMSing before? Or having some small crisis happen? Or finding ways to stay interested during boring periods of everyday life that are simply inherent to relationships at one time or another?

There's also the high possibility that he's just saying it to get sex. Maybe he's great-you know him, I don't-but men have used that line on billions of women before you and will use it on billions after you. There's a reason TRPs who are so risk averse abhor female reformed sluts-there's always the chance they're not really that reformed. Same goes for men.

And yes, to answer your last question--there's a degree of beta-ness to wanting a LTR, but it can be the good kind of beta-if he has that patience, maturity, and willingness to compromise that I mentioned earlier. Those are all beta traits, but they're hardly bad ones.

wtknight · 2018-02-08T13:23:10+00:00

Sure. Alpha just means being sexually attractive. A sexually attractive man can choose to be monogamous if he desires, although I imagine that he may be tempted if other women continue to show interest in him.

gasparddelanuit · 2018-02-08T16:51:47+00:00

An alpha could get tired of spinning plates, especially if there was no purpose or meaning in his life and he felt that purpose and meaning could be found in a relationship.

That does not mean that he would be any good at a relationship. Many men enter relationships with the best of intentions and later discover that it is not for them, that the grass is not greener on the other side. They get bored and desire new pussy.

In any case, it’s not a beta move if a relationship is what a man wants and he is not being pressured into it in any way, either by society or individuals. If he’s doing it for himself and not because he thinks it’s what he’s supposed to do, that’s not particularly beta.

However, pressure can be subtle and many alphas, as with all types of men, are not well-informed, either about themselves, others or society. They can buy into ideas that do not reflect reality or what they themselves are best suited for. If they accept blue pill narratives, they probably will become more beta-like.

Dubslav_von_Chekem · Thu Feb 8 17:18:53 2018 UTC

He's bullshitting you, boss.

Priene · 2018-02-09T11:47:38+00:00

Perfectly normal for him to want that. I'm surprised he wants to hang his boots at the age of 23. Maybe he'll pop a few kids, get fat and then divorce-rape his wife.

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Eastuss · 2018-02-08T12:52:17+00:00

An alpha will just maintain the fact that he gets what he wants and he gives what he wants to give.

vandaalen · 2018-02-08T13:24:52+00:00

http://archive.fo/FH4Jh

S1imdragxn · 2018-02-08T14:37:02+00:00

Having a bunch of sex doesn’t make you an alfalfa

But sure being an alpha doesn’t mean you’re stupid af

[deleted] · 2018-02-08T15:37:14+00:00

If you buy into Alpha/Beta- yes, wanting an LTR is a beta trait regardless of the man’s past.

says_harsh_things · 2018-02-08T16:37:48+00:00

Sure, but you still need to keep up your game in a ltr so you arent taken advantage of.

[deleted] · 2018-02-08T18:46:04+00:00

Wishing for LTR or casual sex is in no way an indication that a person is beta or alpha. Period. What matters is how you approach those things.

[deleted] · 2018-02-08T20:48:40+00:00

He can. Does not mean he will

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-02-08T21:42:00+00:00

It makes sense, you know? 'Been there, done that' and the such.

goatismycopilot · 2018-02-08T23:07:21+00:00

He is bullshitting you because you must have indicated you want a relationship/dating/emotional connection, so he is telling you things you want to hear. I would step way back and observe his behavior because he is saying nice words. Talking to somebody doesn't mean anything, be cautious.

stats135 · 2018-02-09T02:17:21+00:00

He wants a long term relationship. Is wanting a LTR and deciding to not have casual sex anymore beta?

Of course not. At the end of it all, the most important part of AFBB isn't in the definition of "alpha" or "beta" but in the ordering. The value of a women lies in her youth and beauty. The man that gets with a women after her looks fade is, the "loser," the one that gets the short end of the stick. So being in a LTR or marriage in and of itself isn't a losing strategy, the issue is that women do no enter marriage until they have their youth and beauty used up by alphas.

There is nothing inherently better with casual sex. The objective is simply to have sex with women when they are young, hot, and beautiful. It just so happens that the way things work right now is that women have casual sex in their youth, and want marriage and relationships as their looks fade. If the women run on a BBAF timeline instead where women have marriages when they are young and casual sex when their youth fades,then LTR and marriage would be the clear winning strategy.

Mox_Ruby · 2018-02-15T18:24:38+00:00

Rolo tomassie is married wtf.

FairlyNaive · 2018-02-08T12:35:58+00:00

is tired of having casual sex
23

SlimLovin · 2018-02-08T13:53:23+00:00

This whole "Alpha" and "Beta" is such a meaningless (and thoroughly debunked) distinction among humans.

You dudes can't even seem to agree on what they mean.

In what way is it "beta" to be in love? Putting yourself on the line like that seems like a much, much bigger risk than asking out some broad at a bar.

And how is a life of temporarily satisfying but ultimately unfulfilling sex "alpha." Just seems sad to me, but YMMV.

Title	Can an Alpha get tired of spinning plates and want a LTR or was he always a beta?
Author	VampyBaby
Upvotes	2
Comments	80
Date	February 8, 2018 12:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7w4cj4/can_an_alpha_get_tired_of_spinning_plates_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-an-alpha-get-tired-of-spinning-plates-and-want.263684 https://theredarchive.com/post/263684

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